CURVATURE OF THE SOUL
MARTIN LUTHER USED THE PHRASE “CURVATURE OF THE SOUL”
THIS BENT WE HAVE TOWARD REJECTING THE GOSPEL
FORGETTING HOW SINFUL WE ARE OURSELVES
AND HOW DESPERATE FOR GRACE
SO THAT OUR LIVES ARE FILLED WITH “UNGRACE”
LIKEWISE
HEBREWS WARNS AGAINST “A ROOT OF BITTERNESS”
WHEN YOU GIVE INTO HATE
IT FESTERS AND GROWS
AND TWISTS YOUR SOUL,
DEFILING MANY
TIM KELLER SAYS THAT THE WORD FOR
WRATH
HAS THE SAME ORIGIN AS
WREATH
MEANING “TO TWIST”
JUST AS BRANCHES ARE TWISTED TO MAKE A WREATH
SO OUR SOULS CAN BE TWISTED BY WRATH
LIKEWISE THE WORD
WRAITHE
DESCRIBES A GHOST THAT WAS SO TWISTED
BY BITTERNESS IN LIFE
THAT IN THE AFTERLIFE HE CONTINUES HIS HELLISH EXISTENCE
HAUNTING AND HATING
FOREVERMORE
WHEN JUDAH, TWISTED WITH HATE FOR HIS DAUGHTER-IN-LAW TAMAR,
DISCOVERED SHE HAD COMMITTED ADULTERY
HE COMMANDED SHE BE BURNED TO DEATH
HOSEA PROPHESIED THAT A DAY WAS COMING WHEN
THAT DOUBLE STANDARD WOULD NOT BE TOLERATED, FOR HE SAID
JESUS FULFILLED THAT WHEN THE PHARISEES
BROUGHT A WOMAN (AND ONLY THE WOMAN) CAUGHT IN ADULTERY
HE WOULD NOT ALLOW HER ACCUSERS TO STONE HER
YET AMAZINGLY, OUR LORD CARES NOT ONLY ABOUT THE OPPRESSED
BUT THE OPPRESSER
HE WANTED TO BREAK THROUGH TO JUDAH
SO THAT HE WOULD NOT BE ETERNALLY TWISTED
BUT SET FREE
This is such an eye-opening passage and sermon from Keller. I have thought about the women participating in this blog who have been deeply hurt by someone. I think about the individuals who have brought great pain into the life of someone I love. I tend to fester and hate. My curvature of the soul leads me to begin to characterize that person as an evil person, throwing darts in them as Judah did with Tamar. That is not to say that there was not real sin involved (as there was in Tamar) but that we can augment it, stereotyping, and refusing to look at the sin in ourselves. We must guard our hearts when we have been hurt and not give the devil a foothold.
Oh Father, may I and each woman doing this study be open to Your reproval, and to turn from the darkness to the light, “so that what is lame may not be put our of joint but rather healed.” (Hebrews 12:13) Help our souls to untwist and glorify You
SUNDAY/MONDAY ICEBREAKER
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
2. Most of us, like Judah, have hated, have experienced this twisting of our soul.
Can you share a time when God “broke through” to help you recognize your own wrong?
MONDAY-WEDNESDAY BIBLE STUDY: THE RESCUE OF JUDAH
(Sing this as a prayer)
(This is a continuation of last week — so if you just joined us, read last week’s blog on Tamar.)
3. Meditate on Hebrews 12:14-15
A. What command are we given?
B. What warning? (Find warnings within the warning!)
Keller traces a phrase “Haker na” or “Recognize” When Judah and his brothers threw Joseph in the pit, they brought his coat to Jacob, saying “Haker na?” — Do you recognize this? When Judah accused Tamar of adultery, she sent him his staff, and asked, “Haker na?” — Do you recognize this?
4. Review Genesis 38:24-26
A. How did Judah respond in verse 26?
B. This statement is both surprising and profound. What are some of the applications that you see in this statement?
C. What change do you see in Judah that indicated the untwisting of his soul? (Look carefully and give phrases.)
Joseph becomes a Prime Minister in Egypt and the brothers do not know it. They travel to Egypt to ask for food in a time of barrenness, and Joseph tests their hearts to see if there has been a change. He tricks them by putting a silver cup in Benjamin’s sack of grain. He tells them he will let them go, but will keep Benjamin. (Benjamin is the only other son of Rachel, Joseph’s full brother.)
5. Read Genesis 44:16-34
Find phrases that show that Judah’s soul has been untwisted — that he now has a heart of compassion.
Thursday-Friday: Listen again to the following and then answer the questions. It’s free. It looks like you will pay, but you won’t have to.
HERE’S THE LINK TO THE SERMON ON TAMAR: LINK
6. Why did Hosea 4:14 say that God would not punish the women caught in adultery? What does this tell you?
7. Keller said that what Judah was saying was not that Tamar was innocent, but that he was more guilty. What thoughts
do you have about this?
8. Keller said that Judah needed to believe bad things about Tamar. He was continually “sticking pins” in her in his mind. Have you done that with anyone? Has the Lord broken through to you?
9. How does Keller (as only Keller can do) have Judah point to the “ultimate” Judah?
Saturday:
10. What is your take-a-way and why?
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
All of this is so very powerful. The video clip. I could write a page on that (but I won’t!) Oh, how often I am the woman. Caught by my own sin, and deep in the bit of shame. But He rescues me there. He reminds me that He has paid for my sin, and if I repent, He does not judge-He forgives. And how often I have been the stone-thrower, in my self-righteous stance, pointing out the sin of others and how much worse it is that=n my own But again He speaks truth-that pierces, that enlightens, that breaks through. The men in the clip are not angered by his words, but humbled. The truth sets all free—all through grace. The reminder—that when a dart is thrown at me, to not just respond with hurt, defense, bitterness—but allow Him to use it. To reveal my own sin, always present in some way-to break me, mold me, make me more of who He created me to be. I so appreciate Dee’s prayer at the end. And I will never look at a wreath quite the same :)
You always so encourage me, Elizabeth.
Oh Elizabeth, you always seem to be able to put things down on print just like I feel, but can’t quite say it! Love you heart
So just in case anyone is wondering, i’think I finally “get” Tamar thanks to Tim Keller :)
oh, this made me smile, Laura! Keller has a true gift for helping me see things as I NEVER did before :)
I”m so glad!!! Doing a little dance! Love you.
