WHY WE CAN’T “JUST SAY NO”
I do not do what I want to do,
but I do the very thing I hate.
Romans 7:15
“I CAIN’T SAY NO”
Ado Annie in Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Oklahoma
Ado Annie was the saucy gal in Rodgers and Hammerstein’s “Oklahoma” whose signature song was “I Cain’t Say No.” She flounced her petticoats and flirted shamelessly with every man in pants. She explained to her disapproving friend Laurie that it wasn’t so much a question of knowing what she should do, for she knew she shouldn’t let them kiss and paw her, but it was just that she somehow wanted them to! Ado Annie was not in denial, she had simply surrendered. Like the cry of so many caught in the claws of addiction, she was saying, “This is who I am – I am the girl who cain’t say no!” She was like the Israelites in Jeremiah 2 who cried, “It’s no use!” The attraction is too strong! I can’t do it.
Of course this brings into question all the programs that tell young people to just say no – to just say no to drugs, to alcohol, and to sex outside of marriage. Are these programs without value?
THE LIMITED VALUE OF THE SECULAR APPROACH
This is the approach the secular world uses, for it is all they have – and it is not devoid of value. By making people aware of the painful consequences of their unwise choices, and the positive consequences of wise choices, it may help them to restrain themselves. If they have personally tasted the pain, they may be more open to denying themselves.
In a secular sexual abstinence program, students are told that sex outside of marriage results in disease, broken hearts, and unwanted pregnancies. A secular diet program will tell dieters that poor eating habits will result in a lack of energy, a lack of health, and a lack of enjoyment in life. A secular college ethics class will tell business students that lying and cheating to get money may land them in jail or may hurt their reputation and result in a loss of return clients. These lists of true and painful consequences may help a person restrain his self-destructive behavior.
However, there is an enormous problem when this is the only approach to changing behavior. The “law,” or the rule we recite to ourselves, can actually boomerang and increase our tendency toward lustful behaviors. Kids may go home from sex education classes with new sexual awakenings. I’ve gone home from a Weight Watchers meeting determined to try the recipe for the Weight Watchers brownies and ended up eating half the pan.
THE LAW CAN INSPIRE SINFUL THOUGHTS
Hearing “the law” may actually increase the likelihood that we will sin. First, it may introduce a temptation into our minds.
I received a small blue Schwinn bike for my sixth birthday. Dad taught me to ride – first with training wheels, and then by running along beside me, laughing along with his euphoric daughter. I pedaled proudly all the way down the block and back, a bit wobbly, but staying erect.
Two weeks later my parents were departing for a long-anticipated two-week vacation to Acapulco, Mexico. As they left me and my older sisters in the care of white-haired Mrs. Hahn, my dad turned and cupped my face in his hands. “Be careful on your new bike, Dee Dee.” I nodded solemnly. Then, as an afterthought, he said, “Don’t take your bike up to Summit Hill (the street behind our house).” Immediately I thought: Why, I would absolutely fly going down that hill.
I was distracted in my first grade class the next day, for I kept thinking of how exciting it would be to fly down Summit Hill. As soon as I got home, I told Mrs. Hahn I was going out to ride my bike, and walked my bike to the top of Summit Hill. I had a moment of fear surveying the steep incline, and a brief warning flash of my father’s commandment, but still, I didn’t want to miss the thrill. So I jumped on, barreled down, didn’t make the turn, and plowed into a tree in Rolf’s yard. I vaguely remember adults yelling, sirens wailing, someone lifting me onto something hard, and finally awaking in enormous pain in a hospital bed. My parents were called and though they had just unpacked, they re-packed, left their hotel on the beach, and returned on the next plane back. (There were only propeller planes for the public then – and it was a long trip from Acapulco to West Bend, Wisconsin.) I was afraid Dad would be fiercely angry, but I was such a sorry sight that he simply cradled me and wept.
The law can inspire us to do wrong.
But the “law” itself is not wrong. Dad was right when he told me to be careful on my bike and forbade me from riding down Summit Hill. And the commandments of our heavenly Father are true and righteous altogether. Each one will protect us, guide us, and lead us into a flourishing life.
So what was wrong?
ICE-BREAKER:
1. Secular programs and all the world religions except Christianity offer half the solution — just say no to immoral/hurtful behavior. This is not without value.
A. Give an example of how hearing about painful consequences, perhaps in the secular world, has, indeed, helped you to restrain yourself from a particular behavior.
B. Give an example of how hearing a rule or a “law” has actually boomeranged and inspired sinful thoughts that gave birth to sinful actions.
2. Listen to one of these three sermons and report.
Last week I gave an assignment as “Extra Credit” to listen to this sermon by Tim Keller on Jeremiah 2. Anne pointed out it was free, which I hadn’t realized! Therefore, I’m giving you the link again. Listen, if you didn’t, and share a few of the things you learned. http://sermons.redeemer.com/store/index.cfm?fuseaction=product.display&product_ID=17304&ParentCat=6
If you are new to us and haven’t heard the basic sermon on idolatry: here’s that link. http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/removing-idols-heart
If you have listened to both, listen to this and report: http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/christ-our-life
ALL THE ABOVE SERMONS ARE FREE!
OUR OWN DEAR REBECCA HAS MADE A VIDEO FOR US SUMMING UP THE HEART OF THIS STUDY — HOW WE CAN’T JUST REMOVE OUR IDOLS, BUT MUST ARISE AND GO TO JESUS — IN HIS ARMS ARE TEN THOUSAND CHARMS. THIS WOULD BE A GREAT WAY FOR YOU TO OPEN YOUR HEART TO HIM IN CONTEMPLATION. HERE IS THE LINK:
Bible Study
3. Read James 1:13-15 carefully.
A. Who is not to blame when we are tempted, according to verse 13?
B. What is to blame?
The phrase “our own desires” is another way to identify idols of the heart.
DESIRE (epithumia)
The KJV translates this noun, “desire,” as “lust.” The Greek word is epithumia, which sounds like an epi-disease, a terrible plague, and that is a helpful word association, for our “over-desires” can destroy us. It is not wrong to desire food, sex, money, fun, or friendship – but when it becomes an “over-desire,” more important to you than anything else, it destroys your soul like AIDS or Cholera destroys your body. This epi-desire, this idolatrous longing, reaches out from within your soul, and lures you into temptation and away from your one True Lover. It is easily seduced by lies in order to get what it really wants. We take a good gift and make it an ultimate gift, thereby ignoring the warnings to keep it within God-given boundaries.
We have a desire for comfort, control, affirmation — a desire that is bigger at times than our desire for God — so that lures us away from God.
4. To help you see your epi-desires, answer both of these:
A. What do you think you must have for life to be meaningful and fulfilling?
B. What, if you lost it, do you think might make you not want to live?
Then James uses a Greek word from which the fishing word “lure” comes to explain the power of our idols over us.
But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.
James 1:14
Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Biblical Words explains:
As in…fishing the game is “lured” from its haunt, so man’s lust “allures” him from the safety of self-restraint
5. Give an example of how your idol, your own deceitful desires, has lured you away from the safety of God. Be specific.
BEING ALERT IS HALF THE BATTLE
Fishermen have discovered the best bait is that which really looks like something fish would eat in the water. This lure in the picture to the left actually swims. Would a fish swim toward the lure even if he knew it would destroy him? Would we swim to a lure even if we knew it would destroy us? (We might, as we have learned in Jeremiah 2, for our idols drive us as strongly as a sexual attraction.) But we might not — opening our eyes to the fact that our idols are not good but are lures to our destruction might actually stop us.
6. Share a time during this study when realizing that your idol was a destructive desire helped you turn around and swim the other way.
CHRISTIANITY OFFERS YOU ANOTHER SOLUTION
7. I want you to read a famous essay. It is Thomas Chalmers: The Expulsive Power of a New Affection. We’re going to spend two weeks on it. This week print it off and give it a first reading. Underline as you read. Share one or two thoughts from it here. Here is the link.
http://www.vorthosforum.com/export/Articles/The%20Expulsive%20Power%20of%20a%20New%20Affection.pdf
7. Remember to report on your sermon — what do you remember?
8. What is this week’s take-a-way?
MEETING OUR BLOGGERS!
This week we will me Angela! Angela is another blogger I’ve had the privilege to meet. A friend told me about her, that she was a dynamic young woman who had a real heart for the Lord and ministry — and that she wanted to meet me. When I was speaking in Chattanooga, she was able to join the committee at dinner, which was great. There were a lot of people and voices, but still, I could see something special and unique about Angela. Since she has joined us on our blog (and I’m so glad) she has offered wisdom, some great internet resources, and has encouraged us in so many ways. I have discovered that Angela is an author and a speaker. I looked at her blog and found so many great things — including wonderful book recommendations. Please check her out!
From Angela Parsley
I love my family. I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 16 years and we have two
beautiful daughters, 7 and 9 years of age. I am blessed to get to stay home and homeschool them.
I love women’s ministry from girls to older women) and am passionate about people knowing
God’s word and living life the way God intended especially in times of trial. Much of my ministry
to others is encouraging them online or in person. I love speaking to large groups of women but
what I love best is meeting one on one with them over coffee. To serve this desire my husband
and I founded Refresh My Soul Ministries where we work to encourage others through speaking,
writing, and helping online or in person. It can be found at http://www.refreshmysoulblog.blogspot.com
or http://www.refreshmysoul.com.
I’m adding this picture of Angela from her blog!
I have been really blessed by this study on idolatry. When I first started it I was at a place in my
life of great drought. I have a daughter with special needs that is an invisible illness so it is not
apparent to others. I struggled much with needing others approval. My thought life was really out
of control. I wanted people to think I was a good mom. As we went through the study I realized
that all that matters is God’s approval. Am I disciplining and training her in the instruction of the
Lord? Then I am being obedient. I need to let go of the rest and watch God work in His timing not
mine. It does not matter what it looks like to others. God’s approval is all I need.
9. Please take a look at Angela’s blog, some of her past comments in this blog, and encourage her!
This made me smile because I am SO MUCH the same way: “I’ve gone home from a Weight Watchers meeting determined to try the recipe for the Weight Watchers brownies and ended up eating half the pan.” ;-) I also loved the bike illustration. This looks like another awesome week of new things God will show us!
Angela, You have a beautiful family! I remembered your sweet comment last week that you wished we could get together and have coffee sometime while our kids played..I couldn’t find it when I clicked the link to respond..At least I don’t think I have responded..I am getting old and forgetful. ;-) But yes it WOULD be awesome if we lived closer and could get together. There is nothing sweeter than meeting face to face with a sister and being encouraged in the Lord together. I will go to your blog soon and check it out! Oh and I loved what you wrote above.
Thanks Rebecca! Maybe sometime we there could be a special blogger meet up and Bible study or something…Hmmm. Something to think about. :) You have encouraged me so much especially since I know you understand this journey with special needs. God is moving so much and I am so thankful.
1a.This part is really funny now but I dreamed of being in the secret service one day. So I abstained from everything the world said no too that would prevent me from being admitted. So it was good but again not addressing the heart issues at all. Sure I didn’t do drugs but the motivation was PRIDE. Just as bad. It is funny to think of now.
1b.Oh man yes! I have too eaten way too much after doing weight watcher things. Or following the “rules” eating all the bad I could get away with that fell within the guidelines. It was less food but I still got to eat it and be within those “rules”. Twisted thinking. Not even to the heart of the problem. Sets me up for failure every time.
I just listened to the 3rd sermon and it too was awesome. Dee, thank you for putting these in order. The upshot of the whole thing was there. I will not share it because I think we all need to have order to our revelations. Thanks and praise to only You Lord Jesus.
‘I know not how to express otherwise…
The appearance of everything was altered; there seemed to be, as it were, a calm, sweet, cast, or appearance of divine glory, in almost everything.
God’s excellency, his wisdom, his purity and love, seemed to appear in every thing;
in the sun, moon, and stars; in the clouds and blue sky; in the grass, flowers, trees; in the water, and all nature; which used greatly to fix my mind.
I often used to sit and view the moon for a long time; and in the day, spent much time in viewing the clouds and sky, to behold the sweet glory of God in these things:
In the meantime, singing forth, with a low voice, my contemplations of the Creator and Redeemer. . .”
~Jonathan Edwards on Beauty
ICE-BREAKER:
1. Secular programs and all the world religions except Christianity offer half the solution — just say no to immoral/hurtful behavior. This is not without value.
A. Give an example of how hearing about painful consequences, perhaps in the secular world, has, indeed, helped you to restrain yourself from a particular behavior.
I grew up in the teeth of the drug culture. It was all around me and my parents had no clue, so they never warned me. There was a kid in my neighborhood that was addicted to heroin and one day I was in a car with him and some other kids. He was stressed about getting his drugs and he told me not to ever take heroin. I never forgot it and I never did it. Drugs have never been a temptation for me which is really good in my profession. I think it was seeing his anguish that frightened me from ever doing it.
B. Give an example of how hearing a rule or a “law” has actually boomeranged and inspired sinful thoughts that gave birth to sinful actions.
I knew I was not supposed to smoke, drink or have sex and I did all of those things. I don’t remember my thought process but I know I was an emotionally needy kid and I guess I thought if you weren’t supposed to do them they must be satisfying. I was also in the wrong crowd which was another result of my neediness.
Will share #2 later.
It is so funny that those are your 2 things because they are what I was thinking of. I had heard many times about people who did heroin once and were hooked and the fear of that kept me from trying it. Yet I started smoking and drinking as a pre-teen and the more people told me that I was too young to be doing that and how I was going to regret it the more I wanted to do it!
Great to read your thoughts. It may be a bit quiet this Memorial Day Weekend — so it is nice you are on and sharing.
We had a household mishap earlier this week and because of it I found a copy of The Pursuit of God by Tozer. I tried to read it 10 or more years ago and simply could not keep my mind on it. I felt sure that since it was suddenly in my possession I should now read it. I am pretty much riveted. It is all about idolatry but without using the word. I’m only in the 3rd chapter but am curious to see how he suggests handling it. He says that relational idolatry was the reason God called Abraham to sacrifice Isaac.
Anne, I have that book too. I also tried reading it about a year ago and Tozer is so intellectual, I had trouble focusing on it too. Maybe I should dust-off my copy also. I once heard Chip Ingram say that that book changed his life.
Susan, he is so very intellectual, he reminds me a lot of C.S. Lewis who I have never been able to read either. I came to a place this morning where I just told the Lord I did not understand. He encouraged me to read it again and I did grasp it a little better. But there is much in there that relates to our study. I find myself underlining everything. If I am not underlining, I am not understanding.
