LIKE A WEANED CHILD WITH ITS MOTHER
If you didn’t have a chance to listen to Midday on Jan 14th, please click on my homepage and go to past programs because I begin the program with this story, and then Amy Shreve sings Psalm 131.
Because this was a pivotal moment in my grief journey, I’m going to share this excerpt from The God of All Comfort.
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On what would have been our fortieth anniversary, I sobbed a good part of the day. I was packing up the house to move from a home of sweet memories that I did not want to leave. The littlest things, like finding Steve’s white surgery coat with his initials, SGB, on the pocket could cause me to crumble.
When I went to bed that night, I was fretful. When you are suffering deeply, you think the regular frustrations of life might call a truce for a while, but, of course, they don’t. The toilet still overflows, the bills still pour in, and people—yes, even Christians!—can be difficult. Though I tried to sleep, anxieties multiplied, leaping over my pillow like bleating sheep.
I turned over on my side, looking at the vacant place where Steve used to be. Oh, my darling—how could this have happened to us?
Steve and I used to call each other “co-dependent insomniacs.” If one of us awoke in the night, he (or she) would whisper to the other: “Are you awake?” When it was me, I knew that even if Steve was asleep, he would rouse to keep me company. If I was worried about something, he would listen to me pour out my heart, stroking my back, empathizing with his deep masculine voice, his calming ways.
Sometimes he would help me laugh about a trouble. Other times, when he knew there was no humor in a situation, he’d simply pray over me and hold me. If sleep still eluded me, he’d start quoting our favorite nursery rhyme:
Winkin’, Blinkin’, and Nod, one night sailed off in a wooden shoe;
sailed off on a river of crystal light into a sea of dew…
Safe in Steve’s arms, our bed became a wooden shoe sailing off into a sea of dew—and I was lulled to sleep.
But Steve was not there. His side of the bed was achingly empty.
All of us have times of feeling alone, misunderstood, or betrayed. So often David felt that way and cried out: “How long, O Lord, how long?…All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.”
My cry that sleepless night was not nearly as eloquent as David’s. I simply sobbed: Help me, help me, help me, God! I knew I needed God to be my Comforter, my Counselor, and my Husband—but that understanding exploded into a question: “But how do I connect with Someone who is not flesh and blood?” When I couldn’t immediately sense God’s presence, I curled up in the middle of our king-sized bed and wept.
Without even realizing it, I had prayed a prayer of lamentation. While I was sobbing, curled in a fetal position, a scene from my past came to my mind: I was twenty-one, trying to calm our firstborn in the middle of the night. He would awaken, hungry and howling. Though I would run to him and lift him from his crib, unbuttoning my nightgown as we settled in the rocker, he was too fretful to latch onto my breast. He would root about, but if he didn’t find me in two seconds, he would rear back, his little face red and contorted, his fists flailing. If I stroked his cheek, like the nurse in the hospital had told me to do, trying to coax him to turn toward me, he would erupt in anger, bursting into a horrific wail, one that I knew carried through our thin apartment walls. A mother’s breasts respond to her baby’s cry and my milk let down, ready for my baby—but his fretful state kept him from connecting with me. I kept thinking, I’m right here, I’m right here! A very long ten minutes later, he’d finally find me and nurse greedily. His perspiring little face would relax, his eyes closing at half-mast in contentment. I would think, “Oh my, Pumpkin—what was all that about? I was right here.”
Suddenly, I identified. I was that baby, concentrating more on my distress than on the One who was right there. I sensed the Lord saying: Dee, I am right here. I am right here.
I stopped my fretting and fussing and was still. The chorus from an old hymn came to me, one I’d been listening to in a contemporary version, and I began to sing it softly, over and over again. In essence, it is the repeated cry of the psalms of lamentation:
I need Thee, O I need Thee…
Every hour I need Thee,
O bless me now, My Savior, I come to Thee.
Gradually, my soul began to calm, my body began to relax, and my eyes went to half-mast…
When I woke the next morning, much more rested, I opened my Bible to pray through a psalm, as was, thank God, already my habit. My psalm that morning “happened” to be Psalm 131. When I read it I knew that God was “kissing me.” (“A kiss from the King” according to Rabbinic tradition, is a living word from God.) God’s living word was confirming to me exactly what I had experienced from His Spirit the night before.
I have stilled and quieted my soul;
Like a weaned child with its mother,
Like a weaned child is my soul within me.
Psalm 131:2
Psalm 131 is one I already knew by heart from listening to it as a song. It was so very clear by this point that God was entering into dialogue with me, that I slowed down to meditate on the words I’d already memorized.
Now I’m going to ask you, my contemplative sisters, to meditate and reflect on this psalm. I’m not going to have a lot of internet access in the next week, but will check in when I can. I’m going to suggest a question a day for the next week. This psalm is crucial. It’s only three verses long and would be so good for you to memorize.
This weekend:
1. After reading my story, comment: How does praying the psalms allow God to enter into dialogue with you, instead of having just a one way conversation? How did this happen with me? Has it yet for you?
Monday
2. This can happen for you too — and the key is in meditating on, praying through, and memorizing the psalm (perhaps with the help of music.) Read the psalm slowly, meditatively. If you have Amy’s version of it, begin to memorize it (you can hear it on that Midday Connection program by listening online– it’s in the first 15 minutes of January 14th’s program) Write down any phrases that strike you, for the Spirit may be speaking to you.
Tuesday:
3. Meditate on verse 1. With the help of His Spirit, other translations, and cross references — why do you think the psalmist says, “My heart is not proud?” “I will not concern myself with great matters nor with things too profound for me.” (NKJV)
Wednesday
4. What difficulties are you going through right now that are hard to understand? What do you learn from the above? Write down your resolve, rephrasing verse 1.
Thursday
5. A weaned child was actually an older child weaned from the breast to a cup (something that happened when children were three or older in biblical times — and was very traumatic to them - but one day they were content without the breast) — but we may better be able to relate to a fretful baby who finally calms. What do you learn from this metaphor — from comparing your anxious soul to a fretful baby? Memorize verse 2.
Friday
6. What instruction can you glean from verse 2 for you in your situation — or for you when you will go through future storms? Can you do this now?
Saturday
7. This may not seem like a classic lament, but it is, because actually Psalm 130 and Psalm 131 should go together. Looking at these together, find:
A. The cry of lament (Psalm 130:1-2)
B. The questions, the dialogue, the remembering of God’s mercies (Psalm 130:3-6)
C. The resolve (Psalm 131)
Praying for you as you contemplate!
Finish memorizing Psalm 131 by memorizing verse 3
FINALLY — LET’S HEAR SOME WAYS GOD MINISTERED TO YOU THROUGH THIS — WOULD LOVE TO HEAR SOME SENTENCES FROM OUR SILENT SISTERS TOO!
8. How did God speak to you through this exercise? Would love to hear from silent sisters!
Kim D, Thank you for sharing your encouragement from the Lord about your son. I am also encouraged. I think it is remarkable that the thought about free will came to you ‘out of the blue’. I have gotten a lesson in the last couple of years in discerning the difference between God speaking to me and the voice of the enemy. Satan’s words come that way, in fact they leave me looking around for where the voice came from. I believe that is because he does not know what we are thinking.
Kim T, thank you too. I’m going to use that part about shaking him over hell but not dropping him. I will also pray for some specific scriptures. I have some but have never really asked for more. The first one was Hosea 2:6,7 about hedging his way. Then when I did Dee’s study she said the next step when that was not responded to was Hosea 2:14,15. Iv’e done that also so now it is time for more.