Laura, I’m so glad! By the way, what is your gravatar picture you have, I can’t make it out!
It’s my cap, tassel, and “hood” from graduatiion in December ;)
A late “Congratulations” to you!
Thanks Joyce!
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
“A root of bitterness” festers and grows and twists your soul when you give into bitterness and hate….our soul can be twisted by wrath (Webster’s New World Dictionary…”wrath”: intense anger; rage; fury).
My curvature of the soul leads me to begin to characterize that person as an evil person…not to say that there was not real sin involved (as there was in Tamar) but that we can augment it, stereotyping, and refusing to look at the sin in ourselves. We must guard our hearts when we have been hurt and not give the devil a foothold.
How convicting… Once again I am reminded quite clearly how an other’s “real sin” is compounded by my judgment (my own sin)…how bitterness and resentment I hold, however subtly, ARE twisting my soul. I am reminded that I must be vigilant to NOT give way to impure thoughts (judgment, bitterness, resentment, etc.)…this allows the evil one to twist at my soul.
I couldn’t help noticing Keith Green’s “Create in me a clean heart” YouTube insert…Psalm 51:10 is the verse I have chosen for this year…it is my prayer to God. At times I feel overwhelmed with all the areas of me that need an overhaul…I ask (berate?) myself… HOW can I fool myself into thinking that impure feelings have been reconciled in my heart when with the smallest catalyst they so easily surface…obviously there IS still some root yet lodged in my heart…I pray for the Lord to “create in me a pure heart”…I pray this with a conglomeration of feelings: eagerness, expectancy, fear…trusting that the Lord is the potter and I am the clay and hoping that I am moldable.
Love having you and your tender heart here.
Such good insight.
I have been trying to figure out what is the difference between being pure in heart, not holding on to something and just not thinking about it. I think that I have forgiven and matured, then something happens and the wrong done against me comes right to the surface. When this happens my first thought is always, I thought that I was over this. I guess I was just not thinking about it, stuffing it. I need to think about it, sort it out, so I can put it to rest. Then I start obsessing and getting even more upset about it.
I think “pure in heart” means that when you think about things that are/were hurtful, rather than thinking bitter, resentful thoughts, your mind thinks more gracious thoughts (thinking the best of the person, being forgiving of his/her shortcomings). I too struggle with thinking that I am “over” hurts only to realize that they still have the capacity to move me to less than kind thoughts. I just keep praying for God to create in me a pure heart…to transform me into the likeness of Jesus. I try to hold captive my thoughts and not allow myself to obsess over past hurts…sometimes I’m successful and other times not so much… I think as you mentioned, the “less than successful” times are often when I have “stuffed it” rather than fully dealing with it…allowing God to deal with me…
Nanci-I am so sorry for the pain you suffered with your divorce–but I see how God has used your struggles to refine you–to make you “pure in heart”. I am so thankful He has brought you here–you have so much wisdom to share.
Dawn MS,
I don’t know about the pure in heart part (I don’t think I have attained that) but the not holding onto something vs the just not thinking about it is something I have had in my face a number of times. I thought I had forgiven, then something happens and it’s in my face again. I would then try to figure out why I had thought about it, analyze it to figure out what part of it was the issue that was bothering me. Then eventually a thought hit me, that when it comes to the forefront and I spend time going over it…that time is time I am not focusing on the Lord. I wondered then if it was Satan trying to dredge up the painful part of my past and by doing that he is turning my gaze away from God and onto the painful event. I found that when I start analyzing, that if I turn and start singing (always in my head)that whatever the issue is fades into the background. It is hard to do this at first as it really takes a conscious decision to change ones focus, but I found that the more I did this, the painful issue “cropped up” less and less and when it did, it didn’t bother me as much. I was able to look at it, say, oh you again and then put it to rest.
I am not sure that those issues ever truly go away as they are part of our past, part of our memory and they are in our brains somewhere. But the more I am able to change my focus quickly, the less I think about them and the more they go to rest. I have not yet reached the point where they never impact my feelings, but I am so much more at peace with them, that they don’t form part of my present.
Thank you Nanci and Mary.
How convicting… Once again I am reminded quite clearly how an other’s “real sin” is compounded by my judgment (my own sin)…how bitterness and resentment I hold, however subtly, ARE twisting my soul. I am reminded that I must be vigilant to NOT give way to impure thoughts (judgment, bitterness, resentment, etc.)…this allows the evil one to twist at my soul.
This is so good! so often my sin of judgement is even bigger then the sin I am judging!
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
This lesson is the very thing that God has been convicting me about. It is a constant battle these days.
My prayer is from the words of an old hymn called “Love Divine”:
“Take away our bent to sinning … set our hearts at liberty.”
I thought of you with this Diane — and Krista — such a hard time — prayers coming over you.
Oh I need this weeks lesson so bad! I love the twisted trees (the first picture) and had to copy it to save. They remind me of; myself growing up staight and tall and proud of myself untill my life took a bend; from a teenager trying to rape me at 5 years old, then married to an abuser at 17 and nearly killed by him before I could excape, then married whith three babies and left like a pile of garbage to stuggle on my own…with my youngest disabled. Both husbands cheated on me too. My heart hated men so badly. My bend went completely sideways then, but slowly tried to grow upright again as I gave my heart to Jesus and was saved from all my sins, through his glorious grace and tender love.
Five years after being a single parent, through help of my family and Dee (she got me the job and gave gift’s for the kids for christma’s) and the Doctor’s at the clinic (they gave me insurance for Kendra that I wouldn’t of gotten for a whole year, with her pre-excisting condition…and insured us all) This all blew me away, how christian people were so loving and giving from their heart. I was a new christian and knew Dee from her bible studies. I worked at the clinic for ten years untill I quit to do daycare and home schooled Kendra, because of abuse in the day care she was in.
“HEBREWS WARNS AGAINST “A ROOT OF BITTERNESS”
WHEN YOU GIVE INTO HATE
IT FESTERS AND GROWS
AND TWISTS YOUR SOUL,
DEFILING MANY” (taken fron this weeks lesson)
After being so abused by men, I gave into hate and it did fester and grow and twisted my soul. And hate has a way of making you feel awful inside…the anger grows and grows untill you have to just spill it all out to God as you can’t stand it any longer. I have forgiven my ex’s and the grown man that was a teenages back then. But I do still get angry at abuse I see in the world, but I pray about it and turn it all over to the Lord and trust him to take care of it, because I can’t. But if God gives me something that I can do…like reporting the nursing home and getting Hospice or helping and loving special needs kids (I had in my day care for 15 years), or taking care of Kendra for the Lord or something that I CAN do…I’m helping in my own little way. I’m giving my lunch that way. I may hate what I see, but I don’t carry that hate with me. It will distroy you.