This is so good. Often we should go back to these books as we mature in our faith. I like your comment: “If I am not underlining, I am not understanding.”
Intriguingly, I have been in it this month too!
Dee I am really glad you are in it also for I did feel drawn to it. I look forward to what you glean from it.
Anne, I read that book a long time ago..You are making me want to pick it up again. I wonder if I will see it with new eyes..
I too have this book. I borrowed a copy years ago and have wanted my own ever since. A couple of months ago I found it at our local used book store for a quarter. Another example of how God’s Spirit moves among us.
ICE-BREAKER:
1. Secular programs and all the world religions except Christianity offer half the solution — just say no to immoral/hurtful behavior. This is not without value.
A. Give an example of how hearing about painful consequences, perhaps in the secular world, has, indeed, helped you to restrain yourself from a particular behavior.
When I was sixteen, a classmate got pregnant. Seeing all of her misery convinced me that sex outside of marriage was something God restricts us from to help us instead of restricting our supposed fun.
B. Give an example of how hearing a rule or a “law” has actually boomeranged and inspired sinful thoughts that gave birth to sinful actions.
Food! I’ve had experiences much like what Dee shared about low cal brownies. Except I’ve eaten the WHOLE pan. I don’t do that anymore because Christ has helped me get that idolmunder control. Anymore I tend to go too far the other direction.
2. Listen to one of these three sermons and report.
2. I heard sermon #3. I will just paste in my notes I took on my iPod while listening. Hope they make sense to others besides myself!
Sermon notes: I have been one of those moral people who mainly did what I did out of fear and trying to control God.
Changes. Upon knowing Christ I did want to please Him. How thankful i am for His grace and conversion! We will all be converted by something.
Idolatry source of all problems and is making a good thing an ultimate thing.
Your heart will adore something. It will be your life. All change superficial and temporary unless you get rid of idols.
What things if you lost them could make you not want to live?
Functional savior gives meaning.
Follow inordinate desire 2 source. You are paralyzed if an ultimate thing is blocked. Bitter, rage, malice.
Find idol. Then what? Christ is your life. Set mind on things above.
Idols need 2 B replaced, not removed. Willpower not enough.
Set mind AND heart. Rivets and captures heart to get thru to mind. You died & were raised with Christ. Set mind on truth– when you believe in Jesus you’re in Christ. God sees you as free from guilt as if you had died on cross, been raised with Christ too. Means honored. Delighted in by God like He does Christ. God gives us perfect record. Know & set heart upon it. We are Christ’s whole life bc He died for us. Like Sculptor who would throw self in front of what would threaten his art. Dwell on this!
Gospel frees you to live happy, self sacrificing life. Christ bent laws of time and space to save us. Spousal love.
Great notes, Tracy! I’m encouraged at how several of you have already listened to the sermon.
ICE BREAKER
1. A. Give an example of how hearing about painful consequences, perhaps in the secular world, has, indeed, helped you to restrain yourself from a particular behavior.
I had always heard about drugs and the consequences of addiction and also that some drugs, like cocaine, you could try it once and die from a heart arrhythmia. I was dating a young man and we went to a gathering at a couple’s home who were friends of his. They had young children, and after putting them to bed, there were several couples there and we sat around a table to play cards. The parent-couple passed around a little box and everyone was taking some – I didn’t realize until it came to me that it was cocaine. I said no thanks. I also thought how stupid these “parents” were because they were doing cocaine and they were responsible for their young children.
B. Give an example of how hearing a rule or a “law” has actually boomeranged and inspired sinful thoughts that gave birth to sinful actions.
We lived around woods and everytime I went outside to play my mom would say “Stay out of those woods”. I knew the dangers of going alone but I’d say “okay” and make a beeline for the woods.
As a college-aged young woman, I knew what my parents didn’t approve of but I read Cosmopolitan magazine and the “Cosmo Woman” seemed exciting and in charge of her life and so I tried to be that young woman. That involved alot of sneaking around and lying.
Your last paragraph resonates — especially in these times. I remember Karen Mains talking about keeping false teachers from coming into our homes as it says in the letters of John — and how people apply that to the once a year Jehovah’s Witness or Mormon (and take pride in being rude to them) and not to the false teaching of the mass media that comes in every day…
1. A. Give an example of how hearing about painful consequences, perhaps in the secular world, has, indeed, helped you to restrain yourself from a particular behavior.
I think way back when I was traveling in bands I had a commitment not to drink and do drugs because I saw how it ruined other artists’ voices and lives, so I restrained for many years.
1 B. Give an example of how hearing a rule or a “law” has actually boomeranged and inspired sinful thoughts that gave birth to sinful actions.
My second oldest brother used to tell me NOT to drive his car. I had a history of driving cars and bringing them back with dings on them. ;-) I would back up in a parking lot, not look behind me the whole time and ram into the car behind me. In my mind that was how I knew I backed up far enough.
One night I was told NOT, absolutely NOT to drive his car while he was gone over the weekend. He even told my mom not to let me, but I talked her out of it. So, I drove it and brought it home with the side mirror gone and a dent in the door.
I left it in the parking lot. (My mom was a single mom and my two older brothers and I lived with her in an apartment). I think if I recall this was the time I side swiped a tree. The last time, I ran into the side of a bridge with his car because I was turning up a song I liked real loud and wasn’t paying attention when I turned the corner-I kept turning. The front hood was bent and kept flying up in the air when I tried to drive it to the lake. OH my..my poor brother. ;-)
I think this rule was a justified rule he set now that I think about it.
Anyway, I lied and told mom that I didn’t wreck it, but that someone must have hit it in the parking lot..Mom believed me, but my brother didn’t when he came home. I am sure my mom gave me consequences but I can’t remember what they were and yes my brother was steaming mad.
Just got done listening to the last sermon.
O.K. I have to ask..WHY haven’t I heard this taught this way before? I have heard “you died and are raised up with Christ” over and over again, and understood it, and I was the one who went from thinking one way to being radically changed the very day I came to know Jesus..My thinking was turned 180 degrees but the growth process had just started.
The thing I missed for the past 23 years was how God sees me..When Keller said: “God sees me as dying and being raised like Jesus..He sees me like He sees Jesus..God delights in me as He does His own Son..I am raised and seated with Him.” -It seared my heart yet made it literally flip over..So often we are taught merely that after we get saved, here is what it means, you have died with christ were buried with him and rose again to new life, then we focus on learning to memorize, on the ‘doing’ and ‘obeying’ and to watch out for Satan’s lies..All of this is good, but I missed being taught on how God sees us, on the fact that He tells us not to have idols..That I CAN have idol problems and CAN embrace Evil Desires toward good things.
The other thing that REALLY ministered to me was what that girl discovered in counseling and shared with him. How she came to the realization that marriage, or a job or anything in life isn’t “her life”..Jesus Christ is “Her life” so if she never gets married, never has children etc..that is o.k. if she does, but she had to tell the men she met that she would be interested in marriage but they won’t be “her life”, Jesus CHrist will be. I have to admit when I was single, I was struggling with “evil desires”..wanting a good thing like Marriage and children so much it became the ultimate thing in my life. I didn’t know it though..Now I look back and see I was like that. The first five years as a believer I wasn’t like that, but slowly as my idols took a hold of me and unknowingly I became that way.
Jesus is the only savior who will truly satisfy..Nothing else can be “Our lives” or become “Our identity”. or give us “our worth”.
I also LOVED how he pointed to going back into the story of what Jesus did for us. Jesus died for us, we are his life-when you see yourself as part of the story it will change your life..Think about his generosity at the cross, that is how you become generous..Then Keller went to Paul in Ephesians and how Paul was telling men to be faithful to their wives..then Paul explained how Jesus was faithful to us on the cross. Jesus could have left but stayed with it. He said when we see this it frees us to live a self sacrificial life.
I love your “how come I haven’t been taught this before?”
Isn’t it amazing how in our depravity we can twist the Gospel to being just getting in but not the whole story?
I agree with this, and Keller does too, for this illustration crops up again and again in his messages:
The other thing that REALLY ministered to me was what that girl discovered in counseling and shared with him. How she came to the realization that marriage, or a job or anything in life isn’t “her life”..Jesus Christ is “Her life” so if she never gets married, never has children etc..that is o.k. if she does, but she had to tell the men she met that she would be interested in marriage but they won’t be “her life”, Jesus CHrist will be. I have to admit when I was single, I was struggling with “evil desires”..wanting a good thing like Marriage and children so much it became the ultimate thing in my life. I didn’t know it though..Now I look back and see I was like that. The first five years as a believer I wasn’t like that, but slowly as my idols took a hold of me and unknowingly I became that way.
Dee, yes..It is amazing..It is the whole story..It IS! I am just seeing this and especially so after this sermon. This sermon nails that truth.
I have to change something I said..The first five years as a believer I did have idol issues..I didn’t want to make it sound like they came out of no where after five years. ;-)
Oh and one thing I have heard a lot in the past is “when God sees me he sees Jesus”..That was it though. It stopped there. It was almost a harsh kind of way of explaining it..There was nothing about Him delighting in me as He does Jesus. There was nothing about God’s emotions either. I would ask, doesn’t God see me too? Doesn’t he love me? Didn’t he make emotions? Didn’t he make us in His image? I know He doesn’t want us to let our emotions guide us but they are there for a reason..for many reasons in fact as I am learning..One of them is to identify with God and HIs emotions but another way is as Keller is teaching, they give us red flags as to what is going on in our hearts..They can lead us to our idol problems.
O.K. I have talked too much! Sorry, but God is working this out in my heart and it helps to type it out and share it with you and be encouraged by you in this process as well. :-)
Keep processing..it helps us all
Rebecca, you definitely have not talked too much. This is what we love to discuss. We are working out our salvation with fear and trembling. I feel that I have learned more, grown more and been lead by the Spirit more here in the last year than in the prior 25 in church. I would love for you to read Tozer again because I would love to hear your thoughts. Susan too.
Anne, me too!! I am with you on this: “I feel that I have learned more, grown more and been lead by the Spirit more here in the last year than in the prior 25 in church.”
QUESTION — i’M WRITING THIS MORNING.
I’M DEBATING ABOUT USING THE ADO ANNIE ILLUSTRATION — HONESTLY, DID IT RESONATE WITH YOU OR NOT? iF NOT OR IF SO, WHY?
Dee, I think she is a great illustration of the point but you will have to explain as you did for us because it may only be our generation who has seen the movie.
Dee, IT DID resonate with me. I know all of the Oklahoma songs by memory..I used to sing and act them out at my grandmas and this one was my favorite.
I agree with Anne that you should explain it as you did so that if anyone hasn’t seen it they will understand. I liked when you pointed out how she said she knew it was wrong and she shouldn’t let them but she did AND she liked it. That REALLY resonated with me.
I think it’s very fitting!
Dee, I liked the Ado Annie illustration too, but like Anne, the younger set may not relate as well as us older ones, that remember the movie. I’ve been trying to think of a recent movie, that has the same point of, “I can’t say no.”! I know there has to be alot of movies like that, especially about lover’s that can’t say no to each other, no matter how hard they try. It’s like the camel trail!
I’m listening to the sermon’s…they are wonderful!
I can’t remember if I shared here that I sang in a rather large choir in 2006-7. I began to go on a lark of sorts. Because the choir was large and the leader said we did not have to be able to sing really well. His main objective was that we lead worship.
We sang for 2 services and sometimes 3 on Sunday morning and I was amazed that it did not tire me at all. It energized me. After the first Christmas program I realized that I had never done anything that I enjoyed as much. In the fall of 2007 I did not go back because I knew that I would be having a large surgery and after that it never worked for me to go back.
So I wonder, what was it that touched my heart so? I don’t think it was singing. It was the worship. The being in the middle of all of those truly worshiping hearts.
When I listened to this 3rd sermon I heard him say that the solution to idolatry is worship and it was like a bell went off in my head. OF COURSE, I thought, and it all came together for me. Ann Voskamp’s book, my desire to sit at Jesus feet and my choir experience all came together. At the end of one of the other sermons he quoted from our song ‘in the arms of my dear Savior, Oh there are 10,000 charms’ and said go and learn what that means. That is my desire and with His help I am going.
Anne, I loved this: “When I listened to this 3rd sermon I heard him say that the solution to idolatry is worship and it was like a bell went off in my head. OF COURSE, I thought, and it all came together for me. Ann Voskamp’s book, my desire to sit at Jesus feet and my choir experience all came together. At the end of one of the other sermons he quoted from our song ‘in the arms of my dear Savior, Oh there are 10,000 charms’ and said go and learn what that means. That is my desire and with His help I am going.”
Isn’t it beautiful when God puts the pieces together..how he has drawn you to this point? Amazing Anne!! You know, I recall the lady who was in counseling also came to her realization that nothing could be ‘her life’ only Jesus could be ‘her life’ WHILE SHE WAS WORSHIPPING..Keller stressed that point.
I looked up what ten thousand charms means…There were varying opinions on what it means..I could be wrong but I think I have narrowed it down to meaning finding our total satisfaction in Him and nothing else. He is the ‘ultimate’ in our life..He is ‘our life’. BUT do help me if I am not seeing the whole picture here..I am sure I may not be..
KNOWING that and having it sink into my heart are two different things, so I am excitedly looking forward to seeing how God works this out in my life from here on out..I want to chew on this for a while though..I have a lot going on today with my son’s birthday and our plans and I don’t want to get sidetracked from this..I want this to sink in so we will pray for one another today. :-)
OH.. I have to say this then I NEED to get off. :-)
That picture of that painting in the video of the girl in white resting in Jesus arms..I can’t get that out of my mind for some reason..Did you see her face? She looked as if she had found total satisfaction and rest in His arms..Perhaps that is a picture of her experiencing his ‘ten thousand charms?’
WOW! I listened finally to Jeremiah sermon…SO good. Took so many notes. It is exactly what Refresh My Soul Ministries is trying to accomplish. I cannot put it to words as eloquently as he did…But wow! Our soul…must be satisfied with Christ alone He is the only thing that can satisfy!! LOVE how he worded all of this and it did affirm our ministry and outreach.
OH and the response we have to things…I loved his ex of 4 people at a table with wine. One is an alchoholic…How do you tell? Take the wine away and watch the response. So very good. Helpful for me. It all was so good. It was life changing…Would love to discuss it for hours with someone. Wish we all could… :)
3. Read James 1:13-15 carefully.
A. Who is not to blame when we are tempted, according to verse 13?
God
B. What is to blame?
Our own evil desires
The phrase “our own desires” is another way to identify idols of the heart. Wow that is good!