Now to dig into our new assignment.
Blessings ladies.
Dee,
Thanks so very much for teaching us to pray the Psalms. I have been doing this for a few years and yes, you are so right, it allows God to interact with us through His Word. There are no coincidences, only kisses. I used to call them “God moments”. Thanks for sharing Psalm 131, these are my verses to memorize this week, that I might keep them with me for the rest of my life.
God be with you this next week Dee. Thanks for taking care of your sisters before you set sail.
Dee,
You beautifully desribed how when you were so very distressed that God brought to your mind at that very moment the way that your baby was in turmoil until he found his sustenance. Once found, peace overcame him and all was well with his soul. That memory alone was a kiss from the King as a reminder to you that He was there with you and you could relax in him and have peace and sleep; but, He wasn’t done with you. The next morning He kissed you again with the very Psalm that you were due to read that day being Psalm 131 that spoke about the Lord stilling and quieting your soul, like the weaned child with it’s mother. How awesome is our God? There are no coincidences, only kisses from the King!
Thanks for starting us out Anne and Kim! I do think I’ll be able to check in sometimes this week — I so enjoy reading what the Lord is showing you.
I think this psalm is particularly meaningful to women, whether they have experienced motherhood or not — most have experienced calming a baby.
Here’s an extra question: Why do you think the soul is feminine in Scripture? The pronouns show that — and she is compared to vulnerable creatures like fretful babies and thirsty deer…. Thoughts?
Yes God be with you, Dee. In the past when I have read/prayed through the Psalms during a difficult time, this one had no real effect on me. Now, with your words and my situation with my daughter it has a different effect. My soul needs the quieting that only God can give and I am constantly turning to Him for that deep contentment that only He can give me.
Maybe as mothers, as we are performing our daily tasks we are so busy serving that we put ourselves aside so to speak…I remember the contentment I felt at that time as well. By serving others we are serving God and I know for me I feel closer to God when I am serving others.
I am still working on question 1. I have also been kissed by Ps 131. What touched me was the picture of a 1 or 2 year old child calmly sitting in mother’s lap trusting for ‘what is next’. Not my experience with a child that age, especially not a hungry one. I did’t feel so bad that this does not come naturally to me. But the word picture calmed me right down.
Why do you think the soul is feminine in Scripture? The pronouns show that — and she is compared to vulnerable creatures like fretful babies and thirsty deer…. Thoughts?
First, I love this Psalm. I love picturing the satisfied child after such nurturing. I long for that kind of nurturing. Me, the apple of my mother’s eyes, her adoration just for me. I am learning to receive all this from El Shaddai, translated many breasted one and all sufficient one.
Recently, I had a dream about driving my new car on a loft and I made a u-turn and crashed through the loft rail falling 2 floors down; I woke up screaming while falling. The Lord immediately reminded me of Psalm 131. He said many things to my heart, but after reading this post, I can see God was also trying to get me to calm down and know he is here for me. Awesome. God says he quiets us with his love.
Second, the soul is feminine perhaps how receiving or absorbing the soul is like a woman. A woman is also frail. “Frailty, thy name is woman,” a great poet wrote. A woman is in greater need of protection like a frail animal. And women are allowed their emotions like a fretful baby should be allowed for a time. A woman is like the soul which encompasses our mind, will, and emotions.
How does praying the Psalms allow God to enter into dialogue with you?
I’m thinking, Dee, that “all Scripture is God-breathed”. I know it was human hands that wrote the words down, but I like to picture in my mind God breathing out the very words he wanted to be communicated to us into those mens’ souls, and they wrote.
There is no other book where the words can literally “come alive” when you are reading them, speaking to you and confirming what you believe.
Many years ago, I was going through a time of great confusion and doubt, about my salvation, about having made the right decision to leave a particular church for a different one. I turned to the Gospel of John. There are so many rich truths in John, but as I read, the only words which seemed to leap off the page at me were any time Jesus said, “I TELL YOU THE TRUTH”. It was as if he was saying to me, “Don’t listen to doctrines of men, listen to me. I tell the truth.”
Another time, before my daughter was born, I had some episodes of rapid and irregular heart beat that took me to the ER a couple of times. I became extremely fearful of being alone at home, I would actually sit outside thinking, well, if I die, at least one of the neighbors will see me! One day, I was almost having a panic attack, and I tried calling everyone I knew. Either lines were busy, or they weren’t home. So I got out my Bible and turned to Hebrews, and read how Jesus is “not..unable to sympathize with our weaknesses,”. I realized Jesus was in every way human, like me, and could understand anything I was going through. I thought, “The Bible is my ‘phone book’, and I can ‘call’ God anytime and His line is never busy!
So I think that whenever we use Scripture, whether Psalms or other verses, it allows God to enter into dialogue with us because those words on the page were spoken by Him, inspired by Him, it’s what He wants us to know. I had a Bible teacher who always said the Bible is God’s love letter to us.
You had cried out to God in lament, asking for help and wanting to know how could you connect with an invisible God? And God wanted to answer that question, and brought to your mind your memory of your fretful baby and then, confirmed it when you read Psalm 131, He was able to speak to your heart that you had been like a fretful baby, refusing the nourishment that was right there all along.
I think of how many times I pray, a one-way conversation, and then don’t take the time to be still and listen for God to say anything, and get up and go about my day.
Loved this, Livingloved. Woman, frailty…
Dee, your story of an empty bed is so close to my heart, as you know from reading my book. Your cry to God and the gift of psalm 131 reminded me of some journaling I did with a new puppy. I talked about the puppy having a difficulty and coming to me and how he laid his head in my hand for comfort and consolation. Meditating on that led me to seeing myself laying my head in the hand of my Heavenly Father. On nights of sorrow or discomfort I had that picture in my mind of my pillow being the hand of God and I snuggled in to that hand for comfort and consolation. I believe my prayer was something like, Lord, make me your lapdog.
This morning, meditating on Psalm 131,led me to Matthew Henry’s commentary and a wonderful Kiss from the King. He says that this psalm speaks to two things that comfort us: a consciousness of our integrity and being reconciled to every condition God places us in. The kiss is “When our condition is not to our mind we must bring our mind to our condition. Then we go easy on ourselves and those around us, our souls are as a weaned child.”
I have spent three days beating myself up for the actions of my children. I have revisited every bad-mothering moment I can remember (and probably made most of them far worse than they were)and have tried myself before a jury of my own appointing to judge myself guilty of their actions. What a stupid way to spend three days! This scripture and commentary have pulled me out of this abyss of guilt and reminded me that I trust God’s grace in this condition and hold on to the hope that He will use this for good if I keep myself out of the way and rely on His intervention…like your fussing baby who finally turned to your comforting, nurturing breast.
Janet,
I like your dog picture.
Janet, I’m sorry you have had some bad days. I sense that the enemy would like to stop us from participating in this study and as a result we are under extra heavy fire.
I also feel responsible for the choice my son has made but my brain is telling me that just isn’t true. I’m sure you know all the comforts that people will give. They are good but there’s still the accuser’s voice and there is still the pain.
Looking back I see things I didn’t do and as the years go by I think of more things that ‘could have done it’. The truth is, I was not the only one parenting him. God was the perfect parent. I remember one year in particular when God blessed his birthday. He was playing basketball in middle school. Not what he loved or was all that good at, but he had a good coach and he played for him. He had a game on his birthday and we were going to celebrate after but didn’t have a party(faux pas in my book at the time). He shot the last 2 free throws in that game which won it and I was in pure awe of God. It was nothing but Him, blessing him on his birthday. Many unfortunate things happened also and I did not notice, partly because I was busy with my other son born when he was 11, and partly because I’m just not that sharp. The greatest of which was allowing him to go to Catholic school. Not that I am against that in particular, but he had been raised Protestant and it created a crisis of belief for him. Looking back I would kick myself if I could for being so insensitive. I know that God is still parenting him and my resolve is to never stop praying.