Oh how I love that song by Keith Green, Dee! I’ve never heard it before. How beautiful!! Thank you for sharing that and every lesson you do…even tho I can’t actually do all the lesson’s, I learn so much by reading all of your comments and get to pray for all of you.
Maurice is better! He made the turn for the good..Praise be to God and all of you that prayed! Thank You! Kendra is much better…just a lingering cough and I’m feeling worse…but not as bad as they were yet. We all have the medicine, so hopefully I won’t get it bad, as I have to care for Kendra. I help her in the bathroom and shower all the time as she doesn’t want daddy to help, so it’s much harder for me when I’m sick. It’s not because I’m chicken and just don’t want it!
By the way, when I married Maurice, he took on three kids with his own two at home yet and has been the best daddy ever. Kendra and Maurice are very close and he is so proud of her and takes her everywhere with him, and gives me a break. Someone said to him once….”Why do you always have her with you?….why don’t you put her in a home somewhere?” He about come unglued! He just said..”She is in a home..our home..where she belongs.”
By the way…my tree is straight and humble now (thought I was going to say proud didn’t you?!!)
Joyce this add on made me smile! Praying for your health and strength today!
Your words truly touched me, Joyce. I, too, hated men (in general) for a long time, and it became worse in November, but after I gave my ALL to Him, in the psych ward, November 19th, He has truly healed my heart.
I’m so glad Maurice is feeling better, and my prayers are with you that you don’t become too sick!
Krista
Joyce, you are such a joy. I am so glad that you did not remain in bitterness and hate, that would have been so easy to do. If you had, then I would not have the encouragement that your words and posts have made to me personally over the past number of weeks. I know that it is much easier to stay inside of what we know than to take a step out side and seek something else. It is a risk to take that step as one never knows what awaits you outside of that wall, but it is an important and so worth it to take that risk. Life is so much better once we step out side of the hate and bitterness, I smile a whole lot more.
I am also glad that Maurice and Kendra are both doing better.
Oh Joyce I’m so sorry for all that you went thru but so happy for you that you found The Lord and Maurice to brighten up your world. What a joy you are and so look forward to seeing your posts and the pictures on facebook of Kendra. Praying you all continue to feel better.
Joyce you are such a testimony — for I know few who have been wronged as you were, but you forgave — and are a beautiful soul.
AND SO THANKFUL MAURICE IS BETTER! JUST PRAYED FOR HIM BEFORE I CAME ON…
Joyce,
When you speak, we pay attention, because you have something important to say…nothing speaks louder than your own life and the journey you describe here and you’ve shared with us before. It’s not just “advice”, it’s the road you’ve walked, and you freely admit the times when you did give into hate, but share how the Lord freed you from it, too. So it gives hope and encouragement.
We love you so much, Joyce – you are a true friend to all and an encourager and always praying for us, too. I’m praying that you will be physically well, too, and thankful Maurice and Kendra are better.
Wow! What a story. Praise God you are where you are now :) glad everyone is better, but start drinking your orange juice to ward off those bugs yourself Joyce !
Oh Joyce…Maurice sounds like he is a gift from God. Reading how he blended both of your families so beautifully and with such love just filled my heart to overflowing…
So glad to hear that Maurice is feeling better and Kendra is still heading in the right direction…but sad to hear that you are starting to feel worse; hopefully you won’t get the full-blown cold…I’ll be praying for your immune system. Take good care.
Joyce, you are so beautiful. The way you have not allowed years of pain, more than I can imagine, thrown at you-so undeserved-but you ” don’t carry that hate with me” –what an example you are. Love you Joyce, and so thankful Maurice and Kendra are on the mend–still praying you stay well!
Joyce,
You truly are an inspiration. Praying you will all be healed.
I appreciate you Joyce and your testimony. :)
It’s so easy to give into anger and bitterness because forgiveness on the surface seems like injustice toward me. But forgiveness is not about me, it’s about what is right. It’s about allowing that Spirit you have dwelling within you to lead, to guide you into what is right. Submit.
This is a life lesson for me, to let go of past offenses and let Christ lead me.
it breaks my heart to think all you have gone through…this was such an encouraging post. thanks for sharing it.
I am praying for you to be able to stay well so you can take care of K, but if you get sick please let someone else help!
I am glad God gave you and the kids Maurice!
Wow -the photo of the crooked trees really made me think about how in the midst of bitterness I often look around/seek others who are bitter and judgemental and think its “ok” feeling justified in my anger. It is easier to look around at other humans and soak in/dwell on their flaws and how they have wronged me. I want to desire to only look upwards to my Father to establish the standard, the straight and upright life I yearn to live.
I have experienced hurt and in those times I have sought the companionship of others who would whine with me about the damage and the evil doer. In doing so I can see how I allowed my bitterness to fester and poison myself and those around me. Dee’s prayer that our souls may untwist and glorify God is so powerful and I also pray that for all of us.
I can now visualize a field of straight growing trees, the beautiful sisters I am surrounding myself with and the strength in their purpose to grow closer to God each day. How blessed I am to have accountability and support with each of you.
Becca, you have been such a blessing to all of us…love you, sister!
Joyce your words of encouragement really fed me this morning. We have been struggling with the concept (lies from satan) that we must be perfect in our walk to bless others. It’s so odd because I recognize others battles as a method of blessing myself and others. I sometimes hesitate and avoid writing my thoughts/feelings because they are so imperfect. What a gift that we are all here seeking. My husband has been studying to be a chaplain and was asked to meet with a panel regarding a position as a minister. He immediately started saying, I am not ready -I have to get this and that area of my life fixed first. It was interesting to me because we are basically set up to look for the finish line, the completed project but in our faith it is never completed until God calls us home. When I read the testimonies of very established and great Christian leaders I am most surprised by the fact they never feel completed, they continue to feel there is more they can do to grow closer to God. I do not want my inadequacies and imperfections to block me/paralyzing me from performing the work. I keep avoiding ministry at the local shelter because I may not be good enough or far enough advanced to do “good”. My fear of doing poorly keeps me from doing anything. Which logically i know that my good is never good enough! It is only in Christ I can actually provide anything of value. I thank God that anything I may have said or written can give hope to others. I so want to be an overflowing vessel of His love.