About using your example…I really did like it but yes I agree with those above…Need to explain it.
4. To help you see your epi-desires, answer both of these:
A. What do you think you must have for life to be meaningful and fulfilling?wow! I honestly am not sure…I think there is nothing. I need Jesus but other than that not sure. Praying this through.
B. What, if you lost it, do you think might make you not want to live? I cannot identify anything right now here. I feel freer and lighter. Praying through this though…There prob is something…
5. Give an example of how your idol, your own deceitful desires, has lured you away from the safety of God. Be specific. Well when I was having to have control of my family and their actions I would look on them with contempt and desire a better family. That is dangerous. I was not submission in heart to my husband and providing a bad example to my children. It is a cycle.
6-I realized I did not want anything to have power over me but Christ. He changed my thinking through it. I was feeling all those warning type feelings but not understanding what was going wrong. I knew it was within the heart but could not identify it.
3. God is not to blame when we are tempted. We are tempted when our evil desires draw us away from God. I like the idea that we are not tempted until we are drawn away. While we are with Him, He satisfies us.
4A. What do you think you must have for life to be meaningful and fulfilling? There are basic needs like food, shelter and sleep that I trust God to supply for me, but if one of them is threatened I get pretty anxious. I know I have a comfort idol and we are working on that. The biggie for me is approval. It is huge and I am still succumbing to it. I caught myself the other day slipping back into it. What needs closer examination for me is the desire for my sons to be saved. I seriously doubt I could be happy in eternity knowing one of them were in hell. Even though God has given me assurance about them both (3 really for I lost one) I am ill at ease about them. This is a thing I should be concerned about but as we look at over-desires, I wonder.
B. What, if you lost it, do you think might make you not want to live? Maybe if I were homeless on the street (comfort). Many times when there is turmoil in my family and one of my immediate family is angry (approval) I will catch myself asking the Lord to just take me home, but I am getting out of that habit by talking to myself with my head and not my heart. What I must understand is that even if the Lord allowed these things to happen in my life, He can still take care of me.
Anne what you said in b got me thinking…I do ask the Lord to take me home often. I must pay attention to the reasons and situations that I do this so it will help me see the answer to this question.
Angela, thanks for sharing that you feel that way too sometimes. I was a little hesitant to share it. Something that I read recently and can’t remember where brought home to me that we don’t have to wait for the kingdom of God until after we die, He wants us to experience the kingdom right here and now, and it is possible. That is the track we are on.
Yes, I need this reminder too Anne. My longing for Heaven at times is of course because I long to be with Him, in His safe arms…but if that is truly my heart, then I am called to do that here, now…live out that Love. The reality is when I often cry out to “go Home” it is my comfort idol–I want freedom from the pain and struggles here. Such good wisdom, thank you!
Thank you all for sharing! I had not heard anyone verbalize this before. I struggle with this, too!
Me, too. I had a bible study leader when discussing death say that none of us really wants to die. I thought that’s funny, I do. Not in a bad way, but in a longing for heaven way. Why would anyone want to stay in this world of sin when heaven is waiting for us. The reality that it is a comfort idol and wanting freedom from the pain and struggles here is very eye opening for me.
My heart too resonates with this Anne! Thanks for your thoughtful ponderings.
5. Give an example of how your idol, your own deceitful desires, has lured you away from the safety of God. Be specific.
There was a conversation at work about something (can’t remember what) that just did not light my fire. Rather than saying so and explaining that Jesus meets that need for me, I just didn’t say anything and later regretted it. I am so bad at expressing myself verbally that sometimes I just seem weird and I was afraid it would turn out that way. Maybe I did not need to speak but it was what was going on in my heart that bothered me. If I remembered His love I would not have cared about their approval.
Lord, thank You so much for the dream You gave me about Your love for me. Please help me to remember it and keep it before me always. In Your arms I am beloved and safe.
A. Give an example of how hearing about painful consequences, perhaps in the secular world, has, indeed, helped you to restrain yourself from a particular behavior.
At the age of eight, I visited my grandmother every week. She was a darling little deaf lady who lived alone in our town. She adored me and I her. She was a believer and loved Jesus. She had a soap opera she watched every day. She was not suppose to let me watch but I begged her and she gave in. It was our little secret. I watched the storyline of the wreaked life of an alcoholic woman named Kay and it made a deep impression on me to never drink alcohol. When I was a teen I told my friends I was allergic to avoid peer pressure. To this day I have no desire to drink.
B. Give an example of how hearing a rule or a “law” has actually boomeranged and inspired sinful thoughts that gave birth to sinful actions.
My parents wouldn’t allow us to watch The Dating Game or M.A.S.H. so when I had a chance I watched these shows. Partly because my parents didn’t explain why not and I was curious.
1. The fear of my parents’ disapproval kept me from sexual intimacy with my high school boyfriend. I would also say watching my father suffer from alcoholism led to my abstaining completely from alcohol.
B. My 8th grade teacher warned us not to use cliff notes on our final report saying he would know…I did anyway. Unfortunately, I got an A and ended up with the largest library of Cliff Notes of anyone I knew.
2. I had heard the 3rd one a while back, but it was so good to hear in light of all we have learned.
A few notes-
(1. Our heart must have something/someone to adore—it is not possible to not adore something. We are all converted by someone or something.
(2.Evil desires= epi/over/excessive desire for something good; addictions
(3.Idolatry= taking a good thing and making it an ultimate
(4.How do we know what we have made idols? “If I lost (—–) I wouldn’t want to live.”
(5.Idols cannot be removed, only replaced.
(6. WE are Christ’s life—WE are His sculptures worth dying for
3. A. God—He cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone.
B. My own evil desires—my idols—my good things I have made ultimate. Death, separation from God, begins with the seed of something good that I have made ultimate. I have decided I cannot live without it. This epi-desire leads to obsession and doing whatever it takes, including sin, in order to have my desire fulfilled.
At the end of the first sermon Dr. Keller prays for the believing community that has never heard this understanding of Christianity before. This is the first time I have got it down in my spirit that when we believe on Him, His beautiful record is put upon us. Instead I’ve only heard the do’s and don’ts of the Gospel. I’ve been in a church for 24 years that taught you can lose your salvation. I’ve been confused for most of those years too. It is only the last 5 years that I have begged God to help me know the truth on this issue. I would gladly receive any resource on the subject.
Kim — you have grown so despite the teachings in your church. I know the Keller messages will help you — also anything from The Gospel Coalition — all that available for free on I-Tunes. The Gospel is in exact opposition to the teaching that we can lose our salvation. That teaching really leads to a work-based salvation — if you earned it, you can surely lose it.
So glad you are here!
It WAS a God-thing that I am here, Dee. Dr. Keller said on the G/C panel that preachers have a responsibility to know the Word. That is an understatement. I also found on a link Piper’s answer to why scripture is hard to understand. Great answer and one I’ve asked. I’m going to repeat to myself your last statement. We have been at E-free now the last 5 years so we really have been on a search for the truth. I am excited to get some real answers.
I understand how you feel, Kim. I used to worry about losing salvation too because there are so many different things IOU hear about it. A few months ago when in the context of another study discussion Dee said that we can’t lose something we can’t earn ourselves, it totally settled my mind on the matter. Thanks, Dee! I’m so glad for that perspective!
Thank you! I am amazed how strong that belief system got down into my soul but I am believing God to fill that place with truth. Please pray for my husband, his dad was a minister, when he was alive, in this denomination and my husband needs the light and truth to shine on him as well.
I will pray for him Kim
Charles Stanley has a book called Eternal Security that may be helpful too.
It’s funny you brought that up. I heard him speak on the subject years ago on the radio. Thanks!
Kim T. I will pray for your husband.
Angela, I enjoyed reading your blog also. You inspire me!
Your wonderful answers surely are confirming what Scripture teaches about how the law is good but our desires our evil. I laughed at Cliff Notes Elizabeth and Kim’s Dating Game and Mash stories.
I love how Anne ponders and ponders and is so real.
You are each dear.
Oh — and you must go on Angela’s blog! I just added a beautiful picture I lifted from her blog and put it above.
3. Read James 1:13-15 carefully.
A. Who is not to blame when we are tempted, according to verse 13?
God is not to blame.
B. What is to blame?
I am curious if ‘evil desires’ here means the same thing as it does in Colossians? I am thinking it might.
My first question that came out of verse 13, was ‘why would anyone say God is tempting them?” What would be going on in their heart to even consider that, if they know Him, know of His holiness, have fully tasted Him, why would they think He would desire to cause them to stumble? Even Jesus warned if anyone causes these children that come to me to stumble, they would be better off tying a millstone around their neck and casting them into the sea.
Could it be that idol deception can cause us to forget the very nature of God? To forget what He has done for us? Then in the forgetting or remembering Him, we turn from Him to the good things he has made and make them the ultimate replacement for him? It all sounds so sick and it makes my stomach turn to think I would do this, but I have..Yet He rescues me and draws me back to Him..Again, I am His, no one can snatch me out of His hand..There is redemption even in these hideous, dark places we go.
Rebecca, that is a great point about why anyone would think that God tempted them. If He did there would not be the safety in His arms that we know we have. This makes me remember how it is so important for us to keep our eyes fixed on Him and not be looking around. Then the other thing is seeing the gifts as gifts for which to be thankful and not possessions.
Anne, wow great extension in saying if He did tempt us there wouldn’t be the safety in His arms that we know we have. that is so true and indicates a huge deception or lie taking place that twists who God really is and places this worthless thing over God who is glorious.
And one of the great sins Isaiah spoke of was not having a right view of God. This would be in that category I think.
good pondering… you got me thinking…it’s interesting to me because our evil desires, or epi-desires are a gift from God that we have made an idol of–so maybe that is where it can be easy for some to blame God–He gave the gift, but when something goes wrong, if we do not take responsibility for creating an idol of it, we may blame God. I can’t think of a personal example..sorry to be typing as I think ;0
Oh, DUH..I am just now reading Dee’s explanation in regard to what ‘Our own evil desires’ means…
Wow..Excellent explanation..I like the epi-desire meaning..and it relating to a plague or disease that ravishes a person..The same with these evil desires. They can destroy our soul.
4. To help you see your epi-desires, answer both of these:
A. What do you think you must have for life to be meaningful and fulfilling?
I had to really think about this and first I must say I am so thankful it isn’t my nightly sweets anymore. I think six or so months ago I would have said that.
Immediately what came to mind is that my life would be fulfilling if I ended up having healthy boys who grow into adults with hearts that thirst after God and find satisfaction in Him.
B. What, if you lost it, do you think might make you not want to live?
My answer is if I lost any of my boys either by death or any of them rejecting Jesus-becoming an atheist or something, or my husband and I when they grow up-it would be the most painful thing, but I am thinking I would go into a deep depression perhaps not wanting to live. This is a dark place of control in me God is bringing to the surface lately.
I was so afraid of losing my first son after he was born I stayed in bed for two weeks and wouldn’t drive him anywhere in a car for fear of a car wreck. Yikes! I even missed my best friends wedding because of it. I also slept with my head in his bassinet sometimes to make sure I could hear him breathing. By my second son I REALLY let go of that, but it is still there in different ways deep in my heart.
2. I had listened to the first sermon Removing Idols of the Heart, but I started over again and took 5 pages of notes! It helps me to write down and then I can review it and use my notes to talk about these things with God so I can remember what I heard.
What I learned from this was that I have struggled with a basic misunderstanding of the Gospel – which I like to call the Good News. Because so often a realization of my sin leads me to a downward spiral of despair. Keller asked “If you find that to look at your sins…leads you to despair, I have to ask you, on what basis do you believe God loves you?”
I know in my head that He loves me and that I can’t earn His love or salvation by my own efforts, but to get it into my heart and live it out has been my problem. There is that little part of me that believes I have to be this or do that for Him to approve of me, and also I think at the core a mistrust of God, not really believing what He says about His love. I struggle so with entering into His rest and resting in His love and security.
The encouraging part of his sermon was that “you are not reallly being dominated by your flesh if you’re upset, if you can see the movement of it, you’ve engaged it; the most important part of the battle is you woke up”. Feeling the fight is a sign of life! Keller encourages us to not be discouraged when you see the bad motives because it’s a sign of life, that God IS working in your life. It’s a sign of growth.
This was good: “Self pity leads to continuing to love the sin so it still has power over you but hating yourself.” You hate the consequences of it but you haven’t learned to hate the sin.
Real repentance is saying “What has this sin done to God?”
Loved his example of Stephen Sharnoch’s writings on the difference between a legalistically convicted person versus the evangelically convicted person who says, “I have offended a God who had His hands stretched out to me as a friend; my heart must be made of marble…”
And then the last part where Keller teaches us how to preach to ourselves and that it’s something we must be doing EVERY DAY.
This is so good listening once, or twice, is not enough. I can’t wait to “go over this with God” and talk with Him about these things because I want to get this into my heart so it will change me and my relationship with Him.
I’ve loved reading everyone’s discussion on the other sermons, too and I’m going to listen to the other two also!
I am with you sister, I listen when I’m cooking, cleaning, even in the shower. I am learning SO much from him. I listened last night for the 3rd or fourth time and got all new stuff! I smile when I see you wrote down the same exact points I did. You mentioned praying to ourselves…I think I will write out my prayer today and memorize it. Glad you’re going to listen to the other two, you’ll need a notebook! :)
Instead of pray to ourselves, I meant preach to ourselves, and I am going to make that into a prayer.
LOL about “praying to ourselves” – wow, idolatry to the extreme!
Seriously, writing your own prayers is a really great idea!
Oh my — you are a teacher’s delight. I am so blessed by the women on this blog. I think Keller would be pleased too.
4. A. What do you think you must have for life to be meaningful and fulfilling? Peace and stability in my marriage. That’s the very first thought. I know ultimately it is my faith, my relationship with Christ.
B. What, if you lost it, do you think might make you not want to live?
My husband or my kids. I don’t imagine ever losing my faith–not because of me, but because He gave it, can’t really explain..just not something I can imagine.
I struggle with this because I know I can hold far too tightly–especially to my husband. I remember the lesson on relational idolatry. When my husband and I were in high school and broke up briefly, I couldn’t eat for nearly 3 days. I couldn’t sleep, I was completely dependent. A friend helped me see that, and I know I am no where near that place, but still, there is a large part of me that wouldn’t want to live. That was what was so hard in reading Dee’s book, yet so healing for me.