Anne,
Thank you for reminding me of the spiritual warfare that intensifies when we enter the holy space of Christian community praying and studying together. Your words bring to mind St. Monica’s determination to persist as a prayer warrior for her son Augustine, a wayward son with an eventual powerful conversion.
Janet, I just went back and read the last entries on our previous assignment and I had not even seen yours. I’m sorry if what I said above sounds trite. I might have spoken differently or been silent if I had seen those entries. I’m so sorry for what you are going through.
I have been away for awhile but ready to dig in again today with Monday’s assignment. The verse that keeps rolling over and over in my mind is verse 1 of Psalm 131: “My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty.” In my mind I can see the beggar-man who has been standing on various street corners near the mall in our town, hoping for a handout, covering himself with a couple pieces of cardboard that end with the message “…and God Bless You.” The thing that I see is that my heart IS proud and my eyes ARE haughty. How many times have I seen someone of miserable circumstance–certainly far worse than my own plight–or someone who is disfigured from disease or cannot communicate clearly, etc., and turned the other way? I remember reading once that the Lord Jesus often disguises himself as the poor, the unfortunate. I have a long way to go yet in learning humility. It is a slow process for me, but as I look back over the years I can see how the Lord has been using various misfortunate in my own life to allow me to learn compassion for those less fortunate than I.
Deb,
How your words speak to my heart! How many times have I walked past Jesus with so much to do that I did not take time to meet him face to face. Thank you for this “kiss”.
Hi all,
I am NOT having fun with verse 1 because my heart is proud, my eyes are haughty, and I do want to “figure things out.” For the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking about pride and humility, and for much of that time, I’ve had no desire to be humble (and told God so). Now I’m seeing that God is gradually changing my desire. I don’t think I could shout vs. 1 “from the rooftops” but by God’s grace, I’m finally willing to start to pray that verse 1 will be true in my life. Wrestling with Ps 131:1 is so disquieting that the placement of verse 2 is particularly comforting. It’s too easy for me to get stuck at verse 1 rather than see the “bigger picture” of the whole psalm.
I like that lap dog picture!
In question 1 I think praying the Psalms will allow God to speak to our hearts in more than just words. When we lament, we express feelings to God. Anger, fear, hopelessness, depression, to name a few. Then when we remember what He has done, when we begin to praise Him it all begins to dissipate.
Psalm 131 paints a comforting picture of security. God brought it to Dee when she was in the midst of great lament. He did it for me also and it was like when He calmed the storm. It just stopped. Word pictures speak to feelings when words many times do not. If I had read ‘I am with you always, even to the end of the age’ I might have said ‘I know Lord but…’ That picture went straight to my heart and the water became still.
I think humility has to come first. If we are proud, we are not much like a little child. They are just not, that’s what is so sweet about them. If we are proud we do get involved in things to great for us. I don’t remember the circumstances of my Ps 131 experience. but I remember I was suffering the sting of being humbled. It happens to me a lot. God did not give me beauty, talent or great ability because He knew me. Still I try and I get so tired of it. It’s like something rotten in me that everyone but me can smell.
Wow. All your responses have made me stop and absorb your words…nothing changed for me in an instant. It was agonizingly slow…I am so very stubborn…and I was so very fragile when I first cried out to God my lament. Dee’s question, “How do I connect with Someone who is not flesh and blood?” was a mountain for me.
When deep pain slammed into my life, I was like a windshield that had shattered but not lost its form. I held tight to that form in my own strength and I knew I didn’t have much time. I knew I needed simple and rock solid. I cried out to God, “Lord, Lord, I need you!”…over and over, not letting myself still or quiet. I was terrified that I would just disappear. Please know that none of this was at a conscious level but came from very deep within my soul. Ever so slowly, I sensed Him SO tenderly enveloping me into His arms while He brought me to Psalms 143:7-8. In these verses, He was telling me He knew my fears and understood…that He heard my NEED for His strength, His words, His love…for simple and solid. I knew, then and finally, that He KNEW me…that I had found TRUE sanctuary. That was when I understood that He would teach me to still and quiet my soul AND that I would not disappear…
El,
That was just beautiful what you wrote. Yes, God KNEW you!
I thought of Isaiah 42:3, “A bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out”. God dealt tenderly with you.
Tuesday, question 3: The first verse of Psalm 131 impresses upon me that David knows he is a simple shepherd, an ordinary, regular guy. Anything above ordinary that has attached itself to him was not something he sought after, it just happened. Knowing that, he will not claim greatness or superiority in his heart or see himself as better than others. He accepts where he is at and acknowledges that he is not there by his own doing. This is a statement of true humility.
Sorry, if I haven’t responded to your grief. Sunday my beloved brother died from AIDS and complication with cancer and hepatitis C. They gave him his first chemo and it killed him. We were very close. I am missing him. My heart in so much pain.
Livingloved,
I am so sorry to hear about your brother. I’m praying for you.
Thank you very much. Love, Livingloved
Livingloved,
I just saw your message concerning your brother. I am so very sorry. I will stop right now and pray for you. May you feel all our prayers for you.
Thank you sis, yes waves of comfort, thank you …. Love, Livingloved
My heart goes out to you I will be praying for you.
Claudia, thank you, I need your heart because mine is broken in a million or more pieces. Thank you very much. Love, Livingloved
Aww, sweetie, I’m so very sorry. Wish I could just hold you. I know the Savior is. Praying…
Thank you. I am picturing myself in your loving arms, thank you for your comfort. Love, Livingloved. Yes He is … He weeps with us who weep.
Sorry to all my sisters going through such tough times, so sorry.
Praying too that angels will minister comfort to you and your family right now. I’m glad you are in this study with loving sister’s who will hold you up.
Thank you very much. Me too, I am glad you are one of those sisters. Love, Livingloved
Livingloved,
I am so sad for you. I can’t imagine losing my brother, especially in such a painful way. It is so hard to sit with someone through something as dreadful as cancer and not be able to do anything. I’m sure your prayer and presence gave him much comfort in his last struggle with this disease. I, too, am praying for you and those who knew and loved your brother. Isn’t it wonderful to have these sisters surrounding us in our pain! Thank you, Lord, for preparing the path so that we might have community in this time of need.
Indeed Janet. Thank you, Hugs! Love, Livingloved. We are growing weary of all the negotiating. My mother just had a stroke, we are trying not to tell her for as long as possible. Both her and my brother live overseas. It is very frustrating and a time to trust our Father. Thank you, again, so appreciative. My Family extend their gratitude to you sisters as well.
Livingloved
My heart breaks for you. I too have a brother living with AIDS and although I do not hear from him as often as I would like, every moment with him is a gift. I will be lifting you up.
God comfort my sister, and I pray for any reconciliation needed, healing, and love. Thank you. Love, Livingloved
Livingloved, please know that I will be praying for you and your entire family as you go through the loss of your precious brother. Praying that God holds you close and you feel His presence. Love you
#2. Meditating on and praying through the Psalm.
I thought at first, “how much can a Psalm with only 3 verses really have to say?” I have been blown away by all it has to say.
I heard Chuck Swindoll say on the radio that we see ourselves between the lines of Scripture. I certainly see myself between the lines of the first verse, that I am prideful and I can have haughty eyes.