Becca, don’t wait, just go for it, because God will have your back. There is so much you and your husband can offer other’s, that need it so bad. Praying for you!
This was just posted on the FB page for the shelter we donate to- funny how the message is getting louder and clearer!
Project Hope for the Homeless
”Everybody can be great… because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve…You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Becca oh how I can relate to where you said “I have experienced hurt and in those times I have sought the companionship of others who would whine with me about the damage and the evil doer”. It is so much easier to “tag” along with those who agree with us even when we are wrong. I’ve had to remove myself from being around them so I wouldn’t continue to be negative myself.
Becca & Julie,
I too can relate to hanging with those that whine with us, and let us justify our thoughts and feelings. I have so much to learn from all of you. It keeps me on the straight and narrow path just reading all of your responses. Oh how I need to grow.
Wow….I felt very broken after reading all that is written above, and especially after watching the video clip. Especially after something that happened in my life in November I truly felt like that woman. So many around me were condemning me, and some still are, yet Jesus hasn’t. He wrapped me in his safe, strong arms, and has never let me go. The hurt is still very much there, but I have Him holding me up. Still praying for healing with certain relationships in my life, but I need to keep trusting Him, despite what seems hopeless at times.
I heard a song on the radio the other day and it spoke to my heart, it’s exactly where I am right now in my life. What if the healing, doesn’t come (from our human perspective)? I *will* still trust Him. He’s still faithful. I will keep holding tight to Him.
http://youtu.be/upjfdeiowrs
Krista, I’m so sorry for what you are having to deal with and for the people that think they are God and can judge and condemn you when even the most High does not. You are making great progress in knowing who you can turn to and trust. I will continue to pray for you and your kids and family that God gives you peace and comfort in knowing that He has this situation under control.
Thank you, Julie. <3
Oh Krista…that was so beautiful! You guys have to stop it! My favorities on this computor is so full already! Just kidding..keep them coming!
Krista, I know it seems like your healing will never come, but I guarentee, if you keep your eye’s on God and trust him with all your heart, you’ll be blessed beyond all your imagination. God never said we wouldn’t have trials, but he said he’s be there to help us through them. The trials your going through now are building your faith so stongly and if there is any way you can say to Jesus…Thank you for my trials, Dear Lord”…as hard as that is to say that…he will bless you even more.
You little boys are so cute and I love the pictures you put on fb of them! I can tell they love their “mommy time”:)
After my 2nd husband divorced me, he moved out of state and sent his girlfriend, he left me for, to drive here and pick up my three kids Kendra was just a year old, for the whole summer each year. I think I cried enough each summer to fill a lake. So I know what torment you are going through, when they leave. It still makes me sad when I remember their little voices on the other end of the phone crying and begging me to come home.
Krista, just bury yourself in God…read, listen to gospel, go be with people you can idenify with and fellow christians at church and bible studies, praising God all the while. All this will help you get through the tough times. We love you and will be praying for you here.
Oh, Joyce, these are such kind, encouraging words. Thanks so much to you and all of you here for encouraging Krista. It really helps me to know that others are helping to hold her up (for being Christ’s hands and feet and mouths) because I know I cannot do it on my own. Christian fellowship is such a wonderful thing! Praise God for the Internet! (I know that sounds weird, but it is true. God has used it for His glory here.)
Joyce, thank you. Your words mean more than I can truly express. God bless you!
Praying that you continue to hear Jesus above all the other noise and distractions in our lives.
Thank you, Laura!
Krista, when I was going through my divorce, my sister advised me that it would seem initially (metaphorically) like I was far under water struggling to reach the surface…eventually I would move toward the surface, and in time be above water breathing the fresh air once again. I too had little kids when my husband decided he didn’t want marriage and family any longer…it is hard, there is just no getting around it…divorce is a death with a grieving process one must go through. An exercise I found incredibly healing was to write a letter (one that wasn’t ever sent) that outlines all that I would miss in not being married and all that I would NOT miss in being married to my ex (e.g., walking on eggshells, violent outbursts). Weekends without the kids were lonely, but those weekends allowed me time to work on me which was really important. I participated in a Christian singles group that did a social activity each month…it was really nice fellowship with no pressure for romantic relationships, just enjoyment of each other’s company…is there something like that offered in your area? I also sought counseling which helped, and my Mom called me EVERY Sunday at 6 p.m. to check in with me…sounds like you have that kind of Mom. I’ll continue praying for a peaceable divorce, your healing, and your sons’ well-being.
Thank you Nanci, I am grateful for your words. I haven’t completely given up hope for my marriage…though some days are very hard. You saying it was “like I was far under water struggling to reach the surface…eventually I would move toward the surface, and in time be above water breathing the fresh air once again”, I can definitely relate to! There are times it definitely feels like I’m struggling to reach the surface. I know it won’t last forever, though. I don’t know how anyone could get through this without God! I know I wouldn’t be able to do it!
I have started attending DivorceCare Tuesday evenings at a local church. It is for those separated and divorce. Tomorrow night is the 2nd one and I really am looking forward to it. It’s a 13 week program.
I look forward to Sunday afternoons when I can ponder Dee’s words, what a blessing. Several years ago I was in Juneau,AK and saw the trees so twisted from the weight of winter snow…fascinating and such a wonderful visual. I love that regardless how twisted they still reached for the light as we need to always do in our own twists and turns of life not letting the pain and struggle define or encroach on our humanity. A lesson God taught me 23 years ago came to mind. We adopted a little boy at the age of 7. He had been through the foster care system for about 3 years. He arrived angry and played havoc with everyone and everything, including methodically scratching the paint on my brand new car. My husband and I would not give up. I came to a point where I believed I would never love him but decided that I would think of him as Jesus and that I would not receive love from him but consider his adoption as a sacrifice to Christ. Eventually, I did come to the point that I loved him. We had a few good years before adolescence arrived with rebellion, addiction, jail time,and total detachment from our family. But God is good, he called us a year ago to reconnect and we will be traveling out of state to his home to babysit his two children when baby #3 arrives!