The other thing is that I long for Heaven. My mom recently told me she felt sorry for all my deceased father was missing out on and the comment has bothered me for days! I get what she meant–but how? The joy of Heaven–that is what it’s all about–that it HOME. So I hope if I lost my husband I would still rest in that joy of knowing he is Home. I just wouldn’t want to stay here! ;)
Sorry–it’s a rambling morning, I better stop using this as a journal!
I just wanted to touch base with you ladies this morning. I’m starting back at the first week b/c I got sidetracked and don’t want to miss anything. But I’ve been reading and this is such a rich study. I pray that you are all being blessed by it as I’m sure you are!
Glad you are back Jessica!
Hi Jessica!! :-)
Welcome back , Jessica!
5. Give an example of how your idol, your own deceitful desires, has lured you away from the safety of God. Be specific.
This may not be what you mean—and I wouldn’t normally share this because it’s so humbling, embarrassing, but the phrase “lured away from the safety of God” brings to mind one specific time in my life. About 10 years ago I noticed a physical symptom/change in my body that disturbed me. I got online, late at night, and I began searching for an answer. The first thing that popped up was this horribly disfiguring disease that several years prior I had seen a TV movie about and it had always plagued the back of my mind. When I saw it listed first—I became overcome with fear and panic. I spent the next 2 years spending countless amounts of money, going to every type of doctor imaginable to find out what was wrong with me. The “symptoms” I saw were so subtle, most people didn’t even notice—things life fluid retention…could have many causes…but in the back of my mind I always feared it was the start of this one disfiguring disease. Anyway, it’s a long story that only ended when we had children and I finally stopped obsessing about my health and appearance, because I was forced outside of myself!
I only share this because it was the one of darkest times spiritually in my life. We have had dark times in our marriage, before my husband’s medication, but this was so clearly a luring away. I look back and see how Satan clearly used my fears from the past, and the dark of night, and the internet—to construct the setting that lured me into a dark and fearful place. But I also see where instead of trusting Him, and relying on Him for my self worth, I was consumed with the fear of losing my physical appearance.
2 more examples just came to mind—in the past I have struggled with jealousy of my m-i-l, or another woman, and my desire to be the only woman my husband admires, had led me to be very critical and judgmental towards certain other women. I also remember in our struggle with infertility. There was a moment far into the process that my Dr looked at me and said “Don’t give up, I can make you have a baby!’ That was my last appointment. I know fertility treatments can certainly be used by God, but in that moment, her words felt like an open door down a path out of His safety for me.
Sorry to be so wordy today! Off to read Angela’s blog–I’ve actually been to it before, when we first started this study, and found it so encouraging!
Loved your examples Elizabeth! The internet can be so scary when it comes to things like what you mentioned. My hubbie has done that often too then starts experiencing those symptoms, etc. Thankfully God brought a wonderful godly doc into his life to rec. that and help him. I have been in that place too and just had to surrender. I just blogged about it. Ha! Funny you said you were going over. It wasn’t specific but about the thorn being a gift. Dealing with an unknown illness continually can be scary if I do not trust Him fully. So many docs have speculated so many things. But right now I am okay and I am taking that as a gift as well. But my mind has been lured away….then when my daughter’s special needs came to light…again lured away…back again. I need to keep my eyes fixed on Christ!! That is key. Love your examples!
I just read your blog post on thorns–so good! I’m going to share it with my husband tonight–he is struggling with his own thorn right now and this will be such an encouraging reminder.
I can relate- I had to stop watching a diagnosis show on t.v. b/c I was beginning to allow worry to over take me. I often pray the verse that tells us to cast down the imaginations of the flesh.
When I saw the neurosurgeon before surgery a few years ago he asked me if I had been on the internet to find out all about my surgery. When I said no he seemed a little relieved. Ignorance can be bliss. What we should check out on the internet are hospitals and surgeons.
I have an answer to 4 now-last night I got really angry because the family was not working in a way I desired. Control came up again and I had to surrender. I said a few things I regret. I had to see it still rearing its ugly head.
1.A. Give an example of how hearing about painful consequences, perhaps in the secular world, has indeed, helped you to restrain yourself from a particular behavior.
A year before I learned the truth about my marriage, I saw evidence that confirmed my then husband was having an internet affair and I became boiling mad. I was tempted to take my own revenge but stopped when I began thinking about who my sin would affect and where I would end up. I have visited relatives in prison and have listened to prisoners being interviewed on 48 Hours and Dateline. After learning the truth about my marriage there were many times I was tempted in my mind to exact my own revenge. What kept me from doing so were two truths I told myself: I don’t want to dishonor God and robbed him of glory and praise. I don’t want to go to prison.
B. Give an example of how hearing a rule or a “law” has actually boomeranged and inspired sinful thoughts that gave birth to sinful actions.
I don’t remember how old I was but my mother had told me I could not visit my great-grandparents. They lived not far from our home and I could walk there in a jiffy. Well…I defied my mother and walked to their home anyway. I was blissfully unaware that my mother had walked after me with a rod of correction in her hand. She used it on the walk back home to get her point across.
2. Listen to one of these three sermons and report.
I listened to the third sermon and I’m with Rebecca. How come I’ve never hear this before? I’ve been wondering if Keller’s teaching in the third sermon is the ‘meat’ of the word Paul describes and maybe we have had to develop ‘strong teeth to chew it’.
The first statement I have written in my notes is: “By devoting our lives to the gospel we can give up our idols and look to Jesus, with whom we died and are now raised.” Next I wrote, “In life we are inevitably changed and shaped by the the things we desire.”
I really appreciated his explanation of the radical change the gospel brings. His explaining how to put off old self and put on new self is one of the clearest I’ve ever heard. How to be truly converted is not something I hear from the local pulpit.
I wrote down a question to ask myself underneath this particular section of notes.
“R u doing what culture tells u to do or what Christ tells u to do?”
His terms digging down and looking up reminded me of this blog study. After listening to the whole sermon I felt as if God had finally given me the last key to deliverance from the dark places of my soul.
There is so much to chew on. His question ‘what’s my functional savior’ is one I’ve never been asked. But now that I have been asked I can explore the reasoning behind many of my past decisions. I’ve heard it said that past behavior gives clues for future behavior and I want to keep making better and wiser decisions.
Knowing that God sees me as he sees Christ gives me hope for a future, not free from pain, but free from the consequences of unwise decisions because now I have a clearer understanding of what living within God’s boundaries really means AND I HAVE A DESIRE TO LIVE WITHIN THEM.
I think what I really appreciate about Dr. Keller is his willingness to share his failings as a human being. As a twenty-five year old pastor he knew he didn’t understand the hearts of people yet he was able to be tender toward a woman who seemed to have more life experience than him. (hope that makes sense) His using the voice of a woman who had overcame a lifetime of abuse to teach others about Jesus being our life caught me by surprise. I am so glad he could see beyond her scars and listen to her heart. She expressed what I have been thinking myself. I will never give my whole heart to another earthbound man again nor will I love an earthbound man with every fiber of my being. I haven’t gone as far to say I will never marry again. I desire to marry a man I can serve God alongside of. I’m glad at this stage of my life I know I’m not ready for that committment yet.
Tammy, Hasn’t this made you look at certain passages in a new light? When you start understanding that God truly delights in us like He does Jesus? That He is jealous for us, and it makes Him deeply upset if anyone causes us to stumble, and he is grieved when we run to idols. I love the hold He has on me. I don’t want Him to let go, but the thing is HE WON’T! :-)
Rebecca
Can’t remember who the author of the quote is but I heard the following during my darkest days: “There are scriptures you cannot understand until you have experienced affliction.” Yes, my sister, God has used this study to open my eyes to deeper truth. Psalm 42:1 just leapt out at me this morning. I began reading my copy of Tozer’s The Pursuit of God this morining during my devotional time and he stated in the first chapter ‘God discovers (I like the way Tozer words this) Himself to “babes” and hides Himself in the thick darkness from the wise and prudent…We must put away all effort to impress, and come with the guileless candor of childhood.’
Bible study has come fully alive for me and I am planning to begin going back through my Precept Study of Romans and dig deeper.
I like and appreciate your thoughts on #2, Tammy. I find I am constantly thinking on this study in order to grasp all of it.
Thank you Kim. Sometimes when I share my answers I wonder if I am making sense. It’s difficult at times to express in words what I have in my heart.
Angela–I just made myself laugh–I was looking at your blog and actually said in my mind “I can’t wait until my daughter is a teenager so I can order that Girl Power study!” Now that should encourage you that it looks really good because in reality the idea of a my 7 yr old as a teen is a bit trembling ;)
Angela,
I just looked at your ministry website and your blog..LOVE the story of you talking to yourself at 13..Loved the way you wrote that, from the outside looking in.
I am inspired by you..homeschooling yet not failing to use the gifts God has given you and not saying no to the desire he has given you and your husband together in ministry to both your family and those around you..That is totally what God wants us to do!
Oh and you have encouraged me to make time to write again. :-)
Oh Rebecca I am praying for you. Write!! Sometimes it feels like a discipline but whether it is in journal or blog it is still writing and it is so helpful to me personally. If it helps others along the way then that is a bonus! Thanks for your kind words. I cannot wait to see what happens with you writing.
Dee, I will have to say again, It amazes me how many women are here on this blog at the same time who have such teachable spirits..godly and wise women also. It is amazing how God is moving in our hearts and changing us all. It is a privilege for me to see it as it is happening in others as well. I literally get goosebumps when I hear updates from everyone..
I agree Rebecca. My sense is that God’s Spirit is breaking forth now. I hope that this is just a small cell of what He is doing all over the world. I just read a letter from a missionary in Brazil about 12-15 year old boys that she is teaching the Bible that gave me goosebumps. Let’s pray for more…
Amen! I love it dearly.
O.K. I can’t find that post Kim wrote when she dialogued with Dee, so I will just respond by saying..Kim, you have SUCH a teachable spirit, and at the same time also you are a wise, godly woman..It is such a privilege to witness how God is moving in your heart. What He is showing you about your security in Him and really just how he is starting to free you! We are all changing and to hear it as God rolls it out in our lives has been a huge balm of encouragement to me.
Thank you, Rebecca. God gets all the praise. I am delighted at all I am learning, I went to a Lutheran wedding Saturday and felt the Spirit moving so much I was afraid I might do ugly cry. I think the wonderful freedom I am finding is making me epi-sensitive to God. Heehee
Angela, you have a beautiful family, especially 2 gorgeous girls. How cute they are! I went to your blog and loved it. The ramblings were for me. I liked the one about the snow and God’s power on display. Your sense of humor about special needs was refreshing. I know it can sometimes be very painful but I admire your ability to see humor also. Your testimony on Lisa Shaw’s site was powerful. And I have to say, you have the most beautiful hair!
Anne thank you for your kind words!! I love how we can all encourage one another here. So glad you can get a bigger glimpse in my heart. I hope I express that here. You all have been such a blessing and encouragement to me. It is a safe place to be real when we all want the same thing freedom in Christ! Praying for you! Thankful to be connected to you Anne!
3A. God is not to blame for our temptations bc He cannot tempt.
3B. Our evil desires tempt us and drag is into it. What a word pic… Being dragged!
4A. I desire comfort and security, to be thought well of by others/approval idol. I want to have a purpose and feel “useful”.. This is probably the strongest epi-desire in my life, it’s sort of a combination of all three deep idols. But I will not despair over this because God is at work!!!!
4B. If I lost the love of God I would have no reason to exist. This is a deep fear of mine even though I know it’s not possible. How strange is that?!? How irrational! Yet how entrapped I allow my soul to become. Sometimes I so fed up with myself. Yet I feel on te brink of freedom. God is so good.
5. My desire to control chaos and give into idols lures me away. First I become worried about something and cling to control, which leads to the second idol, comfort, and ends with constant approval seeking.
I did not encourage you when you were the featured blogger so I would like to now. When you say, “This is probably the strongest epi-desire in my life, it’s sort of a combination of all three deep idols. But I will not despair over this because God is at work!!!!” you encourages me also. I have other idols that I know God will work on as we go. I chose to work on the most prominent, comfort. Thank you, Tracy
Thanks, Kim, that’s very sweet. :-)
6. When God brought the above cycle to mind, I received freedom
to swim the other way.
8. My takeaway is that it is essential to rely on CHRIST ALONE. Not just in fighting idols and desire, but in all.
Amen…rely on Christ Alone.
A. What do you think you must have for life to be meaningful and fulfilling?
God and family.
B. What, if you lost it, do you think might make you not want to live?
My husband. I am always working on keeping God first but I couldn’t honestly say I have perfected this.
Not long ago I would have to answer food on both, but I am truly progressing in this area.
I went to the test tonight, remembering my answer to 4b. I have been so concerned about Joey. He is falling away from God and from church. I am helpless. One of the only godly men in his life is his guitar teacher. I made him go to his lesson tonight knowing this man is concerned and cares about him. He is also very involved with the youth group. In the hours before we left to go to the lesson it occurred to me that Joey is ripe for gang involvement which is just rampant in this area. Yesterday he told me there are Christians in gangs. That really was a red flag for me. So tonight as I sat in the car waiting for him I prayed for their conversation and Joey’s heart. My stomach was just churning (my tip that an idol is threatened). I realized what was happening and what I must do. I had to trust God with him. I don’t know what road he will walk to God, but I must let him walk it. On the way home he didn’t say anything but the ice was gone from his eyes. We rode home with the windows down and when I smelled the scent of him my heart cried out to God for him in a new and different way. I think it was God’s heart for him.
Oh Anne. Praying with you here. It sounds like this from Lamentations, “Rise during the night and cry out.Pour out your hearts like water to the Lord.Lift up your hands to him in prayer,pleading for your children,for in every streetthey are faint with hunger”.(2:19 NLT).
Seriously Christian gangs…That just sounds crazy. I can see how this could easily become an idol. Ever heard of Nicki Cruz. God used a missionary to save his life from gangs. Maybe that guitar teacher is like that man for your son. God has a plan. Praying for you as you trust. You really encourage me with this.
I think it is that they are telling him they are Christians. I talked with him about how anyone can say they are a Christian but you have to look at their lives to see if they truly are.
Anne, I will pray.
You have such incredible insight, Anne, and a mother’s heart. I struggle so much in the area of prayer!
So neat to hear how it was God’s heart for Joey that gave you your prayer for him.
Dear Anne, I am praying for Joey. He is going to make the right choices, I know, because he has such a wonderful christian mother.