In praying through it, I turned it into a Psalm of confession for me and asking God to change my heart, and give me His eyes to see others as He sees them.
My NIV Bible gives this subtitle for the Psalm, “Childlike hope in the Lord”. To read through it with childlike eyes, thinking of how my children, when they were small, were not proud, and when they were hurt, or sick, always came running to me for help. They never worried about “grown-up” matters, but simply trusted that they would be cared for. How I would like to come to the Lord in that way, in simplicity and truth, trusting Him to hold me close and meet my need.
Susan, I was reflecting back to when my kids were small, as well, and “saw” the same thing that you write in your last paragraph. For me,to be childlike would be to have utter trust in my Savior and that would allow me to be easy in my soul in every situation in my life. It is my earnest prayer for my soul to be quieted and cease fretting.
Anne, these words from you: “Psalm 131 paints a comforting picture of security. God brought it to Dee when she was in the midst of great lament. He did it for me also and it was like when He calmed the storm. It just stopped. Word pictures speak to feelings when words many times do not. If I had read ‘I am with you always, even to the end of the age’ I might have said ‘I know Lord but…’ That picture went straight to my heart and the water became still.” touched a deep chord in me. That is exactly what God did for me when my soul was keening. I asked for simple and solid and that is what He gave me.
Thank you, both, for helping me to make these connections at a deeper level.
This is a short Psalm with alot in it. In my study Bible it talks about the whole pride issue and how we are so concerned about what everyone else is doing that we become restless and dissatisfied with our lives. I have sooo been doing this in regards to my daughter and what she is going through at this time. I have been concerned about what others are thinking of me and how I failed as a parent as well.(Anne) When in truth they become adults (mine is anyway) and they then become responsible for the choices they make in life. We can raise them up but then we have to give them back to God. It’s so hard when they have things like depression. I have been soul searching this last week and realizing it’s about my daughter and complete healing of her choice…not mine. Yes, we’ve gone through this several times before and thought she was healed. This time she is going through it without me and I have to just live my life and let her. The GOD of the universe is here with me though and HE is calming me, comforting me and loving me.
Hi Ladies,
This is one of those times, I believe for me to be silent. But please know - Livingloved and Janet and all of the rest of you that I am praying for you and with you. I so relate to those of you who said, “but my heart is proud… and my eyes are haughty… and I do concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.” But then again, I know that You, O Lord are also too wonderful for me too and for that I know that You will quiet my soul.
Livingloved, I’m very sorry about your brother. I will also pray for you and your family.
Claudia, I do notice that when I begin to compare any part of my life to others I become exactly as you said, restless and dissatisfied and I think that is pride and envy. Though maybe not so much envy because what I feel is like I’m just not good. I don’t know, it’s confusing.
On Dee’s question about the female pronoun describing the soul, I can only guess. Maybe it has to do with headship and how God created Adam to be head over Eve. Men are the head of their families and responsible to God for them. In the same way the soul is not meant to stand alone but in submission to God. Babies are vulnerable and need the protection of parents. About deer, I’m not sure except to say that they are never predators and also vulnerable, not proud either. Quite opposite the lion.
On question 3 he says he is not proud and does not get involved in matters too difficult for him. These are the matters that should be left to God. Like I can probably decide how to fix my hair or what to wear but when it comes to who I should marry or why I am in such difficulty, I should leave it to Him. Someone mentioned the fact that children leave the grown up stuff to the grown ups and trust that they will take care of it. In this way we can be like a little child and not worry.
Anne, Thank you, thank you, we are in need, to say the least. In His love, Livingloved Hugs!
4. This is a hard question. I am a fixer, a problem solver. What is hard for me to understand in my current difficulty is how do you right a wrong without creating more wrongs than rights? “Fixing” this issue in a logical way will hurt more people than it helps. So the right solution might be all wrong. Confusing. Psalm 131:1 helps me see that this is too lofty for me and that in this case perhaps I think I am more important than I really am (my pride - fixers are quite proud of their ability to fix. We like playing God.)
So my resolve in this issue is this:
Lord, I resolve to let this problem work its way out without my intervention, accepting that it is beyond my understanding, knowing that it is not beyond yours.
Even though I haven’t commented before, I have been following much of this study and many of your comments. Dee, I really appreciate all of your time and work and prayer our behalf, and I appreciate the openness and insight of the sisters in Christ that have shared. I am SO very sorry for the loss of your brother, Livingloved, and pray that you will truly find the Lord to be your “Father of mercies and God of all Comfort” at this very difficult time.
I would like to comment briefly on #2 for Monday–phrases that struck me from Ps. 131. I was struck by verse 2 which says, “I have calmed and quieted my soul.” This reminds me that I have a responsibility to calm and quiet my own soul. Then I thought, “How should I do this?” My answer is so simple, but it is really what our whole study is about. I need to calm and quiet my soul by reminding myself of who God is and how I can hope in Him. I think that the weaned child has learned to trust his mother and to know that she will meet his needs at the right time and in the right way. This allows him to enjoy simply resting in her loving arms, to enjoy her for who she is, not just what she can do for him. God wants me to trust Him to meet my needs at the right time and in the right way. This will allow me to enjoy simply resting in His loving arms, to enjoy Him for WHO He is, not just what He can do for me. (Eugene Peterson addresses this in his book A LONG OBEDIENCE IN THE SAME DIRECTION). I pray that I will grow in calming and quieting my soul with His Word, His precious promises to me.
This makes so much sense to me. We need to quiet our own soul before God. I keep getting a picture of a fretful child. How do we calm them? By getting their attention off themselves and onto US because we know more than they do, and we know it will be okay. Fretting turns us inward…resting turns us toward the God of all comfort.
Marlys, this makes much sense to me, too. I really struggle with the idea of quieting my own soul because I struggle with how to do that in my own strength. Allie really talks to how that can happen if we can come to the point of “simply resting in His loving arms, to enjoy Him for who He is” with no expectations…huge for me…and hard to do. I hate the fretting I do and pray the same prayer you do, Allie. I have spent the last two days speaking Psalm 131 and “It Is Well With My Soul” over and over because I know speaking His Word quiets my soul…and I have to continually remind myself…ugh! And…as I speak His words out loud to myself, I feel the calm descend over me…
Marlys,
I see that in my own life, too. Being fretful is so me-focused, and turns us inward. Often leads to nothing but a big pity party!
Welcome Allie Jo! I am so glad to see you in this study. You and your husband have been a blessing to me over the years. Bless you.
#3.
I looked up several cross-references on pride/haughty. All had a similar theme of the Lord will (the proud,the haughty) bring them low, not endure them, humble them.
I liked Psalm 131:1 in The Message translation:
God, I’m not trying to rule the roost, I don’t want to be king
of the mountain. I haven’t meddled where I have no business
or fantasized grandiose plans.”
I liked Janet’s response where she said that David knows he is not better than anyone else and that he is not in the position he is in by his own doing.
As I imagined David writing this prayer to God in his “prayer journal”,
I see David the king humbly approaching the God he knew was “The King”,
king over him. He says he is not going to involve himself in great matters, or in things too difficult (marvelous) for him. He is going to let God be God.
#4.
My nephew died almost six months ago. I still cannot seem to let go of wanting to know exactly what happened the night he died. He was with others, he died of an overdose. Did they leave him? Could they have helped him? Since his death, I have heard testimonies of those who were delivered from their addictions to alcohol and drugs, and are now serving the Lord. I wonder, why not him, God? Why no deliverance for him, here on this earth? Did you not have a wonderful plan for his life, too? Must my parents, in their old age, go to their graves with this sorrow? He was just days away from his 22nd birthday.