This lesson has helped me use forgiveness and sacrificial love for Jesus to deal with other painful happenings. I am God’s beloved child and therefore, I should embrace the gift of each day not letting bitterness and hurts encroach upon me that will do nothing but hurt me. I advise my daughter (who is divorced from an abuser) do not let the pain and anger steal what you have today. For me, naming and releasing it helps me stay in the light of God’s love.
BEAUTIFUL PICTURE OF TWISTED TREES STILL REACHING FOR THE LIGHT
Wow, Sarahsal. Thanks for sharing that story of your sacrificial love through adoption of an angry young boy who was twisted by life. It is such a picture of God’s love for us, His perseverance when we hate Him instead of love Him. It is a story of hope that I need right now.
love the story of reconciliation between you and your son, Sarahsal
Sarasal, I love what you did to think of your adopted son as Jesus! And his adoption as your sacrific! I give my pain to God as sacrific and taking care of Kendra as my gift/job for God. They are simular! Please let us know when you make your trip to see your son and his wife and three children! What a wonderful reconnection time for all of you!You will get to see all the fruits of your labor, when he was adopted. I’m praying for your daughter and her three kids, that was so abused in her marriage.
1. What stands out to you from the above and why? Definitely the verse from Hosea! I have never seen that before and love that verse, and then how Jesus lived it out. Such the equalizer he is of all humans and worth.
2. Most of us, like Judah, have hated, have experienced this twisting of our soul.
Can you share a time when God “broke through” to help you recognize your own wrong? Yes living this situation with our little man and his birth mom. I used to be really angry and accuser of her yet though she is so wrong in so many ways I am wrong in my own ways and apart from Christ neither of us is right. I chase my own selfish desires which thankfully do not happen to bring damage to my children (atleast from what I see).
I see that beautiful break through in you, Angela, and have so respected it for you live with it daily
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
The trees. With the explanation and words of being twisted, I am not sure I will ever look at a crooked tree the same again. When I first saw the picture of the trees, my first reaction was that it was a very cool picture, I hadn’t seen trees like that before. I see God’s beauty in trees and nature and thought that those were really interesting trees He created…and then I read the explanation and thought, oops, I saw first, read later and had to have the reason for the picture pointed out to me. Without the explanation, I would not have seen twisted anything, I only saw that was the way these trees grew and that the difference was interesting. I think that perhaps that we see our sin the same way, it’s different but don’t see it as being twisted, just different. Someone has to point out the explanation before we see what is really there.
I also really smiled at the prayer…Dee has me so pegged that she knows just what to bring before God. I am really encouraged this week as I really see God poking holes in my world over the last number of weeks. The blog has been such a help to me, lifting me up when I needed it, saying something that I realize God is pointing me to, helping me to see the darkness in myself that God wants to remove and heal. I know that someone is going to say or post something that will be just what I need to hear or see and I pray that God will open my eyes that I will see the things (good and bad) about myself that I need to see or hear this week.
Love you analogy with our sin — how we can fail to see it, justify that we are “just different” instead of twisted
SUNDAY/MONDAY ICEBREAKER
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?- The origins of the words wreath, wrath and wraithe. To look at the picture of the wreath made of twigs, and if I look closely enough at my heart, soul and mind and can be honest with my self I can see how easy it is for them to become full of hatred and to be so twisted up inside. How easy it is to give hatred a foot hold because we justify our hate by what was done to us or is being done to us. And Hosea 4:14 how the double standard would not be tolerated any longer. This you can see in all the outreaches of human trafficking that is going on currently. My mind can be so easily influenced if I don’t have my nose in God’s Word, the book he wrote for me to live my life after, to learn what it is he wants me to see and to just have the strength to trust Him to lead me down the path He has set up for me.
2. Most of us, like Judah, have hated, have experienced this twisting of our soul.
Can you share a time when God “broke through” to help you recognize your own wrong? – I can remember when I got first got divorced, my ex’s new girlfriend would call me because she knew where I worked and asked for advice all the time on what she should do. I asked her if she was a Christian because of a comment she made one time and she said she was. So I told her that he was not saved and that she should not be unequally yoked, she said her mom told her the same thing. Later she called again and said that he was scaring her if I could come over to their apartment and talk to him. I told her that if I came I was not going to sugar coat anything. So when I went over there he was pacing and not wanting to listen to me so I told him to sit down and just listen. I told him that all these years he was doing things his way and nothing was working so he needed to see that he needed Jesus in his life. I was not able to lead him to The Lord that day but he did agree to come to church on Sunday, so there he was with his girlfriend and me. The elders of the church new me and him so when they saw all three of us they were concerned of how I was. He did give his life that day to The Lord and she re-dedicated her life. I sat there after they left and just asked God WHY??? Why did you let him wait, if he would have done it when we were married everything would have been ok. The elders came up to me afterward and asked if I was ok and encouraged me that I did the right thing. At the time I was so mad at the timing, at my ex, at his girlfriend but now I see that they had the right to have a life with Jesus too just like someone gave to me.
Wow — what a story, Julie. Thanks so much for sharing it. You truly walked in the light.
Julie, I cannot even imagine how hard that was for you. The average person would’ve told you that you didn’t have to give the girlfriend the time of day – I imagine it was like salt being rubbed into a wound every time. And then to be a part of your ex getting right with God. God surely gave you the strength to do what you did.
Julie reading this made me think of how Jean Valjean extended love and mercy to Javert, who was so surprised by the gesture considering what he had done to Jean Jaljean. YOur example shows how God can work in the midst of hurt to complete His purpose. Your unexpected and undeserved kindness and mercy allowed another to see the mercy of God in a real way!
Oh my goodness, Julie, it is so beautiful how you allowed God to use you even in the midst of your brokeness and pain to bring your ex and his girlfriend to the feet of Jesus. “they had the right to have a life with Jesus too” Absolutely beautiful and awesome. Thanks so much for sharing this.
Julie–I am overwhelmed, so humbled by this story. Wow. Your heart is beautiful. I can only imagine how strong the enemy tried to attack you through all of that–but how you responded, wow. The power of Christ alone poured through you–perfect example for this week of extending the grace we have been given.
Julie,
You have a beautiful heart. So encouraging to see what God can do in our lives when we focus on his word and his truth. You certainly did not give Satan an opening there. How wonderful!