This is true. He is very blessed to have such a neat faith-filled mom.
Thanks to all of you for prayers and encouragement. I have not been as good as a mom as I wish I had been and now my opportunity for certain things is over. But this is God’s opportunity to show how big He is in my family. I am deternined to trust Him only. Love to all of you. You mean so much to me!
BIBLE STUDY
3. Read James 1:13-15 carefully.
A. Who is not to blame when we are tempted, according to verse 13?
God is not to blame; He does not tempt anyone.
I liked Rebecca’s thoughts on “why would anyone think God desires for them to stumble?” Even us sinful parents would not purposely cause harm to our children. God desires the best for His children. Even when He must discipline us, His intention is never to harm.
B. What is to blame?
Your own lust (NASB) “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.”
4. To help you see your epi-desires, answer both of these:
A. What do you think you must have for life to be meaningful and fulfilling?
This is not so easy to answer, but I think one thing is LOVE. I want to be loved and to give love. I think that is why when my boys have gotten older and I can’t love on them like I used to, because I’m a very physically affectionate mom, it felt like my life was less fulfilling than when they were small. Thankfully my 10 year old daughter still likes to snuggle!
I feel my relationship with my mom and dad adds meaning to my life. It was very fulfilling to me to spend time with my nephew and it was painful when that was taken away when he died.
On a positive note, I think I must have a deeper relationship with Jesus for my life to be fulfilling and meaningful, which is one reason why I’m here on this blog!
B. What, if you lost it, do you think might make you not want to live?
One of my children.
Angela, I just read your blog and I loved it! You’re eloquent and sensitive and have a gift of getting the message across in a gentle yet profound way. The piece on thorns really ministered to me. I appreciate your kindness and wisdom in this group! Blessings to you and yr family.
Thank you Tracy. I am feeling so blessed to be connected to you and the others. You minister to me too in your posts. Hugs to you!
5. Give an example of how your idol, your own deceitful desires, has lured you away from the safety of God. Be specific.
As I shared on the last post, the attraction I felt for another man several years ago. I desired, I lusted after love, affection, affirmation, approval. It became an “over-desire”, more important to me than anything else, and this temptation lured me away from God and the safe boundaries He created for me within my marriage, if only in my mind. My desire to be loved by another human being was bigger than my desire to be loved by God.
I’m staring at what I just wrote: “MY DESIRE TO BE LOVED BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING WAS BIGGER THAN MY DESIRE TO BE LOVED BY GOD.”
It’s no longer the same circumstances today, but that motive still drives me; the desire to be loved by another person is bigger than my desire to be loved by God. That takes me directly to Keller’s sermon and the example of 16 year old Debbie:
“I’m telling you how you have to preach to yourself, because when you’re saying, like Debbie, ‘what good is all that if you’re not popular, what good is what He’s done…’, you have to look at the Cross and say ‘oh Lord Jesus, I see what You have done so that I wouldn’t put anything before You…” (Keller)
6. I think I just answered a bit of this question with what I discovered in answering #5!
I must ponder more on this…
Question five really affected the next 4 me 2.
I wake to find this fountain bubbling up, washing over all of us.
Each of you are dipping into His well and then sharing, This is so rich, I give thanks to God.
It is wonderful how God is revealing our hearts to us and also His heart for each of us — and for our children, like Joey.
I agree with Rebecca that this is an unusual group of women and we are blessed that God brought us together.
Oh Yes Dee, you are so right!
5. Give an example of how your idol, your own deceitful desires, has lured you away from the safety of God. Be specific.
I will have to say the best example of this is when I was addicted to sweets..It lured me so far away from God that I went into myself and started becoming depressed and then it went into not being able to function around the house, the next step was suicidal thoughts-so my idol was destroying my soul slowly. Also, when I was single I had THE WORST anxiety attack in my life. As I look back I am SURE it was an idol problem. I was diagnosed clinically with depression and anxiety. A Christian counselor friend of mine helped me to change my thinking and believe the truth about what God says of me and God helped me climb out of it, but the problem was with my idols and I hadn’t a clue they were there. I was never taught about them so I continued to be deceived by them until now as I am starting to see it when it happens!! :-)
Love your specific examples. And that you can see now.
love these examples too Rebecca. I will say I can see this sweets issue stemming back to growing up. My Dad has it bad too. He told me how he struggled with this and he knows what God wants him to do but cannot seem to pull away from it. I felt so sad for him. He is in that trap with it. We grew up in a legalistic church and I sometimes think he reverts back to that thinking…I struggled so hard to break free from that. I understand now…Sweets were a trap for me too and I kept crying out to God. I will tell you the strangest grace happened. One day I got really sick and I went through a period where I could not eat much at all. It lasted for several months. I stopped eating so much and then I started learning to eat for nourishment because anything else made me so sick. Finally it got my focus off of those things and on God. It was a miracle. But I can see the hold it had. Such a powerful hold.
Everyone
Please pray for one of my SS preschoolers. Her name is Hannah and she is having heart surgery today. She’s almost five and this is her second surgery. Her parents are Sheldon and Jamie. Thanks!!
Tammy, will do sister!!
Dear Lord,
As Hannah is one of Your dear little children, we trust that You will oversee every detail of her surgery today. You will be with her the whole time, and You will guide the surgeon’s hands and fingers as He performs this delicate work on her heart. We pray for healing and protection against any complications from the surgery. We know You will also be a Strong Tower for her parents, Sheldon and Jamie, as they wait during the surgery, and care for Hannah afterwards.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
praying
Tammy, I am praying for little Hannah and her parents
I join in the chorus of prayer.
Precious Hannah came thru her surgery and is now vent/chest tube free. Her Aunt Lisa is keeping us up-to-date on FB. Thanks for all your prayers.
Awakened this morning to ponder the things we’re learning and thought of the marriage metaphor of our relationship with God and also Rebecca’s comments again on the James passage, about why would we ever think God intends to hurt us?
In Dee’s book The God of All Comfort she writes about when a tragedy happens, we often back away from God because He allowed this thing to happen. I certainly went through that when I lost my nephew. I was mad at God for letting it happen and wondered why He didn’t do things differently.
But all we’re learning is helping me to finally grasp the concept that while we’re in a “marriage relationship” with the Lord, it is still a very unequal partnership – and I mean by that that it is WE who are unfaithful at times, it is we who break God’s heart and hurt Him by turning away to our idols, but never the other way around. We, like the Israelites, forsake Him, spurn Him, forget Him, ignore Him, question His good intentions toward us, bring false charges against Him.
But God is always a safe One to run to because He never ever would hurt His child or His bride. Loving discipline, yes. But the wreck and ruin sin makes of our lives grieves Him, yes, angers Him, but never a vindictive anger turned against those who belong to HIm. When I begin to see this, how could it not melt my heart and make me eagerly seek Him out?
Susan, excellent ponderings..
I had a thought to add that your post brought to mind. I thought about what you wrote and was reminded that wow, death also was our doing, not his- But I can’t say that I wouldn’t get angry at him if it happened to someone in my family, especially if one of my nephews, nieces or any of my children die. I don’t know how I would respond.
I was looking into my son’s face the other day. My son Andrew who is 9. He struggles with chronic sinus infections and four surgeries and antibiotics since he was three hasn’t helped. We found out his sinus’ are closed again and he has a horrible infection. We have him on antibiotics for three weeks now and so far it hasn’t helped. We can’t figure out why he can’t knock these infections so the doctor wants to do further testing to rule out any other underlying cause.
I touched his face yesterday and prayed..Lord if you take him away, if these recurrent infections yield something deeper-if he has to keep suffering with this-Lord I don’t see how you could let that happen to such an innocent child. In God’s economy before the fall death wasn’t an issue. It was because of what Adam and Eve did. So I remembered that. I remembered that Andrew is in God’s hands, but that ‘fear’ still lurks.
Suaan this example has been a blessing to me.
Wonderful Susan. I liked your thoughts on the unequal marriage relationship. Listening to one of Keller’s recent sermons on The Covenant Relationship yesterday and he made the same point.
6. Share a time during this study when realizing that your idol was a destructive desire helped you turn around and swim the other way.
For me it was a process. When I was awakened to my comfort idol. I swam the other way with food but for different reasons, what FOOD was doing to me, but I hadn’t swam away from my idol yet. I was starting to understand it was a comfort idol problem, but I didn’t realize how much a hold that comfort idol had on me until I started recognizing my body signals..Then I started seeing it..I can’t recall when or with what week we were on, but as I was not going to food for comfort, I saw it as fasting and turning my heart back to Jesus for my sustenance because it wasn’t like I could just ‘do it’ after realizing it. It was a process of HIM doing it and me letting go-running to Him so He could do it in me. I came to the place where I just let go of everything I was alerted to that I clung to for comfort or staying in my safe zone..I didn’t know how, or when I would have this comfort idol replaced with Jesus, but I knew He knew-so I truly surrendered over time.
You know, you hear over and over in some churches ‘just lay it out and surrender. give it all to Jesus’. But the root in the soil goes so much deeper than merely surrendering my near sins at the top of the soil.
I am seeing so much now..My eyes are wide open. I can also say that I am also experiencing freedom from relational idolatry with my husband now. I am turning and running away when my comfort security idol beckons me to come..It is my children that are next and my control idol is an issue now but I am more confident than ever based on how I have seen God work that He will release me from this hold as well.
One thing I am so thankful for is I am learning these things now. My oldest daughter is really struggling with issues she has with authority. It is an idol of control. She is so grieved she keeps falling. This has helped me so much verbalize the struggle and explain it to her to help her break free at a younger age. She is so sweet but sees herself stuck. She is 9/what amazing insight. I think I need to just really help her to see in the Scriptures how much God loves her regardless. She really keeps trying to work her way toward His favor and love. I really need to be praying about God opening her heart to really see this.
Angela, It is so awesome how God is using this study in overflow to your daughter! I had the exact same thought yesterday that it is crucial my boys know this now..that idols exist in their hearts. I can’t discern my younger two yet and they may not be able to understand, but my older two might be able to now.
I have the same issue with my oldest two..With my oldest part of it is his Aspergers that trips him up as far as being in control of everything, that he is right. He is always ‘correcting’ details and it can annoy those he is around. Even his teachers. When I say something and said a word wrong, he focuses on the word and corrects me. Even after I correct myself he is still focused on it and I have to redirect him to the content and the point at hand I was trying to express. Combine that with him being a pre-teen! Yikes!!
Isaac, my one with Autism just learned yesterday that he has an addiction to Eli. Relational idolatry. If Eli rejects him in any way his life is over in his mind. Of course Eli is his only friend. He has none at school or at church and he is going into middle school next year. :-( I do think the kids at school and church have been nice to him though, but none invite him to their house or birthday parties or sleepovers. He is the only one who has never been to a sleep over and he is eleven now.
Sorry for the book. :-)
Oh Rebecca, could he start by inviting a friend to your home for a sleepover? That makes me sad for your little guy. I will pray.
Kim,
Awwww, thanks so much for praying! I am hoping when he goes into the middle school ministry at church this Summer he will find a friend and perhaps there will be someone at middle school next year. He hasn’t had a friend to invite over for him yet. I am saying ‘yet’ because I hope eventually it will happen. :-)
Last year he had a birthday party and we invited some children he picked out from his class. My hopes were high..We mailed the invites and no one rsvp’d and no one showed. One child’s mom called and had her son come to the door and drop off a gift because his family was going out of town. I thought that was sweet!
I don’t think I will ever forget how it effected Isaac when no one showed. It was a very heartbreaking day. I went to the store and bought him some more gifts. :-)
So this year we had his birthday at a lazer tag place and invited the kiddo’s who have Autism and Aspergers in our support group..They came! ;-)
The GOOD thing is my mom, my friend Lisa and some of our family DID show up. Isaac has a STRONG support system from our family.
Oh Rebecca. I love how they are seeing these things now this early! My Aspie has those issues too and I am struggling in prayer with God about how much of it can be helped…You get what I am saying? I know the power of Christ that raised Him from the dead lives in us through His holy Spirit so I know that self-control in the Spirit can take over. When it is an obsessive thought time or inflexibility time like that it is so hard for me to discern. I am always praying and redirecting her to ask God for help in this (she has professed faith and takes it so seriously.) Trying to help her not be legalistic cuz of the literal thinking and black and white thinking…Anyway praying for you as I pray for us and sort this out. I cannot even imagine the teen years! Yikes! I will be equipped though when they come like you are by HIM. Love to you and HUGS. I so understand.
Angela
Angela, I do get what you are saying!!
Love and hugs to you too!! :-)
Oh, I don’t want to rabbit trail any further here, but just thought I would ask if you have heard of any books out where there is encouragement from a Christian perspective to parents who kiddo’s on the spectrum?
No I have not? Have you? I was thinking the other day that one needed to be written…hmm. you up to it? ;)
Angela, I was going to ask you that question. :-)
ha ha Rebecca. Maybe we could do one together some day! I have wanted to write one but I am way too new at it at this point. It is a great need.
Angela, I will pray for your daughter amd your sons, Rebecca. You are both super wonderful mom’s.
Joyce, You are too! :-)
Angela, she has a tender heart. I will pray. I wish I knew what I know now and could have taught it to my sons. I remember though when my husband and I learned sound financial teaching after our boys were older. We grieved it but God turned it around for us and by example our sons now walk in financial peace too.
Kim T. love that testimony! Thanks for your prayers.
Tammy, I can’t find where to reply to your comment so I will here. :-) Sometimes I can’t find them as I search in the comments, but I read them in my e-mail.
O.K. NOW I have to get the Tozer book and start reading! I haven’t gotten it yet via my Nook. I can’t find the hard copy in my book box in my storage room. I had it like 15 years ago or so..I am SURE it will shed new light this time around.
Dr. Keller is such a poignant preacher!
The other day, I also found this sermon, specifically digging into the “I do what I don’t want to do” and talking about Paul.
http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/world-idols
Another great sermon and a reminder of what our focus should be! Ravished rings in my mind…
Dawn, Thank you for this sermon, I needed it.
Thanks, Dawn. I will listen later.
Dawn
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for sharing this link! I loved his insight on Naaman especially since I’ll be teaching 3/4 yr olds how God healed Naaman next Sunday in SS. I never thought I would say this but I’m going to miss this study when we finish.