I believe he is in heaven. He trusted in Jesus as a young boy and asked for baptism. Why does heaven seem like the “booby prize”? Because I want him to still be here with us.
This kind of moves into #5. but I feel like if I give up the “fight”, it’s like saying, “it’s okay that he’s gone”. And it’s not okay. It feels like if I stop the “fretting” it’s like I’m forgetting him, leaving him behind while I move on.
But what do I gain, if I remain, like the fretting, stiffened child who refuses to stop fighting, in this state of questioning God, trying to know His reasons, as if I could, trying to peer into things too difficult for me? Then I will not be comforted.
Dee, your chapter 2 in the book spoke volumes to me. When you wrote that our pride must die because it keeps us from God. You wrote that “We assume that WE know what would have been wise and loving and the God who made the universe does not. We have judged the perfect Judge and found Him wanting.”
And this, “The last thing you want to do is cross through the raging river of grief, for that means accepting the reality that this terrible thing is true.” Oh, how I don’t want my nephew’s death to be true.
How comforting were your words, Dee, that you know weaning is hard.
And how I needed to hear those words that you keep repeating throughout that chapter, to “not back away from God, the only One who can help us.” Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Oh, man, my heart breaks for you, sorry, so sorry. Your questions comforted me that you even questioned. Sorry. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Livingloved. I know you are right in the depths of your grief from losing your dear brother.
May you find comfort in God and as we all journey on together.
Thank you, journeying not alone such a comfort. Thanks, again.
I am so very sorry for your loss. When I read your post it reminded me of an encouraging verse Dee had me memorize years ago that helps me when I don’t understand and am concerned. Luke 10:41: Jesus is talking to Martha and saying “Martha, Martha, you are troubled about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from her.” (Mary had sat at Jesus’ feet.) My prayer is for myself as well, that we would desire to sit at His feet, especially when we are anxious and don’t understand. I hope this helps. =)
Susan, how tragic for you and your family. Some things are beyond understanding, they just need accepted…eventually.
Have you ever gone whitewater rafting? You are tooling along on your raft enjoying the beautiful scenery and the warm sun on your back when all of a sudden the water begins churning and your raft is tossed in the air. It comes crashing down in the raging waters to be tossed and turned again and again. All your senses come alive as you work to keep afloat. But when you get through that last swirl of water you come out on the other side into a calm that you had not appreciated before you hit the rapids. Working through grief is a lot like that. You are raw and paddling like crazy just to stay afloat. It seems you will never get to the calm. But the calm comes. It seems to come faster if you have help with the paddling. The Lord is really good at paddling. We merely have to hand him the oar.
You will get through this, dear one. It will become real as soon as your heart can bear the finality. Let go of the oar and watch for the calm.
Yes, Janet, I think you “hit the nail on the head”. That it will become real as soon as my heart can bear the finality. It’s the finality of it that is so hard to come to terms with.
Thank you to all for your kind words. I think we are all helping each other to “paddle” through our grief, too.
Hello Ladies. This is my first time here this week. I’m so sorry for all the pain & loss expressed here. It blesses me to see you reaching out and trusting our mighty God to comfort you “like a weaned child.”
#3 - Meditating on verse 1 is painful for me! I am so very proud & have such a haughty heart! I think I know what God should do (or should have done), and I tell Him so regularly! My particular “valley” right now is not as devistating as some of you, but here it is…
God is asking me to sit quietly at His feet and watch my teenager flunk his classes! You see, Isaac is my grandson who came to live with me at 6 mo. I was 42, my youngest was 11 and I was just starting college. The choices Isaac’s dad (my son) was making, and the stress of having another son to raise (our 5th), sent my husband of 30 years into the arms of another.
So, I found myself divorced, a single mom/gramma, and school work to do! I can’t begin to tell you how God blessed me through all that! I knew God wanted Isaac with me and I’ve dedicated the last 18 years to giving him a godly start (only by God’s grace, I might add). He has been such a blessing to me. But now, he’s choosing NOT to do his school work. He’s a great kid…a model kid, actually. Strong Christian, making good choices, leading other teens in the right way.
But, it’s looking like he may not graduate! And what does God tell me?? “Sit at my feet and worship Me. I have a master plan.” I feel like Dee’s son who was too fretful to relax in his mother’s arms. I want to kick & scream! Haughtiness…pure & simple pride! Do I know better than God?? By God’s grace, I WILL allow God’s peace to penetrate my soul and I WILL trust Him. He is faithful!
Marlys,
What a strong woman you are! Waiting and watching are real challenges, aren’t they? Boy, how I know that! May God bless you in the waiting.
I guess I am still grieving the loss of my mama, my spiritual mentor, last May. She was 80 and had never been in the hospital except to have my sis and I. She had renal failure after a toxic shock to strep, was on dialysis, was truly getting better and then took a nap and never woke up. The shock was tremendous to say the least to everyone…but the joy is…she died in her sleep peaceful. We celebrated her life on their 57th ann. day one week later…Dad even talked about her and their life together. Then a mere 3wks later my oldest daughter got married. I am in a better place these days…I miss her horribly but I know where she is which gives me great peace. I also know that my life must continue on the journey, glorifying God.
I am weaning myself from mama learning to live life without her next to me. Yes, I know we will meet again in heaven and that gives me hope and the strength to continue on. I understand alot of Dee’s pain and ways of dealing with the loss. I too go to songs for comfort and I also have her journals full of written prayers and meaning scriptures to read over and over again. I just now am able to do a study without reading through each and every page of her journals.
Verse 1 in my words is this: I will trust You, O Lord my God, and be content in my life. I will seek to serve You by serving others.
Hugs to you,
Love,
Livingloved
It never ceases to amaze me how our Loving Father puts us in a position where we MUST learn to trust Him more. My prayers are with you, Claudia.
Our stories are so similar. I lost my sweet daddy last April. He died from a mistake during surgery. He was my dear friend, we had lunch together almost every week. In August my oldest son was married. Each time you write about your mama I cry for both of us. Same with the sister’s who are in pain over their children, I cry for all of you too, then peace and comfort come and a restful trust in the one who holds all our tears in jars.
Claudia,
I wll be praying for you. What a spiritual legacy your mom left through her journals!
Wednesday, question #4
My concern for today:
In one month two clients have died and myself and 30 part time caregivers are out of work.
My prayer is that I want to rest in the Lord and wait for Him to show me the way. I also want to respect my husbands wishes and take some much needed time off but at the same time I feel a burden for the gals who need to find work right away.
My resolve is to remember God’s help in the past and count my blessings while waiting for an answer.
P.S. I love this study and all my sister’s. It is so timely!
Kim, thanks for encouraging me in this study. It’s so special to reconnect with you again! I will pray that God will give you His peace about taking the time off to rest that you need and also that He will provide the work for you and the other caregivers at just the right time.
I remember what a wonderful blessing you were when you cared for Jo and Skeeter Payne.
Sisters — I appreciate each of you so much. I am still away from the internet this week but a dear lady took me so I could at least connect for a moment and read your wonderful responses. I love how you are really looking and listening to each other.
I am a day behind, so I will combine both Tuesday and Wednesday:
Verse 1:
I think that David starts with “My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty;” because I must first get rid of pride to allow my Father to comfort me, to meet my needs. I must realize that God is in complete control of every aspect of my life. He filters all things that touches my life through His fingers. He allows those things (both good and bad) that will shape me into the jar that He has designed Himself. Because I have pride, I tend to try to take care of my own needs without Him and miss intimate moments with Him, and in turn I miss His blessings and His comfort.