Wow Julie, I don’t know if I could of done what you did…talking with your ex’s girlfriend and coming to their apartment and talking to him like you did and sitting in church with them! You have alot more guts than I do!! After all these years, look how God has blessed you, with your wonderful husband and family!
Have you seen the fruits of your ex-husband’s faith? Did he really change? I hope so.
Joyce I’m not sure if he really has or not. We get along and talk once in a while, but I’m not sure if he goes to church or not. He is no longer married to the “girlfriend” that I referred to, they divorced about a year after they got married. He is now re-married to a nice lady.
Hello all, 1. what stands out to you from the above and why?
The origins of the words wreath, wrath and wraithe. I love looking up the meanings of words in the dictionary and I know in the past when struggling with bitterness in my soul I’d read passages and look up the word wrath, anger, bitterness, hate, trouble, anxiety, etc..
The verse that immediately came to mind when reading the whole Bible study is Heb.12:1.. let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily ENTANGLES, thats how I’ve always felt with the sins in my life – they entangle me and strangle me, and now I have a new image that really helps one of being twisted inside when I give in to the anger and resentment and that root of bitterness that springs up so guickly. I have had a rough day with emotions and was feeling desperate and decided to check out the Bible study to see if it was posted yet or not, time zone thing, and now my heart has been encouraged by Dee’s timely words and everyone else sharing. Thank you. sincerely Phyllis.
Hey Phyllis — so good to have you here. Oh — I love the correlation with the “sin that entangles.”
Perfect.
Welcome Phyllis – I’m glad you’ve found encouragement through Dee’s study.
oooh, Phyllis-love how you tie the wreath in with the verse from Hebrews–so good.
Phyllis, I’m so glad you decided to come back on and check the blog, for help. I’m so sorry for the hard times your having. Dee does have a way of encouraging our hearts in a special way. Praying for you.
Our own dear Rebecca is very sick — missing her — pray for her.
Will pray right now. Please keep us posted if you hear anymore Dee!
I will.
Dear Lord, please bring healing and comfort to Rebecca…please surround her with family and friends who can help her with the things she is unable to do right now – meals, with the boys…please help her to rest and not to be anxious about what she can’t do right now. Please let her feel Your presence in a very real way – I know if You were here physically, You’d sit at her bedside and hold her hand, or get her a drink of water. Let someone be Jesus to her in that way.
Dear Lord, thank you for allowing others to be strong and help us when we are in need. Thank you for family and friends that watch over us and share in our pain. Rebecca needs loving attention now. Please help those around her be able to care for themselves adequately so that she may heal without worry. Help them to be strong so they may care for her and not get this awful sickness themselves. Thank you Lord Jesus. Amen.
Yes, Father I pray for Rebecca along with the other’s here. Please heal her quickly and help her to get the rest and care she needs. Let the boys be of help to her, so she doesn’t have to worry. Thank you, Jesus.
Praying for Rebecca. I hope she has someone to help with the boys.
Praying for Rebecca! I truly hope she is well soon! <3
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
As I read this this morning, I felt ‘hit right between the eyes’. The whole thing impresses itself upon me….
I do have a curvature of the soul and I can be filled with “ungrace”. I’ve experienced and most likely have a root of bitterness growing – just when I think it’s gone, it is back – and it does fester, grow, and twist, and defiles those around me.
When I think about the word “wrath” described above and how it’s related to the word “wreath”, I thought about how the soldiers who abused Jesus were so twisted by hate that they picked up thorny branches, twisted them into a crown of thorns, and put it on His head. As they twisted those thorny branches together, the hatred inside of them was being woven into a real, tangible thing. Yet it also symbolizes my sin when I am bitter and when I hate, and it was placed on His head.
And I can relate to the last paragraph where Dee shared personally. I also have a bent toward festering and hating. Dee put it well when she says that we begin to characterize or stereotype a person as an evil person. It’s the line between what they “do” and what they “are” that begins to blur. I also need that prayer at the end:
I pray that I, too, may be open to Your reproval, Father, and please help me to turn from the darkness to the light, so that what is lame and twisted in me may be healed. Help my soul to untwist, that it may glorify You.
Wow — Susan. The twist crown of thorns and the analogy with the twisted souls of the soldiers.
Susan–I was looking forward to your post here, I knew I would glean so much from it, and I have. “It’s the line between what they “do” and what they “are” that begins to blur.”–that hits directly to a situation we are dealing with now, oh you are so wise.
Dear Susan I pray your prayer with you. You are so loved here and I know God loves you so much more and he glorifies and shines through you.
Always praying for you.
The only thing I could see when I read “Yet it also symbolizes my sin when I am bitter and when I hate, and it was placed on His head.” was a picture of my twisted sin being placed on His head, the thorns causing Him to bleed. In all honesty I would rather not have that picture in my head, but I think it was also something that I need to remember, especially on days where I am complaining about something not going “right”.
Thank you.
SUNDAY/MONDAY ICEBREAKER
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
The movie with the woman getting stoned made me boo hoo cry. I don’t know why though, probably because she didn’t deserve the grace given her. Maybe because Jesus said, “he among you who is without sin let him cast the first stone.” Powerful.
Laura-dancer, (from christianity.about.com) Grace is God’s unmerited favor. It is kindness from God we don’t deserve.
I loved that part so much too, Laura!
2. Most of us, like Judah, have hated, have experienced this twisting of our soul.
Can you share a time when God “broke through” to help you recognize your own wrong?
Recently I hit a new low with a bout of depression. As I was coming out of it, I was reminded of my Dad. My husband and I had been clearing out our closets and came across something of my dad’s that my mom had passed on to my husband. I held it and tears cried. Years and years of self-righteous bitterness in me finally replaced with real compassion. I think I have experienced forgiveness towards him a few years ago—but this was more. This was true empathy-new insight for the severe depression he lived in for all of my life. He medicated with alcohol which only made things worse, bu I could see for the first time how hard life in that place—or at least as close as I hope to ever get—can be. You can tell yourself that ‘ging through the motions’ is good enough. You can believe it. When it’s not-for you r those who love you. I confessed again but deeper, my sin of resentment, self righteousness, un-forgiveness.
3. Meditate on Hebrews 12:14-15
A. What command are we given?
Make every effort towards, strive for, peace with everyone; “so far as it depends on you” (Rom. 12:18)
Strive for holiness-purity.