Here’s a well done version of “I Can’t Say No” (I cannot believe this is a children’s musical theater performance)!
http://youtu.be/mAwqWDYI9dg
And the original…
http://youtu.be/VprmD6oXpFQ
Thanks Dawn, sorry to say I don’t remember ever seeing this. I had to go on Dee’s description. My parents just didn’t watch musicals. The school girls did a great job! Dee I think this is a great illustration for your book.
That was great, I rented the original and watched it today. I had never seen it. I have to watch musicals when the hubby isn’t home. I know he’d say real cowboys don’t sing purty!
God led me here and He certainly orchestrated this group!
When I first arrived, I had “a pretty good idea” of my idols. Now, if you ask my husband about that phrase, he will readily attest that it means trouble. I use it repeatedly and specifically in regards to driving. When he hears me say that “I have a pretty good idea” of where we are going, he knows we will most likely be wandering around searching for our destination.
I am once again being humbled, from my “pretty good idea,” as week by week our Father is revealing more and more! As we drive on these streets and highways of life, it is through your vulnerability and transparency to confess and share, that He is guiding me in this journey.
My prayer is that we all come to be completely transformed and more like Jesus, with every mile of our drive!
Praying along with you Dawn!
5. Give an example of how your idol, your own deceitful desires, has lured you away from the safety of God. Be specific.
My idol had me so trapped I began to believe there was no way out. I gave up on myself and God. I figured I am never going to be free so why try? When we would sing “Victory in Jesus” at church, I wouldn’t sing it. I simply did not believe it and I couldn’t bear to be a hypocrite. I would only mouth the words. I experienced some victory but only for short periods of time. Like Dr. Keller said I put the emphasis on the will and self control but ended up losing heart. I looked for victorious Christian’s but there didn’t seem to be any. Everyone was struggling with something.
Thank goodness for this study. Victory can be ours. My eyes, like Rebecca’s are opening.
I am overwhelmed by all of the comments today. I don’t think I can catch up but I will pray for Hannah and her parents and Isaac too. It is so hard to bear our babies hurting like this.
Joey is so much better! God is so able! I pray we can all be encouraged by this. I am, and need another Ebenezer because there is still a long road before us. Oh and God is so taking care of the situation between Joey and youth pastor. Wow! So glad I left it up to Him.
I failed the test today in traffic after work. Got squeezed and what came up was not fruit of the Spirit. Tomorrow is a new day thanks to Jesus.
Good news, Anne. You’ll never go wrong trusting God with your children. btw How old is Joey? I’m praying.
Thanks for praying Kim. He is 15 and I have another who is 26.
You are funny, Anne! I loose the fruits alot too!
So glad things are better with Joey. Isn’t God wonderful!!
I am trusting God with Kendra friday, about 7 AM, when I have another back surgery done. Please pray God calms her spirit and no siezures happen and Daddy and her do great together. She is worried about mommy. I will be fine and probly be out by sunday, I hope.
I just pray the Lord will take the pain away and I can take a long walk one day! God is so good and I am so blessed!!
I will be praying.
Great comments. Love how God has provided support to so many of you as moms with one another with special needs kids.
Thanks for the I Can’t Say No Clip and sermon clip. Dawn. So glad you are here.
I picked up my youngest daughter Anne and Mia to bring to the cabin for four days. Sweet.
Loving all you are sharing.
Dee, How awesome! Have a great time!!
Oh Dee, That is wonderful…enjoy those days with your daughter and granddaughter! Give little Mia a kiss for all of us:)
How fun! Praying your time is sweet together!
That sounds terrific. :-)
6. Share a time during this study when realizing that your idol was a destructive desire helped you turn around and swim the other way.
A key time for me was with my 7 yr old daughter a few weeks ago. She had disobeyed and clearly was not repentant. She had said the words… but there was no true remorse. She was sent to her room, so we both could cool off. I remember sitting at the computer to do my study and feeling convicted to stop and go show her unmerited favor, forgiveness, grace, to be like Christ to her. I am one who is ready to forgive when there is a true apology but have a very difficult time forgiving when there isn’t, so…this was huge for me. I truly remember feeling almost led up to her room. I went and sat on her bed, opened my arms to which she fell in and cried.
My idol of self-righteousness, control was threatening to destruction in my relationship with her that day, and turning away from it, and towards grace, led to sweet fellowship with my child.
I needed to be reminded of this Dee–thanks for the question! :)
So sweet, Elizabeth! You done the right thing.
Elizabeth, I love this. “I truly remember feeling almost led up to her room. I went and sat on her bed, opened my arms to which she fell in and cried.” It is such a great example of following the leading of the Spirit and the healing He brings.
I love this story. So good.
Reminds me exactly of the story Ann Voskamp tells when her children had broken one side of an antique glass dresser door —
I love the words “I felt almost led”
Thank you, Elizabeth.
Great example Elizabeth! I struggle with this one too and my kids.
Sisters, could you please pray for my oldest. He is taking the LSAT on Monday. It is a test for admission to law school. He does not usually suffer with test anxiety but this one is really intimidating and he only gets one shot. He is somewhat distant from God right now and I am praying that he will call on His name now so that he may find out how faithful He is.
Lord, please be ever so close to Joyce as she goes for this 2nd back surgery. We ask for complete healing for her back right now. Guide her surgeon’s hands and bless all who participate in her care. I pray that whatever is out of place in her back will be visible to him as he operates and that he will be able to fix it. Speak peace to her soul in all of these days.
We ask for peace for Kendra also. Peace and distraction so that she won’t focus on fear for her mother. Comfort her heart and may she realize Your presence with her during this difficult time. We do not fully understand the electrical activity that causes her seizures but we ask for Your touch to bring peace there also.
Good prayer for Joyce and Kendra — I so agree.
And may your son call out to the Lord — I agree with that too.
Lord, I pray this with Anne, Amen..
Lord, We lift up Anne’s oldest son taking his exam on Monday. We ask that you would go before him and make your presence known. Lord we ask that whatever the result of the test, you use this to bring him closer to you.
Yes Lord, we lift up Anne’s son for his LSAT–give him clarity of mind, and protection from error.
Lord be in the hands of the doctors for Joyce’s surgery, be with Joyce, surround her with Your comfort, and for sweet Kendra Lrd, I pray You will draw her close to You that she would find You in a new way during this trial of watching her mom go through this…comfort her Lord.
praying Anne.
Will be praying also.
Thank you so much for all of your prayers!
My printer is out of black ink and the color ink only printed the pictures for the Thomas Chalmers part of our study. Usually it prints the writing too. Hmmm…I think it is time to replace our black cartridge. :-)
Lord Jesus, hear the prayers of each one. Thank you for the privilege of calling on you. Have mercy on your children, we ask, believing in you who knows what’s best. We love you and thank you in advance for your help. Amen.
Thank you all for your prayers and I will be praying for all of you and your needs and prayers while in the hospital. Blessings for your son, Anne. I pray he is given peace and it brings him to a closer walk with the Lord.
Lord — I come before you for dear JOyce — she’s suffered so at the hands of many doctors, just like the woman you touched. Please touch her, Oh Lord — and put your hand on the surgeon’s hand, your quickening in his mind, and bring her back whole, O Lord.
In Jesus Name
praying too sweet Joyce!
Thank you so much, I covet your prayers. You all mean so much to me. I will let you know how things went in about 3 days, when I get home. Love and blessings to you all.
6. Share a time during this study when realizing that your idol was a destructive desire helped you turn around and swim the other way.
When Dr. Keller said, “God is utterly holy and utterly majestic in His being. He does not need us but has voluntarily made Himself vulnerable to us, He cares for us and has bound up His heart with us! When we live for anything but God, we are doing exactly to him, only far worse, what people who’s spouses have walked out on them have done. We aren’t just breaking His heart we are stabbing Him in the heart.” My eyes were opened and I saw how it was hurting my one true love. I felt God’s jealousy for me and it was the turning point. The scripture came alive to me, it utterly melted my soul. I understood what the children of Israel and I do to God and how He feels.
7. Remember to report on your sermon — what do you remember?
*”This is the gospel- not that we give God a good record and He blesses us but that God through His son, gives us a PERFECT record and delights in us and out of that freeness we live for Him.”
*Jesus’ beautiful record is put upon us.”
*The freeness of salvation.
*”The only way to dispossess the heart of an old affection is by the expulsive (sp?)power of a new one.” ~Thomas Chalmers
*”Religious people when downcast, emphasize their will. Secular people emphasize emotions.” I did this and can say emphasizing my will only worked for a while.
*”The gospel utterly changes you in the heart, in the root and it frees you to live the self sacrificial happy life.”
This is my favorite:
*”God is not a remote force He built us to have Him as our lover. Our soul is not depicted as a pond but a turbulent ocean. It needs rapture and passion.” There is nothing boring about God!
Excellent notes.
Thank you. He’s SO good I wrote until my pen ran out of ink.
Kim, I love how you see His heart for you.
Thank you, Anne. I am learning so much, it’s wonderful. Not only from Keller but all of you.
Christ is my Life Sermon.
Loved this! Especially the part about being seated with Christ. I have been asking God for awhile to really understand this and here he explains it! WOW!
“Your seated with Him-God delights in you like He does in Jesus. WOW! Right hand-greatest honor in kingdom. Fathers heart bursts with joy. If give to Jesus God delights in you as if you have done everything He had. He delights in you like
He does His own Son.”
James 1:13-15
3.A. Who is not to blame when we are tempted, according to verse 13?
God is not to be blamed. Nothing evil comes from him.
B. What is to blame?
My selfish desires.
Epi-desires
4.A. What do you think you must have for life to be meaningful and fulfilling?
My one greatest desire was (and is still at the back of my mind) to have a husband who truly loved me. We already know that didn’t work out.
B. What, if you lost it, do you think might make you not want to live?
Having already lost what was not really mine to have in the first place, I feel I have already put my loss behind me and moved on. I’m three years out from the annulment of my marriage and the first eighteen months were the hardest. Every day I woke up and walked around with a deep, deep pain that could have sent me over the edge had I not become involved in regular Bible study and believed one day I would be better because God was healing me.
5. Give an example of how your idol, your own deceitful desires, has lured you away from the safety of God. Be specific.
Oh…the pain and humiliation of truth. Yesterday started out great. I was feeling good and looking forward to a full work day. I made the full work day but not without complications. I went to the home of my first client and proceeded to feel as if I was drunk. (shamed to say I have experienced the effects of drinking) I had the reeling and froing effect going on in my head. The world kept spinning around! I was able to sit down for a few minutes to regroup. I was dizzy off and on all morning. I prayed and asked for strenght to carry on and completed my work. I’ve never had this type of experience before. Went home rested at lunch and went to afternoon client. Felt some better but then headache started. By the time I got home in the afternoon and feeling more lousy I had decided to not go to choir practice and only attend 7 pm service. Didn’t make it because I decided to run into the arms of my false comforter-the tv. This morning during my prayer time I realized what I had done. I had forgotten all about the one who really cares for me. He would have strengthened me with his word last night but I missed it because I did what I wanted to do. I feel as if I failed a big test.
Tammy, your helping me see my idols through you bad experience. I identify with you. I seek my comfort before I seek my Lord many times too. Love and prayers for you.
Tammy,
Yes, you realized you should have turned to Him instead of the TV, but remember, your paper is already graded with an A+!
Tammy — this is so good for those who are reading this blog and are in catastrophic pain:
Every day I woke up and walked around with a deep, deep pain that could have sent me over the edge had I not become involved in regular Bible study and believed one day I would be better because God was healing me.
Love Susan’s comment to Tammy!
Wow, Tammy. The t.v. as a comforter… hadn’t thought of that one. Good.
Something that has my attention this evening is how my hands are clean and unscared.
His hands bear the scars and mine are clean for eternity. That He did this is for me is truly amazing! Thank You Jesus! What amazes me even more is that I sense that He delighted to do this for me. I can’t explain.
This is so profound, Anne. Thanks for sharing it. I needed that today.
Praise God!
Couldn’t sleep last night, so I listened again to Keller’s sermon on Jeremiah 2. Just keep gleaning more and more.
I spent yesterday busy around the house, but didn’t make time for God except to listen to a little Christian radio. It amazes me how little time it takes away from Him to begin, like a sheep, to wander away.
For my thought life to drift to unrighteous thoughts. To slip into daydreaming. To start to feel so “anti” anything good. Can anyone relate? No wonder I couldn’t sleep.
I loved Keller’s prayer at the end of the sermon, that this teaching would be the first step in a journey that ends in the arms of Jesus. That is my prayer this morning.
I like his depiction of the reason we’re so busy running to our idols is that we are trying to cover ourselves, to make ourselves spiritually beautiful, like a bride with her dress and ornaments, making herself beautiful and trying to hide her imperfections.
And then God says He’s not only going to give us what we need to be spiritually beautiful, but He says I am that, I can be that for you.
I go to my “lover gods” to try to convince myself I’m beautiful, while God says look in the mirror and see how beautiful you are in My sight because of what My Son has done for you!
And that I must actively find ways to make it spiritually real what Jesus has done for me – I can’t be passive about it.
This view of the soul and this view of God is the stuff of “real Christianity”. That God wants to be the center of my heart, the lover of my soul; the sexual metaphor in Jeremiah of what closure between my soul and God’s will be like. Truly, I’ve never heard this preached from any pulpit before.
Praying for you Joyce this morning for your back surgery!
Thank you, Susan. I’m never up this early! Kendra is sleeping and she understands what mommy is doing. Maurice is here for her. I’ve got a ride coming for me soon. Just had to read from the word and check everyone here! Love to you all, thank you for praying! Joyce
I can so relate,
“To start to feel so “anti” anything good.”
This really resonated with me. When I came back from FL. I was pretty down, my inclination was not to resume her with this study, I want to wallow in my pain.
Well come on back and we will lift each other up and encourage one another!
6. This study is making me see that all of my idols are destructive desires and I am learning to identify the idols by asking the questions Keller taught, such as “what defines me”, or when something is taken away and I get angry or afraid. I want to get so that when I recognize I’m in the embrace of an idol, I’ll push its arms away and run back into the safe arms of Jesus. I’m learning that the arms of idols are dangerous.
Amen to that!
Ladies, I downloaded the Keller sermons i bought onto my computer for my husband to download onto one of his technical gadgets. (sorry I can’t remember the name of the gadget.) Anyway, he listened to Keller’s doctrine of election yesterday and then is going to listen to the other three on idols. I am SO EXCITED to know that my husband is going to listen to what has encouraged, freed and built me up and we can be on the same page whenever I talk to him about it. :-)
That is exciting — I will pray! Surely an evidence of his love for you and His Lord.