I think that David goes on to say “I do not consider myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me”, because it is my faith in God that sustains me. I know that when I place things in His hands, He will work them for good. I don’t even have to know the end of the story!
I have been praying for my son’s relationship with the Lord for about 9 years now. Wow, I didn’t even realize it had been that long prior to writing this and doing the math. There have been times that I wonder if my prayers will ever be answered; then, there are times of great faith and I rest in the Lord with great joy just knowing that there is nothing to worry about…after all, God is in control! I lay it down, I take it up, I lay it down, I take it up. I do have huge issues with pride. I came to a realization quite some time ago that pride is the common denominator in every sin that I struggle with. God is working in a mighty way with me on this.
Rephrase of verse 1 for me:
O Lord, I long to have a heart that is void of pride. I want a heart like Yours, one that is full of compassion toward all people. I long to be a servant instead of one who waits to be served. Pour Your Holy Spirit over me in conviction when my eyes are haughty and I overlook the needs of others. I need not concern myself with how it is that You will answer my cry. If I were to know the details they would be too wonderful for me to comprehend. Instead Lord, I trust that You are at work (even now) on my son’s behalf.
I love your rephrasing of verse 1, Kim D. Yes, I struggle too with wanting to be served rather than to serve. That is a beautiful prayer.
Question #4. My Resolve
Empty my heart of pride, Oh Lord.
Take the haughtiness from my eyes.
I know there are things much too
difficult for me to ever understand.
I will not fret and struggle to look
into these things.
I will peer into the face of my God
and know that You are good.
#5. What do you learn from the metaphor of comparing your anxious soul to a fretful baby?
In my Bible there are 2 cross-references by the word “child”.
One is Matthew 18:3, Jesus said…”unless you change (some translations say unless you are converted) and become like little
children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
The other is 1 Cor 14:20 “Brothers, stop thinking like children…in your thinking be adults.”
The one is about that childlike trust we need to place in Jesus for our very salvation, the other seems to admonish us to be mature.
It seems a very delicate balance between the two. Weaning is hard, but necessary for a child to grow and mature. Yet the weaned child is still very dependent on his mother.
So too we go through spiritual weaning. In order to grow up spiritually, to mature. Yet in growing up in the Lord, we never grow out of needing Him. The call to maturity, to stop being that fretful, unyielding child demanding his own way, and yield, to God.
I am learning that growing up is hard. The path to spiritual maturity includes pain and suffering and unanswered questions, but ultimately leads to an abiding trust in the Lord. I may never understand the “why”, yet I will gain wisdom.
Before I share my thoughts on Ps 131 I want to share why Dee’s online studeis mean so much to me. I have an older sister who wants nothing to do with me. I have tried to reach out but she is in a prison of bitterness over some decisions made by our mother when we were children. I called her on her birthday recently but she did not acknowledge. I am praying she will forgive our mother and reconcile with her. What gets to me is that she lives less than an hour away (I’m 5.5 hrs away)from our mother and is throwing away the precious time God is giving her. Mama will be 70 on Feb 18. Will you all pray that my sister will at least acknowledge our mother’s birthday? That’s all my mother wants-to hear the voice of her child. You all are my sisters in Christ and I am thankful that He gives me sisterly love through you. I have a special ’sister’ in the local congregation I attend. Thanks!
These are my thoughts on Ps 131.?’s 4 and 5.
As a human creature whose natural bent is to want to call the shots in my life, I believe the psalmist is saying:
“Lord I humble myself before you and admit I don’t have all the answers nor can I even attempt to try to explain Your mysterious ways. You, Lord,have made it clear You will never be figured out. So I give up trying.”
I thought of the word insecure as I read the words ‘fretful baby’-'anxious soul’. I lived in insecurity much of my life. Once I accepted the fact that some relational situations may never be as I desire, I was able to realize the truth that GOD IS ALL I NEED!!
Amen to that last sentence!
Praying for your sister that she will realize that one day she will not have another chance to be with her mother and that she will truly desire reconciliation with you both. God rules, even over the human heart! It is so easy for people to think that things will go on always as they are now, nursing petty grievances and losing precious time.
As I reread that I realize that I need to practice what I preach! My sister and I are on civil terms but something is amiss that I need to look into. Thanks for sharing this Tammy.
Will be praying, Tammy! It will be easy to remember because my dad’s birthday is also Feb. 18. Yes, you have many sisters in Christ, we will all uphold you in prayer. Yet I sense your longing for reconciliation in your family.
Dear Father,
Thank you for the place that You’ve brought Tammy to where she can know in her heart of hearts that you are in control!
I ask that you will intervene and soften Tammy’s sister’s heart. Even today, Lord, I pray that a dear Christian will minister your healing to her. Break down the walls of bitterness, and help her to accept Your love and Your plan for her life.
I pray these things in Jesus name, Amen.
Thursday:
In regards to the metaphor of comparing our anxious soul to a fretful baby:
When an infant baby is hungry it frets for one thing….nourishment and our hungry souls fret for one thing….Jesus Christ. If you try singing to a hungry infant, bouncing a hungry infant, rocking a hungry infant it does not meet the need. We try to feed our souls so many other things; but it is only Christ who can fill us.
Wow, that is such a good point! I don’t know how many of you took Dee’s “Woman of Moderation” study, but I really learned that I run to food to try to feed my soul instead of run to Christ.
Thanks, Kim, for the timely reminder.
Tammy,
Bless you dear sister that you care so much about your mother and your sister that you are praying for their relationship to be restored and have humbly put yourself aside. This was a great testimony to me. I will commit to praying for all three of you and trusting the Lord for His answer. It is wonderful to be able to share in fellowship and the study of the Word every single day with other women who love the Lord.
I have been working long hours for the last 3 days, but now it’s done and I got Dee’s book yesterday. Looking forward to digging into it. I have been reading comments and appreciate all.
I thought you all might enjoy “The Message” translation of this psalm:
1 God, I’m not trying to rule the roost, I don’t want to be king of the mountain.
I haven’t meddled where I have no business
or fantasized grandiose plans.
2 I’ve kept my feet on the ground,
I’ve cultivated a quiet heart.
Like a baby content in its mother’s arms,
my soul is a baby content.
3 Wait, Israel, for God. Wait with hope.
Hope now; hope always!
I especially like the wording of v.2: I’ve cultivated a quiet heart. I don’t know about the rest of you, but when I take my eyes off my mighty, sovereign Lord my heart is anything BUT quiet! During difficult times I must “cultivate a quiet heart” by keeping God’s word in front of my face (literally at times).
Qu #5. When I compare the quiet, weaned child with the fretful baby, I see the baby as very much controlled by basic needs. That is all a baby can listen to. If he is going to be calmed it must be done by mother and she is very skillful and focused on quieting him. When it is time to wean, as part of the growth process for which she is responsible, she must say no. Dee’s example with J.R.’s pacifier is good. It was just as hard for her as it was for him. When J.R. came through he had new freedom and the power that comes with discipline.
I’m sure God’s ways with us are much higher than this but I can see that on many of the paths where He leads us He is teaching us to walk with Him. To become able to rest in Him is calming, like coming out of the storm and into the sun. But some of the pain we see is so deep, I just can’t see it as simple as this. Like a child losing his mother to sudden death. It is so hard for them and they are just children. It happens every day and not just to people outside of Christ. I have to quiet myself in Him after just trying to contemplate this. I am digressing again, just thinking out loud.