Dee, Yes it is! SERIOUSLY, THANKS for praying..With my husband, every time I have prayed and asked God to quicken his heart, HE DOES. My husband is sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s quickening..I have seen it time and time again. He comes home and usually says, “You know, I have changed my mind. Here is why.” and he tells me something God showed him. My heart flips over when I see Him drawing my husband closer to Him. SO..keep praying when God brings it to mind, I covet your prayers!!
I just asked him if he has listened to the idolatry ones and he said he has listened to the doctrine of election and loved it..It was totally in line with what he embraced, so it was a great encouragement to him. He listened to the first two sermons on idolatry and during the third one his battery went out so he is going to listen to all three again. He works through the night throwing papers and that is when he listens. Sometimes during his day job he listens too. I think he said he will listen today. That is how he gets in the word because of his two jobs he doesn’t have time to really read it on his own..He also listens to pastor Tom Nelson of Denton Bible church in Denton, Tx. A LOT as well.
Oh I love Tommy Nelson! I heard him live in college (in TX) several times and miss being able to get him on radio. Hi Song of Solomon series is amazing.
My husband has been listening to the Keller messages with me as well–I think Keller’s humility appeals to men—he has such depth and strength mixed with such honest humility…it’s been so good for us to share this! He even passed on one of the sermons to his (Christian) boss!
I love your story. I love it that God changes our mind and our mate’s when we are open to Him. What a blessing.
Now reading Thomas Chalmers..Wish I could underline. There are two things I will copy so far that i liked:
It is not enough, then,
that you dissipate the charm by your moral
and eloquent and affecting exposure of its
illusiveness. You must address to the eye of
his mind another object, with a charm
powerful enough to dispossess the first of its
influence, and to engage him in some other
prosecution as full of interest and hope and congenial activity as the former.
And this:
But what can not be thus destroyed, may be
dispossest—and one taste may be made to
give way to another, and to lose its power
entirely as the reigning affection of the mind.
It is thus that the boy ceases, at length, to be
the slave of his appetite; but it is because a
manlier taste has now brought it into subordination, and that the youth ceases to
idolize pleasure; but it is because the idol of wealth has become the stronger and gotten the ascendency, and that even the love of money ceases to have the mastery over the heart of many a thriving citizen; but it is because, drawn into the whirl of city politics, another affection has been wrought into his moral system, and he is now lorded over by the love of power. There is not one of these
transformations in which the heart is left without an object. Its desire for one
particular object may be conquered; but as to its desire for having some
one object or other, this is unconquerable.
Such is the grasping tendency of the human heart, that it must have a something to lay hold of—and which, if wrested away without the substitution of another something in its place, would leave a void and a vacancy as painful to the mind as hunger is to the natural system.
- Wow what a great explanation of the natural condition of the human heart! Our hearts are always drawn to some sort of affection, then when that affection is taken away or we conquer it, we replace it with another..and we go on and on..if it is wrestled away without a substitution of something in it’s place, it would leave a deeply painful void and vacancy to the mind. Like hunger is to the natural system.-loved that word picture.
On I read.
So proud of you Rebecca. I was beginning to wonder if the old English was too hard for people — and it may be — but if some of you get it, I’m so glad.
It is kind of hard Dee, I have to do it in the morning when my mind is not tired. But I think it is very worth it.
Idolize pleasure. I had not thought of that, Rebecca. It makes me think about our world and it’s constant mode of pleasure seeking. Last night I was tempted to eat after supper and I reasoned for awhile. This morning I concluded that it’s not that eating would be sinful but am I seeking to make pleasure an idol.
Chalmers is a challenge to “get” and I love a challenge!
Kim, Wow..Excellent observation when you were tempted to eat after dinner!
No doubt! My mind was flushed even with how we are doing that with our children. We are innundated with this pressure in our culture, but unknowingly I think we can cause them to stumble because their hearts are naturally bent to desire pleasure more so than God. Hmmm…lots to think about here.
It isa bit hard to get through because of the language, so I struggled, but it sure is coming together as I read it, even if i missed some things..The core is there. I think the Holy Spirit is helping me to understand.
I can’t get over how sharp these people were back then, and how this sermon was taught in a time I am sure, where legalism abounded.
Wow..I am only on page seven but here is a thought I had so far:
We can point out that the reason why we don’t go after the things of the world is because they are worthless, or we point out why they are worthless and destructive to our souls, but it doesn’t stop there. We then go to another we think isn’t worthless but excellent and that becomes where our love and affection lies..It could be a ‘good thing’..like our role as a wife or mom.
This is just a thought I am drawing out of this so far.
I am still here. I have been reading and following your thoughts.
I decided last minute to go with our High School Senior Class on its trip to Disney World which I had organized but did not plan to attend. My husband was going and at the last minute I became anxious about being home alone.
It was an emotional time, that place holds so many memories for us. I do long for the day when those memories will be sweet and not so terribly painful. I hope this will happen eventually.
I started a new job this week, an easy one working at a concession stand at our outdoor YMCA pool. A huge pay cut, but hopefully a safe place to get back into a routine.
3. Read James 1:13-15 carefully.
Matthew Henry commentary on James 14-15
“II. We are taught where the true cause of evil lies, and where the blame ought to be laid (Jam_1:14): Every man is tempted (in an ill sense) when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. In other scriptures the devil is called the tempter, and other things may sometimes concur to tempt us; but neither the devil nor any other person or thing is to be blamed so as to excuse ourselves; for the true original of evil and temptation is in our own hearts. The combustible matter is in us, though the flame may be blown up by some outward causes. And therefore, if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it, Pro_9:12. Observe here, 1. The method of sin in its proceeding. First it draws away, then entices. As holiness consists of two parts – forsaking that which is evil and cleaving to that which is good, so these two things, reversed, are the two parts of sin. The heart is carried from that which is good, and enticed to cleave to that which is evil. It is first by corrupt inclinations, or by lusting after and coveting some sensual or worldly thing, estranged from the life of God, and then by degrees fixed in a course of sin. 2. We may observe hence the power and policy of sin. The word here rendered drawn away signifies a being forcibly haled or compelled. The word translated enticed signifies being wheedled and beguiled by allurements and deceitful representations of things, exelkominos kai deleazomenos. There is a great deal of violence done to conscience and to the mind by the power of corruption: and there is a great deal of cunning and deceit and flattery in sin to gain us to its interests. The force and power of sin could never prevail, were it not for its cunning and guile. Sinners who perish are wheedled and flattered to their own destruction. And this will justify God for ever in their damnation, that they destroyed themselves. Their sin lies at their own door, and therefore their blood will lie upon their own heads. 3. The success of corruption in the heart (Jam_1:15): Then, when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin; that is, sin being allowed to excite desires in us, it will soon ripen those desires into consent, and then it is said to have conceived. The sin truly exists, though it be but in embryo. And, when it has grown it its full size in the mind, it is then brought forth in actual execution. Stop the beginnings of sin therefore, or else all the evils it produces must be wholly charged upon us. 4. The final issue of sin, and how it ends: Sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. After sin is brought forth in actual commissions, the finishing of it (as Dr. Manton observes) is its being strengthened by frequent acts and settled into a habit. And, when the iniquities of men are thus filled up, death is brought forth. There is a death upon the soul, and death comes upon the body. And, besides death spiritual and temporal, the wages of sin is eternal death too. Let sin therefore be repented of and forsaken, before it be finished.”
I thought this commentary was rich.
I was turning over the soil in my flower bed recently where it appeared weeds had been seeded on purpose as there were so many of them. I was glad I got to it while the ground was soft and wet from all the rain we had and while the weeds were just seedlings, thinking how much more difficult the task would have been once the weeds were established. Fits nicely with these thoughts on sin.
I had once given a small message to women about self pity and how it was like a weed in my garden that I sometimes didn’t recognize as a weed. I was feeding and tending something I should have destroyed. I ended that message with the thought that I am useless to God and his purposes when I am focused on myself,and with a prayer that I would grow more familiar with my Sheppard’s voice.
so glad you are back, Chris. Such rich contemplations! I’m sure you will be the fragrance of Christ at the concession stands.
I loved this from Matthew Henry — another “old guy” who got it!
The combustible matter is in us, though the flame may be blown up by some outward causes.
Chris S.
I was listening to Nancy Guthrie on The Gospel Coalition and she said our suffering can be a gift to the body of Christ. Your suffering has enlarged your soul and you are a gift to us. I remember when you wrote, a few posts back:
I tried to write something last night and earlier this morning but could not, I wept as I read your responses. I was convinced that my mess would not be welcome and that I would be rejected. I have such a hard time asking for/receiving comfort. I have always been the one who comforts others.
Dee you mentioned Jesus weeping with Mary at Lazarus tomb. I have thought a lot about that passage and hoped that he was weeping in sympathy for all of us, for how much pain death brings and has brought through the ages.
Renee I understand this statement of yours so well;
“I was in enough grief that I couldn’t sort everything out. And even though Comfort is an idol that causes problems, I was desperate enough then that the comforts of this world seemed meaningless. I only could go to God, because where else was I gonna go??”
Grief has clarified that nothing here in this life can satisfy me, I hope that I will allow my pain to make me more like Christ, and that I will be useful for the kingdom, but I honestly just wish I could exit earth now.”
I must say I feel right now more confused than enlarged.
But I am allowing myself now not to need to understand it all.
Thank you Dee and Rebecca for the encouragement.
We are loving you, praying for you.
Oh my I am going into the meat of it now..I hesitate to post anymore, but this is SO GOOD..
This, we trust, will explain the operation
of that charm which accompanies the
effectual preaching of the gospel. The love of
God, and the love of the world, are two
affections, not merely in a state of rivalship,
but in a state of enmity, and that so
irreconcilable that they can not dwell
together in the same bosom….
The only way to dispossess it (the heart) of an old affection is by the
expulsive power of a new one.
to live without hope is to
live without God, and if the heart be without
God the world will then have all the
ascendency.
It is God apprehended by the
believer as God in Christ who alone can dispost it from this ascendency.
O.K. I will stop or I will flood this blog with too much..This is SO good I can see why we should read it through first then look at it closer again.
“He, the God of love, so sets Himself forth in characters of endearment that naught
but faith, and naught but understanding are wanting, on your part, to call forth the love of your hearts back again.” This has been my experience!
Chris S.
I wish I could give you a big hug. I can’t imagine what you must be going through in your grief..Your situation has been only in nightmares to me and I just can’t fathom the kind of pain you are experiencing, but I will pray for you dear sister. I pray God will give you an extra measure of grace as you walk this journey. I am so sorry this happened.
ONLY THE GOSPEL CAN EXTIRPATE THE DESIRES OF WORLDLINESS!! I looked up what extirpate meant..It means to root out, to destroy totally..
But he has a truth in his possession, which into whatever heart it enters will, like the rod of Aaron, swallow up them all (worldly desires); and unqualified as he may be to describe the old man in all the nicer shading of his natural and constitutional varieties, with him is deposited that ascendant influence under which the leading tastes and tendencies of the old man are destroyed, and he becomes a new creature in Jesus Christ our Lord.
setting our affections on the things that are above; and of walking by
faith; and of keeping our hearts in such a love of God as shall shut out from them the love of the world; and of having no confidence in the flesh; and of so renouncing earthly things as to have our conversation in heaven.
-this is what I am experiencing now. I have found in this journey what is blooming, although not perfect yet, that my desires for the things of this world are waning. I find my interest in the things that entertained me, or the things I thought would ‘make my day’ while I can still enjoy them, are no longer the things I have to have. I don’t ‘have’ to have them to be ‘fulfilled’. I am finding this fulfillment in Jesus-BUT I didn’t start out to eradicate them first..What came first was finding my satisfaction in Jesus and then these other things naturally became less..HARD to put into words, but I think you all might understand as many of us here are experiencing this! :)
I said I would stop..OOPS!! ;-) Love you gals..I am going to read the rest and then get off and let someone else comment on this! :-)
We love your comments, Rebecca! It’s not like you are in a regular Bible study where you have to be careful how much you talk — this is different — so don’t stop!
Oh Dee, I was thinking today, as I was talking to my husband and he was expressing what he was learning from Keller’s sermons, that I interrupt WAY too much when he is talking and sometimes he doesn’t get a chance to finish. Then I go on a five minute sermon..My poor husband. God opened my eyes today. I get so excited I have to just tell it all. I do it on here too sometimes. but you are right this is different than a regular Bible Study..A great place for people like me. ;-)
Oh I am loving Chalmers too–it takes me a few reads per paragraph (!) but I do love the old English!
Loved this:
We know of no other way
by which to keep the love of the world out of
our heart than to keep in our hearts the love
of God—and no other way by which to keep
our hearts in the love of God, than by
building ourselves on our most holy faith.
That denial of the world which is not
possible to him that dissents from the gospel
testimony, is possible, even as all things are
possible, to him that believeth. To try this
without faith is to work without the right tool
or the right instrument. But faith worketh by
love; and the way of expelling from the heart
the love that transgresseth the law is to admit
into its receptacles the love which fulfilleth
the law.
Elizabeth, EXCELLENT!! I was looking at you tube videos just now because I don’t feel like doing laundry..yikes! Anyway, I came across a Rich Mullins song: http://youtu.be/72L-bDOozNY
“There’s more that rises in the morning
Than the sun
And more that shines in the night
Than just the moon
It’s more than just this fire here
That keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger
Than this room
And there’s a loyalty that’s deeper
Than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs
That I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes
For the allegiance
I owe only to the Giver
Of all good things
So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can’t let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home
There’s more that dances on the prairies
Than the wind
More that pulses in the ocean
Than the tide
There’s a love that is fiercer
Than the love between friends
More gentle than a mother’s
When her baby’s at her side
And there’s a loyalty that’s deeper
Than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs
That I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes
For the allegence
I owe only to the Giver
Of all good things
So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can’t let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home
And if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can’t let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home
LOVE that song Rebecca! I have it on a cassette…
fyi-I found this brief bio on Chalmers:
http://roxborogh.com/Articles/thomas_chalmers.htm
It was interesting to me because we had been members of an Evangelical Free Church for many years before PCA.
That really was interesting — I thought the sayins attributed to him interesting.
Greg Scharf, who teaches preaching at Trinity — the E Free Seminary says they really are returning more to Reformed roots –
Okay I have a question for you all and an idol.
My children make a mess. If they are able to clean it up themselves without any of my intervention I am okay. If I have to do it for them then I feel myself getting angry. Like I have been inconvenienced. Now would this be an idol of comfort? Since it inconvenienced me I did not have an attitude of service but one of self-entitlement (I should not have to do this). Is that what this is? I have been struggling with this one.