Back to Dee’s example of the pacifier. Why did J.R get so attached to the pacifier? God created him with the need to suck so that he would eat. It was a gift/talent given to him to sustain his life. When babies lack it they “fail to thrive”. The same reason deer are thirsty. As has already been stated we satisfy these needs with pacifiers and He has to wean us. I wonder if we can really quiet ourselves at this point. We have to trust Him and ride it out until we come through and experience that He is indeed enough. He will not wean us until we are able to eat solid food, but I still do not think this is the only reason for all of the suffering we go through. Hearts are purified in the crucible of pain. Has anyone ever heard the testimony of Darlene Rose?
I’ve never heard of Darlene Rose, but I’ve been doing some internet searching. What an amazing story! I’ve ordered the book from Amazon…along with “The God of all Comfort!” I’m so excited. God is good!
Dear Sisters,
I’ve just arrived at my sister’s home in Austin after being at the authors’ retreat where we didn’t have internet. I’ve been richly blessed as I’ve read through all your good, compassionate, and insightful comments. I see there has been some terrible loss too — LIvingLoved — I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother. And there are fears and regrets. I’m praying for each of you — Claudia, Susan –
and so glad to see new people like dear Allie Jo.
I’m getting ready to speak in some prisons and will be home early next week and will be a more active participant.
I haven’t seen too many answers to 6 and I don’t think any to # 7, so look forward to those.
Appreciate your prayers for the hurting women in the prison. They need the God of All Comfort.
Love to you
Love to you. Thank you Dee, so sweetly comforting during such profound pain.
I pray for the anointing you are carrying to set those captives free. Tell them a group of sisters here love them and and are praying for their true freedom through Christ’s love. May they experience His profound healing love and power that surpasses iron doors. In His Name.
Thank you everyone for your prayers. I am praying for you all also. I’ve been fighting a migraine today. Am thankful God gave me strength to work. I am learning to sing when I’m down and get my focus off myself. Have a blessed weekend.
Dee will be praying for your visit to the prison. Tell my sisters there I am praying for them.
Friday (6):
2 But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
This verse is telling me that I must give up my notions, my desires, and submit totally to God’s will and know that He is sovereign, His ways are perfect and He is in control. As long as I continue to worry about my situation, my soul cannot be stilled and quieted becaue it is the worry from which I am not weaned. I need to pray that the Lord will help me to let this go and leave it with God (for good) so that my soul can find rest. I remember several years ago I had a boss whom I felt did not like me no matter what I did to try to please her. I kept praying for her and there didn’t seem to be any change in the situation. Then I started praying about my attitude and asked God to help me forgive her and love her and it was no time before there was a big difference in our relationship. I know that this probably sounds silly but there have been times that I have thought…maybe I am not praying enough, maybe I am not praying the ‘right’ thing…maybe I am doing something wrong. There are so many scriptures about not worrying and the second verse of Psalm 131 has reiterated that with me.
Kim D,
Thank you for the story about your boss. It is so easy for me to pray for someone else to change and fail to pray that my attitude toward them is just as big an issue. This is a reminder I need right now. You have given me hope that my change of heart will lead to theirs. Pride and judgment often keep us from seeing Truth.
Hi Ladies!
I’ve missed you for a few days, but I’ve just read your most recent posts. It’s so good to see that many of us are on the same path of learning “to let go and let God,” which brings me to the first point I want to share in conjunction with this portion of the study. First, from Thursday’s Question #5 on verse 2: “But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.” One of the scenarios from my life that I keep remembering with this verse was about a lesson I learned during a very vivid and difficult time when my 2-3 year old daughter (our strong-willed child) was rebelling from my authority. As a too young mother (I was only 19 then) I was trying to force her to take a nap against her will. I kept putting her in her crib, only to go down stairs and then very quickly see her running down stairs screaming “I don’t want to take a nap!” By that time - she had figured out how to climb out of her crib and we ended up repeating this scenario several times. I would spank her and put her back in her crib and then walk down stairs, while she was climbing out and running back down stairs behind me screaming. At first I was calm, but after three of four runs of the same scene over and over again, I was beginning to tire and I was really getting mad. The last time, I had spanked her on her diaper nearly all the way back to the top of the stairs while yelling at her, “you will take a nap, whether you want to or not!” Only to have her buck me again… But this time I was becoming frightened of myself. I was quickly about to lose control and I knew that if I didn’t do something different, then I was going to end up beating her (which was my worst fear as I was getting dangerously close and I knew it). We were both screaming and crying by then and all I could think of to do was to hold her tight, next to my bosom until she and I both calmed down. For about twenty minutes or so… I just held her still, and rocked her back and forth until she finally fell asleep.
What I learned about her and myself back then, was that I could not force her to do something that was against her will. But I could love her and hold her close enough for her to relax and then want to do my will when she felt safe, loved and secure. The same is true of us with God. There have been many times throughout my Christian walk when I have felt like my toddler daughter, bucking His will while crying and screaming only to feel His loving arms somehow wrapped around my soul to quiet me down. With the Scripture “Be still and know that I am God…” like Dee with this one, I knew that God was using the power of memory to teach me something about Him. I’ll never forget that experience.
In verse two - as I think about the child that is weaned from its mother, I too thought of the older child (like mine) and realized something very important here, that the verse said “I” have stilled and quited my soul within me. Whenever my daughter was out of control, she didn’t have it in her (because she really wasn’t weaned yet) to calm herself down - she needed my help. But later as she grew older and matured, and learned to trust that I had her best interests in mind she eventually learned how to control herself. What God wants from us to for us to learn how to control ourselves on the basis of knowing that He will always be there to provide for us and take care of us. This is when we can say with King David that “My heart is not proud” because we’ve been humbled by God’s grace.
Question #6: One of the things that the Lord has put His finger on for me during this study is that (also like my daughter) I have been grieving the loss of control over my own life. This is where this verse and these lessons apply to me. But I know and am learning that as He will never leave or forsake me, I can trust Him no matter if He makes me lie down in green pastures or leads me in a direction that I don’t want to go, because it’s okay to not be in control.
Belinda,
Thanks so much for this posting. I appreciate all of what you wrote, and your example of your daughter is so compelling. In your last paragraph for # 5, you wrote “What God wants from us to for us to learn how to control ourselves on the basis of knowing that He will always be there to provide for us and take care of us.” Through this study, I’ve been learning to look back to see God’s faithfulness as He held me close to Himself so that I could calm down.
What a privilege to have His “track record” in Scripture and in my own life as a reminder that by His grace, I can control myself and rest in Him. And when I’m content in Him, I no longer have those same desires that go along with a proud heart or haughty eyes. That is, because my sufficiency is in the Lord, I don’t need to compare myself to others or defend my “turf” in order to prove that I am an acceptable human being! It seems that cycling through these three verses in Psalm 131 by resolving not to be proud, then learning to be content with God’s love and his trustworthiness, and then to hope in the Lord is a key to experiencing verse 1, that “my heart is not proud.” My proud heart gets in the way when I am not thinking about God’s love and faithfulness. So, it’s good news that I’m no longer despairing over/ stuck on v. 1.
Belinda, your comments continue to bless me, thank you Belinda!
Beautiful illustration Belinda, thanks so much.
Belinda
The Lord has used you to remind me that while I am by the still waters everything is in His hands. I wrote down your illustration so I would not forget it.
Each of you is doing so well, and I appreciate you. I want to elaborate on # 7 to help you do it well, for it is important in learning how to lament.
You will need to look at Psalm 130 to see the 1st and 2nd part of the lament.
A. Psalm 130:1-2 is the lament. Put it in your own words, and name your lament — the sorrow over the loss of your brother, your mother, your friendship… your cry over your fears…
For example: LORD — I’M HEADED TO THE PRISONS AND I FEAR THEY MIGHT NOT CONNECT WITH ME. THAT THEY WILL LOOK DOWN. THAT THEY WILL BE TOO HURT TO LISTEN. OH LORD, HEAR MY VOICE! LET YOUR EARS BE ATTENTIVE TO MY CRY
b. Psalm 130:3-8. Here the psalmist remembers the character of God and resolves to trust Him.
For example: LORD — YOU ARE A MERCIFUL GOD WHO HEARS MY CRY — WHO SEES THESE HURTING WOMEN. I WAIT FOR YOU LORD — I HOPE IN YOU LORD — YOU SHALL REDEEM — YOU WILL WORK TODAY IN THE PRISON
c. PSALM 131 CONTINUES WITH THE RESOLVE
For example: LORD, EVEN IF THERE ARE HARD THINGS TODAY THAT DON’T MAKE SENSE TO ME — IF IT DOESN’T GO JUST THE WAY I HOPE — I RESOLVE TO TRUST YOU. I WILL CALM AND QUIET MY SOUL WITH THE TRUTHS I KNOW ABOUT YOU.
I WILL HOPE IN YOU — NO MATTER WHAT.
OKAY — YOUR TURN! EAGER TO READ YOUR PSALM 130/131 LAMENTS
Lord, may these women see You this day, though the vessel of Your servant Dee. Trusting You, dear Lord.
Thank you, Lynn.
Kim D. Thank you, thank you, so blessed me and my family.
Love,
Livingloved.
My heart, my heart, how much can one take?
Oh God! Why have you left me with such pain I feel not even you can touch, you seem so absent, yet so near helping me endure, and you weep with me and feel the pain I feel.
Oh God my brother meant so much to me. I am in agony of soul, crying as I write this, wanting to touch him, feel him. Here is my lament, letter/poem I wrote the second day of our mourning:
Bro
By [Livingloved] copyright© 2010
I want to hear your smile
For when you smile Liberty rings
Liberty… now you know how it sounds
How it feels
How you dance now the dance of freedom
The yearning of your heart are met
As you are now with the One who
Created you!
Now you know what true love is
Tastes like, smells like, feels like
Tell us Joey, Tell us how it sounds like
Dance it Joey, Dance across our hearts
Day in and Day out — Don’t leave us Bro!
I feel like Jesus on the cross, who screamed out,
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” But oh what a lie; it only felt like you left me Bro.
But I feel your rhythm beating with my heart. You can never leave me. You will never leave me. You dance with me, beat after beat with my heart.
I love you so much.
Now I know Love is all that matters in life and in death.
I love you, always and forever Bro,
Your beloved sister, [Livingloved]
(My brother is a choreographer/dancer)
Now, let me add my boast in God alone as I wait for his complete comfort. I will yet praise him for his steadfast love, timing, and purposes. Then I will in turn change the heart of kings and the king’s people, especially those struggling with homosexuality. Lord help me to mend the broken hearts for all are perverted without you. To your glory and honor and fame, forever and ever. Yes!
Beautiful, LivingLoved. Sounds like a wonderful brother.
Thank you very very much. Yes he is so wonderful.
My brother dances better than Michael Jackson. Him and I, unfortunately “came out” to the same perversion at the same time. I was redeemed sooner. My brother made peace with God the day before his passing; he knew he was dying. We were 11 months apart. We are the same age for 2 weeks before its his birthday.
God bless us as we cry.
Hugs to you Dee, I will continue to pray for you and my sisters here. Group hug!
Love,
Livingloved
Livingloved,
Your prayer sentence: “Lord help me to mend the broken hearts for all are perverted without you.” is such wisdom. These words truly come from the Lord. I will pass them on to a dear friend of mine who needs to hear them right now. Thank you.
Friday #6
What instruction can you glean from verse 2 for you in your situation — or for you when you will go through future storms? Can you do this now?
A fretful baby you focus on calming. It is the task at hand and demands attention, no putting off. When I am anxious…I need a plan. My plan is to plan ahead, by being in the Word consistently, preparing for times of trouble. As I am in the Word, my faith and trust does grow and I am drawn closer to Him. But, in life, the unexpected does come up and anxiety rises quickly and then I need to go to the Word again. I think of the Psalmist…Talking to himself…Oh my soul, why are you cast down…put your hope in the Lord. My most effective anxiety relieving verses are Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
And I must remember Who God is and that He is all powerful and all loving and all trustworthy,,,even if I am in a hard place.
Isaiah 41:10 (NASB)
10 ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’
I love those two surleys!
I remember that Jesus, in this world, did not have an easy life. Ease is for the next life, this life is training and it is hard. We live in a fallen world with fallen people and I am one of them. I like the fact that we are told to still and quiet our souls. We need to do the right things, not choose worldly fixes. The Lord has promised so many precious truths…I must believe Him.
I’m very thankful for the prayers and I will not always be able to reply as I am doing 2 other studies as well…
Yes I am still grieving and probably well for the rest of my life…
Dear God why is my mama gone??? I miss her and oh how I need her words of wisdom now with my daughter going through a tough time. She would bring me the comfort I sooo need right now. So Lord it is Your comfort and love I need at this time. Give me peace and help me to trust that You love her more than I do and will bring her complete healing.
I have learned through this week that it’s not about me…what others think, the mistakes I made, etc…no it’s about my daughter’s life and her choosing to get better and live life to its fullest…glorifying God and living for Him.
Lord, I am going to the jail on Wednesday to visit my son one last time before he is sent to at least five years in prison. It is really going to happen and I fear I will not be able to keep my cheerful, confident face as I spend this time with him. I am worried that I will cry and make him more depressed. My strength gives him strength. Please, Lord, hear my cry. Please help me be strong one more time.
Lord, you calm storms, you still the raging waters. You know my heart and You know his. You lead us beside the still waters. You restore peace to our souls. You are Strength. You are Hope. You are Joy. You will redeem and protect my son and You will heal my broken heart.
Though I don’t understand how this has happened and why the sentence is so severe I put my trust in You. Your presence will wrap me in joy demonstrating my hope in You. My hope is in You - really - now - always.
Praying for you Janet H. !
Oh, man … so sorry Janet. H. God! my heart breaks for my sister, I pray my sister will sense your strength as she relies on you. Oh God turn the heart of this son-king. Let the love of God cover wrong doings. Peace in the storm I pray.
Thank you for your comment.
You are in my prayers.
Love,
Livingloved
OH LORD! I ACHE OVER THE BROKEN FELLOWSHIP AMONG MY FAMILY MEMBERS.
I FEAR THE WALL OF BITTERNESS WILL NEVER BE TORN DOWN.
LORD–HEALER OF MY SOUL DISEASES–NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU.
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO RESTORES.
LORD–EVEN IF THE I ONE LOVE DOES NOT TEAR DOWN THE WALL, I
WILL KEEP REACHING OUT AS YOU DIRECT. I RESOLVE TO
FOLLOW YOUR GUIDANCE. I WILL STILL MY SOUL WITH YOUR
WISDOM.
I WILL CLING TO YOUR TRUTH–ALWAYS.
#6.
Thank you Belinda for catching that in verse 2, the “I” have stilled and quieted my soul. Another translation says “Surely I have composed and quieted my soul”.
I have learned from working through this lesson that I must make a decision, based on what I know about God, to still, to compose, my soul, and like a weaned child, rest myself upon my Rock.