Thanks ladies!
Hmm…all I know is I’m right there with ya! I feel that too when I’ve told them something a zillion times and they “forget” :)
I think I have an attitude of I shouldn’t HAVE to do this! So for me, in those moments there is pride, lacking humility…
Not sure either, Angela….. I’ve cleaned up plenty of mess from 3 kids who should know how to pick up after themselves, too….
I don’t know – is everything related to an idol or is it just a matter of impatience/irritation?
Oh Angela, I think I have failed in this way at least once a day-so I struggle too. With four boys they are ALWAYS making messes and I have to tell them to clean up after themselves all the time. They do it only usually when I tell them, however my oldest has gotten a lot better at picking up after himself lately.
I think with me perhaps whenever I get angry it stemmed from a control idol regardless of the situation. Even if it doesn’t get into full blown anger I tend to say things in my head and grit my teeth. Anger is usually used as a control tool for me.
Hmmmm..After thinking a bit more, this is helping me because my ‘ultimate’ has been my boys..that is one of BIGGIES God is making me aware of lately..so it makes sense that my control idol is active here.
Ditto!
Just the other day, my son did not clean up in spite of our standing rule and reminder, and I felt angry as I picked up his toys scattered throughout our house.
We as moms want our children to be responsible, self-driven and grateful, right? When they do not clean up after themselves, it triggers numerous things in us, from thoughts on our mothering to various emotions to sheer exhaustion!
Therefore, I think it can range from just feelings of inconvenience or frustration, to being an idol, and it depends on the condition of your heart. I believe it was in one of Keller’s sermon’s, that he mentioned anger and also bitterness being associated with idols. If you find yourself acting in your anger, mumbling under your breath or being unusually brusque, an idol may be the issue.
Now that you bring it up, and thinking back to that other night when I was grumbling and brusque, for me this very well may be a power/control idol and a bit of comfort/security, too! Although I might like to tell myself it’s all practicality, the toys need to be picked up so we don’t trip or step on them and hurt ourselves, perhaps it is not.
Thanks ladies this is so helpful..Praying for each of you as well. I liked what you said too Dawn, does everything have to be an idol? I do think it all depends on the person. It is the heart. hmm. Pondering.
opps I mean what Susan said! :)
ok, had to share this, kinda funny–I was talking with my husband about the ups and downs with the kids today…and instead of my usual old “oh I just long for Heaven…”(as Anne enlightened me earlier of that being my comfort idol calling out)…I said to him “I just wish I could go be with Dee at her cabin and soak up her wisdom…” And my husband said “uh oh–think that’s your comfort idol talking again!” Kinda scary to have him so on board now he’s calling me out on this stuff ;)
Oh, he is on board. But I would love to have you at my cabin. You could play scrabble in front of the fire with me and Annie. We are having a cold windy wavy day.
Ladies,
Just an update on a previous prayer request..I e-mailed our w.t. leader to set a date for a song! I changed it to a song that REALLY spoke to me as to where I am at now, and it is in the right key..Not too high.. :-) Love to you all..
http://youtu.be/NnkJ9y8tlfU
Love the lyrics and the music, Rebecca!
6. Share a time during this study when realizing that your idol was a destructive desire helped you turn around and swim the other way.
Last night when I went to the store to get gas I, all of a sudden, wanted something to drink. It has been above normal temps for us here in south ga and a person can drink only so much water. Signs were out front advertising sodas 2 20 oz for 2 dollars. I told myself that I had not had a diet soda in a while and that was a good deal and I didn’t have to drink the whole thing at once. Well, another voice chimed in and said,”soda is man-made and man-made is not good choice, choose juice it’s God-made”. I went inside to get the drink. Yes, I lingered at the man-made soda for a brief instant before heading toward the juice. I thought about how my body really can’t tolerate soda anymore as it seems to prefer only water, juice, or milk. The man-made soda may seem to be a good deal but the price I paid for the juice was worth it because it was a God-honoring choice. Before this study my comfort/security idol would have me giving in to my craving for a diet soda but the truth I’ve learned kept me on the right course.
7. Read Thomas Chalmers essay: The Expulsive Power of a New Affection. Share one or two thoughts from it here.
When I read through the first time the one phrase that stood out was ‘The heart must have something to cling to…’ This tells me that my heart must have something to love, to think about, to enjoy. Do you think Chalmers referred to the heart as the ancient Hebrews did-the governing center for the whole man?
Another statement that caught my attention was: ‘It is not necessary that a man receive pain from anything, in order to become miserable.’
I’m glad you encouraged us to underline points in the essay. I have to admit it took a few times of reading and underlining to get what Chalmers is saying. A dictionary helped also.
His statement, ‘It is seldom that any of our tastes are made to disappear by a mere process of natural extintion.’ also resonated with me. Tv is a habit I developed as a child and I’ve been telling myself for a long time now I need to stop watching it as often as I do. But I found the more I told myself no, no, no, the more I wanted to watch because I felt as if I was missing something. For a few weeks now I haven’t been watching as much as I use to. Use to on a Friday night I would camp out in front of the tv, surf the channels, and spend precious time watching shows I had seen before. Change has come slowly and I find myself here on Friday night catching up with the study and I’m not missing the tv. So I get what Chalmers is saying. Let me know if I have this straight. I at one time loved watching tv. It was something I had given my heart to. But now, since identifying my deep idol as comfort/security and replacing it with God, I no longer love watching tv. I now want to spend my time reading God’s word and Christian authors who help me learn to love God more. I haven’t given up watching tv all together I mean it’s good to have for important information. I just don’t need to give it alot of my time.
‘Let us try every legitimate method of finding access to your hearts for the love of Him who is greater than the world. For this purpose let us, if possible, clear away that shroud of unbelief which so hides and darkens the face of Deity.’
‘The best way of casting out an impure affection is to admit a pure one; and by the love of what is good to expel the love of what is evil.’
‘Retain a single shred or fragment of legality with the gospel, and you raise a topic of distrust between man and God.’
Great job on Chalmers, Tammy!
And choosing what God led you to choose — the juice!
I’m so impressed with how you have dug into the sermons and into Chalmers. I am blessed by each of you.
Finish up your sharings, blessing Angela — excited about next week, some resources God has led me to, and meeting Elizabeth!
Dear Angela,
You say much of your ministry is encouraging others and you are encouraging! Those invisible illnesses, what a powerful and pointed descriptor, are challenging! Your post on thorns, and how you ultimately focused us on Him, was encouraging :) Thank you for sharing and for praying with me, sister!
Yours in Christ,
Dawn
Thanks Dawn. It is so great to be in a community where we are all growing in Christ together and encouraging one another. It is beautiful. Thanks for your kind words.
8. What is this week’s take-a-way?
The meaning of ‘evil desires’ was huge for me, AND my husband. Taking something good and making it an ultimate-God revealed that my boys are my ultimate. My control idol is huge in this area, but I am confident God is going to free me.
Also, the other thing that stuck with me was “God delights in me as much as He does Jesus” and that I am living in the death, buriel and resurrection of Jesus. It really changes how I approach serving or anything else when I reflect onto what Jesus did on the cross and when I remember how God delights in me. Why would I desire to cling to any worthless thing compared to Him who truly loves me?
Finally, to tie it all up for me, the Chalmers piece, really struck home with me in this as it did Elizabeth.. IN a nutshell, I can’t deny the things of this world apart from the Gospel. I can’t go into a legalistic mindset and ‘say no’ to everything first..That is going at it backwards..I must say yes to Jesus first, I must cling to Him, then I will lose slowly the desire for the things of the world as He fills my heart with His love, or as Chalmers would say:
We know of no other way
by which to keep the love of the world out of
our heart than to keep in our hearts the love
of God—and no other way by which to keep
our hearts in the love of God, than by
building ourselves on our most holy faith.
That denial of the world which is not
possible to him that dissents from the gospel
testimony, is possible, even as all things are
possible, to him that believeth. To try this
without faith is to work without the right tool
or the right instrument. But faith worketh by
love; and the way of expelling from the heart
the love that transgresseth the law is to admit
into its receptacles the love which fulfilleth
the law.
Rebecca, I love your take away from Chalmers. I think it is so true, without Him we can’t say no to our idols. There is a piece in between that is on my mind also. I remember when Marie was with us in the beginning and the struggle she shared about having difficulty loving Jesus more than diner. She was adamant that we had to endure through this part. It’s the kind of struggle that I could only endure face down on the floor. I don’t think I can explain. That initial denial of our flesh cuts so deep. I think this may have some connection with circumcision of the heart.
Speaking of anger, I caught the tail end of a Christian talk radio show about anger that really caught my interest. I think it was Chip Ingram. I have to give it a few days and then look on the internet.
Love to all of you. I’m off to the farmer’s market.
I second your sentiments, Rebecca!
As God continues to reveal my idols and what I have made ultimate, I feel overwhelmed, but rather than “going at it backwards” cling to Jesus!
Again, I think of Psalm 63:8 (NIV):
I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.
The whole Psalm is a good one! His love is better than life! All glory and praise to Him!
Also reminds me of the refrain from Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus:
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
8. What is my take-away this week?
I would have to say the Chalmers essay for one. It’s another key to understanding who I am and why I do the things I do. I also have to include Rebecca’s video. Susan’s encouragement about my paper having an A already marked gave me new perspective. And lastly, I am humbled to know God is making use of my PAST pain.
9. Bless Angela…
I visited your blog for the first time yesterday and enjoyed the current blog. Since I don’t have children I don’t keep up with modern cartoons but your take on Phineas and his friend has me wanting to take a look. I appreciate your recent reminder that there is no condemnation for me. I walk around now telling myself that over and over. You have a beautiful family. May God richly bless you as you refresh others! I’m so glad you are here.
Thanks Tammy. You are a blessing. That cartoon is so funny! You must check it out even with no children.
My takeaway this week–I, like many have shared, have made my children my ultimate, but more specifically, my children’s performance (especially my daughter). Yesterday was one of those rough days where at every turn there was deliberate disobedience from a known “rule” It’s never in a blatant defiant way, but subtle, stubborn, strong-willed sort of way!
Anyway, after 3 major melt down with my anger fuming…my husband and son were at baseball practice and I got my daughter in the car and took her to get ice cream. If you really knew me, you’d be on the floor in shock right now because I’m a control freak health nut and never go for ice cream, (another major clash between my daughter the junk food lover and I!) SO…when we got there she said: “WHY would you take me here after EVERYTHING I did today, Mamma?” It was the perfect lead in to the words God gave me: “Because my love for you has NOTHING to do with how you act.”
We went on to have the best time we’ve had in years and I interviewed her on all her favorite things….it was so healing.
Sorry to go so long–but it all ties together for me. The more I see my need for grace in this study, and His outpouring of unmerited favor–the more I start to in some tiny way GET the Gospel–the more I can give it to her.
Elizabeth,
Your above story of your day with your daughter and how she asked, “WHY would you take me here after EVERYTHING I did today, Mamma?” reminded me of a favorite book I read to my children, “The Way Mothers Are” by Miriam Schlein. You just made me smile at how you responded to your daughter, so like the “cat mama” in the book responds to her little boy cat!
WOW — AND YOUR DAUGHTER’S RESPONSE. THIS IS SO GOOD! THANKS FOR SHARING
Elizabeth, That is SO WONDERFUL. Your life is bringing God glory. As Dee said, love is hard to resist. Your daughter sees this change and knows the source. It is making a huge impact in her life!
You might laugh at how I showed love recently to my kids. Since they have been out of school all they do is fight. I have spent most of my time refereeing them, grounding them, and taking advantage of MANY opportunities to use biblical principles with them, but this time I was weary -they came up stairs complaining about how one of them accidently elbowed the other while wrestling or something silly like that. Both of them were crying and mad at each other..SO, I went into an on the spot, made up rap song. and at the end of the rap I started doing this really hokey dance.” They were both surprised and broke out laughing at me doing the dance and loved the rhymes. I know that was totally the wrong way to handle it, but maybe it taught them not to take these things so seriously.
I love this, Rebecca and it reminds me of the days when I was raising our two boys. The Holy Spirit helped me so many times to bring laughter out of tears. The fruit of righteous is coming forth in you, Elizabeth and other gals in this study. Even though my sons are 24 & 27, they are still teaching me and I them. We learn from each other. The only thing is I don’t have to pick up after them and can fully enjoy them. It’s a wonderful place to be.
“The only thing is I don’t have to pick up after them and can fully enjoy them. It’s a wonderful place to be.”
Kim T.–thank you for this encouraging, wise perspective! I’m still just looking forward to the day they can swim on their own so I can read! But it is SO helpful to hear this from you–so much further down this road–what a gift you have given your children!
This is so neat! Praise God for His goodness and how He is working in all of His children!
Elizabeth this helps build my faith!
I am blessed by your great response to your daughter.
I have to make a slight correction..I left out that in losing my ‘desires’ for the world..When I cling to Jesus and He becomes the ultimate, then the things of the world I felt I ‘had’ to have will start having their proper place, and I can live with or without them.
9. BLESS ANGELA
Angela, I visited your blog yesterday and there is so much neat stuff! You are one of those rare women who are FOR other women, to bring out the best in other women and to encourage them. I definitely see you as an encourager. You bless us with your insightful answers.
You have a beautiful family and I love the picture of all of you walking together!
Susan you are a blessing. Thank you for your kind words.
What I mean that you are FOR women is that all too often, women get caught up in cattiness and jealousy and competition among themselves. I think it is a gift to be a woman who truly loves other women and wants to bring out the best in them and help them to be all God created them to be!
I was not always this way. I have learned a lot of hard lessons especially in this Christian circle of speaking/writing. I think if we are all focused on Christ then there is no room for that jealousy. As Scripture says, The harvest it plentiful and the workers are few, ask the Lord of the Harvest to bring our workers. Amen?!
7. I printed off the Chalmer’s sermon last night and got through about half of it. So far so good – it really helps pull all of what we’re learning from Dee and from Keller together.
I like how he describes how the heart must have something to pursue – if you tell someone to just forget about their pursuits (worldly) because they’re worthless or frivolous and deprive the heart of a new and more attractive pursuit, the person just ends up depressed and despondent!
Like Tammy says, reading this helps me understand why I do the things I do.
Will try to finish reading it today, and re-reading….
7. I’m not quite thru Chalmers yet but will try to finish today. Love it so far!