See to it, be responsible for making sure that all receive God’s grace.
Don’t allow bitterness to take root-‘nip it in the bud’!
B. What warning? (Find warnings within the warning!)
We will not see the Lord without holiness.
Letting bitterness take root, causes trouble and leads to being defiled.
These verses give us a lot of responsibility for doing all we can o keep short accounts, preserve peace, extend grace, and refusing to allow bitterness to take root.
Oh Elizabeth….finding something of your dad’s in the closet, and “years and years of self-righteous bitterness in me finally replaced with real compassion.” I don’t even have words…
elizabeth thank you for sharing this story. I love how God allowed a material reminder of your father to bring you closer to your Father in heaven!
Elizabeth I think that was a “God thing” to find that piece of rememberence of your father. Sounds like his life was very sad and hard. I’m so glad that you are able to replace bitterness with compassion and empathy, after all these years. Praise God!
Elizabeth — this is so beautiful. So thankful for beauty for ashes.
Father, I do lift up our dear Rebecca to you-breaks my heart to hear she is sick and suffering. Please surround her with Your peace, comfort her. Bring her the help she needs, and rest. Please heal her quickly Lord, thank You.
Yes — she has a bad case of the flu. Her son has strep — both on antiobiotics. She says she is feeling terribly. So keep praying.
Oh that poor thing. To be sick as a mom is hard enough but to have one of your kids sick too that is even tougher. Will continue to pray.
Meditate on Hebrews 12:14-15
A. What command are we given? We are commanded to seek peace and get along, we are commanded that our action allow others to see God, we are commanded to stay alert to the tiniest seed of bitterness.
I love how the Word does not say, when you see a sprout pop through yank it out. we are not to be content in our lives up to the outward exhibit of the bitterness. we must keep the roots cleared out so there can be no sin hidden within. What is extra amazing to me is growing up in a very legalistic church I was never really given a chance to learn self identification of my hidden sins. I was comfortable with recognizing the surface sins only. We all appeared to be “good” christians on the outside. It has only been through a personal walk that I have learned the need to cut out those roots and how a root left alone- no matter how small and invisible- disrupts the entire yeild of fruit God has purposed me to produce. The more I try to convince myself that a little root in the corner isn’t a real problem the more I invite more roots to take hold. If I allow/accept and most importantly cling to even one I am asking for all kinds of trouble.
B. What warning? (Find warnings within the warning!) The warning is that without living in peace no one will see the Lord. This makes me think how in Les mis the closing line of the song says to truly love someone is to see the face of God. When we love in God’s perfect love we see clearly God’s compassion and mercy as does the one we love. If bitterness seeps in and taints our love than nobody can experience that amazing mercy and grace that flows from above.
I think of a particular person I have to deal with and how I pray for them and “love” them but there is a root of bitterness in my heart regarding her. I see now the love I am trying to give is based in my human power- which is very weak and inconsistant. These verses are forcing me to reexamine the source of my love and seek God to fill my heart with His love for her. Until I allow that to occur I will be causing trouble. I want to live in peace with her yet my heart goes back to the wrong she has done and I hang onto that rather than embrace God’s love. Oh how I long for my heart to be free of bitterness and experience peace. I tend to feel justified in my crooked bent soul in regards to her and can easily think of and list all the reasons why I should withhold grace. I pray I can release this and allow God to work in me. I want to see her as God sees her- a precious beautiful creature in His image who has been set apart and is unique in her purpose.
I’m right there with you, Becca. I’ll be praying for you.
So good Becca. Thanks for posting.
Becca, your sharing about this person really is coming from your heart…pouring out to God. I’m praying for God to fill your heart with love for her. Thank you for sharing.
God’s really giving you insight and we pray with you!
I’m new to this group but will certainly pray for you in you struggle. Forgiving family members for not being the person we want/needthem to be is so hard.
2. Most of us, like Judah, have hated, have experienced this twisting of our soul.
Can you share a time when God “broke through” to help you recognize your own wrong?
Well, when I woke up this morning, lying in bed, one of my first thoughts (really) was about how do I respond differently to the hurt and disappointment that I experience almost daily in my relationship with my husband? Just before bedtime last night, another disagreement. I had asked my son about something that happened to him that my husband had told me about, and I wasn’t upset but I just wanted to ask my son about what had happened and if the matter was resolved. He told my husband I’d asked, and then I was in trouble… an on-going area that is hard for me not to resent is that night after night my daughter and I eat dinner alone together. My husband is not home for dinner, or he comes home but doesn’t want to eat because he meets his friend at the Y to work-out around 7. I know it is good for his health, and I don’t begrudge him that, but then he comes home and spends whatever time is left in the den. By the time he gets home, it’s around 9, so he never spends any time with us. On the weekends, like yesterday, he stays in the den and watches TV, and my daughter and I do things together. Or, it’s the way he speaks to me. Last Friday, I made dinner and my daughter and I took it to my parents and we ate dinner with them. I hadn’t seen them in a couple of weeks and wanted to spend some time with them. When I got home, my husband made the ‘sideways comment’ of “Why did you feel you had to charge over there?”
I yo-yo between feeling hopeless and depressed, to bitter, angry, and resentful. So lying in bed this morning, I was thinking about how do I really make all this practical – how do I “do it”? I don’t want to end up with a twisted soul – it’s already twisted, but then when I got online today, I see some hope that it doesn’t have to be permanent.
Oh Susan I can feel the hurt and confusion running thru you. Thinking you may be doing the right thing and than having to be afraid you didn’t. I will be praying for you and for your husband’s heart to see the ways of Jesus.
After reading this Susan, I dropped my head in prayer for you. I can feel your pain. You are so precious to us. I know your husband is unsaved and your marriage is so difficult. I wish you and he could get help. I’m in prayer for you..love you~
Susan–OH. I read this, and I do pray for you, continually. I am filled with a mixture of deep sadness, and terrible anger. But as I read just now, I thought again about how, I think it was over a year ago, I had read one of your posts and the Lord brought to mind Psalm 1:1-3–you embody that to me. And so to see the trees here, I don’t know Susan-hold on to the hope, the truth-oh I pray you will hear His voice calling out to you over the enemy. You are NOT twisted–you are honest, humble, and continually turning back to Him. If it is any comfort, know that when you feel out of hope, you are prayed for. I am still asking God to break through, to do a miracle. Love you so dear sister.
“Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.” Psalm 1:1-3
I don’t know what to say — it seems so hard. I am praying. I know you’ve read Leslie’s book. I just read her manuscript on the Emotionally Abusive Marriage — I think there will be help there — but not sure when it will be released.
You are prayed for here.
I too don’t really know what to say. I don’t know if this will help, but this past fall after I read Idol Lies, God directed me to a book by Kay Arthur titled, When the Hurt Runs Deep. It really helped me by pointing out some of the things I needed to see on my pain, she (like Dee) didn’t gloss over anything.
I will share one of the comments on the back of her book…Because no matter how deep the hurt, God’s love runs deeper still.
Am also praying that the Lord will reach down through your pain and protect your heart from the continual bruising, for both you and your daughter.
3. Meditate on Hebrews 12:14-15
A. What command are we given?
To not argue, hold bitterness, be holy. Help others do the same.
B. What warning? (Find warnings within the warning!)
To not fall short of the grace of God. If a bitterness takes hold of us or our family members then it could lead to other problems where many people are affected.
Chris–just thinking of you & missing you!–hope you’re OK, haven’t seen you on here in a few days
Yes, Chris and Renee!
Thanks Girls, you touch my heart!
I have been on vacation, I felt a little ashamed to be heading to Disney World while we were discussing giving up our lunches!
We took our granddaughter, a friend and her niece. It was a lovely time, with some sweet but also really painful memories for me. I have shared before how Daniel loved Disney, Bryar our granddaughter is just a bit younger than he was on his first trip. I delighted to see her enjoyment, and while I treasure those happy memories with Daniel, it aches fiercely to allow them to come. So I cried happy tears and sad painful tears on the trip.
Glad you are back with us, Chris, and I hope you made many more good memories on your vacation!
I’m so sorry, Chris
3. Meditate on Hebrews 12:14-15
A. What command are we given? – In a nutshell we are to live among people and not hold any grudges against anyone. If we are wronged in any way we are not to hold back God’s grace to them just as Jesus doesn’t hold it back from us. The verse is telling us to make every effort to ATTEMPT to live in peace among every one so I hear from this verse that Jesus knows it’s going to be hard but that we need to worry about ourselves doing the right thing no matter what the outcome or response from someone may be. We need to be holy in the end so we can see the Lord’s face. The love of Jesus needs to shine thru. How many times were there that Jesus could have stopped doing good to those who did not listen or care, but He knew what God had called Him to do and in the image of Jesus we need to do the same.
B. What warning? (Find warnings within the warning!) – It will be hard to live among everyone peacefully. We need to not let bitterness grow in our hearts. We need to be holy, we need to give grace where we may think it is not due. And we need to weed the garden of our hearts of any unkind thought or action that will cause others to not see God’s goodness.
Julie! That was wonderful! Your explanation of these verses is great. Is it okay I copy this, as I have been telling my husband he needs to make it right with his biological brother over a grudge they both have been carrying for years…and not speaking. It’s very sad and I told Maurice it is only hurting himself and his relationship with God. He needs to forgive his brother even if he doesn’t get forgivness back and make it right with God. Thank you Julie~
Oh Joyce of course you can copy and give to your hubby or anyone that you feel led to give it to. I don’t mind at all. I hope it helps.
I can honestly say that I do not know where I am. I want to write something that is perfect or looks perfect but I know that it would be a lie. I am dealing with anger and bitterness in my life. I do not want to be it or become consumed by it but it is happening. About 7 years ago in my life I willing and deliberately sinned. I had been a single parent and I had raised my dtr. I wanted a husband and a marriage. I chose wrong. In December 2007 the Lord revealed my husband’s sin. Not to destroy him but so that he could repent. The sin was sexual in nature. The last time was in 2011. During this time I have isolated myself, gained 100 pounds, punished my husband almost on a daily basis. I feel trapped and stuck. There are times when I am so blessed by God. Waking up to hymns on my heart. Or to singing or dancing. Yet I know we are lacking counselling, mentoring, help, church fellowship, Do I stay with him or trust God and go. I know that God is soverign. That God is in control. That He will never leave nor forsake me. That God loves me. Imperfections and all. I know that the Lord said to me that I was wise in my own eyes. That I am reaping what I have sown. Quite frankly I cannot stand myself, my marriage anymore. I just do not like or love my husband anymore. I don’t wish evil like I used to. I can pray that God will bless my husband and that he will move upon him. My husband says to just stop being mean to him. I say that I do not want the marriage to continue as it is going. I really do not know what to do. I know if we lack wisdom we are to pray and ask God for wisdom. I guess this is what I am doing through this blog. I need help or I will become like those twisted trees and so will my husband.
We have no children living at home but I know that I have impacted my dtrs. as well. I guess I need help.
Lately my song has been:
It is my confession Lord that I am weak
So very weak but u are strong.
And though I have nothing Lord to lay at your feet
I come to your feet to say help me along.
Sometimes my husband will sing along with me.
Other times like this last w/e he says I talk about God too much.
It is true b/c for the last two years I have experienced the move of God in my life like when I was first married. At that time I was in a violent marriage.
I ask myself b/c of my abuse (sexual, mental, physical emotional) when I was a child and with my marriage (violence).
Am I incapable of having a loving relationship with a man?
Do I choose wrong men in order to punish myself b/c I believe I need to be punished?
Do I associate punishment with love b/c God’s word clearly states that perfect love casts out fear b/c fear has to do with punishment.
In my “stuck state” as I refer to it I do try.
I have tried aquafit and I do read this blog and I do listen to Joyce Meyer or watch 100 Huntley st.
But I just cannot seem to fix things anymore. I cannot pretend anymore. I am not good at doing that anymore anyhow.
My husband has gone to 2 different pastors for help but just like with my first husband who was violent who will help.
Even stating that I have 2 husbands fills me with shame.
I do not want to fail and I definitely do not want to become that joke.
Another christian who says she loves God but can’t hack it or sins etc.
My weight is becoming such an issue. It affects every aspect of my life. I have signed up for weight loss help with Christian weight loss programs.
I do miss having a friend.
Any friend that I can be honest with who will not judge me and will pray for me and for my husband b/c it is not all about me. He is hurting as well. But it seems our understanding of God and what God can do differs. Should I have left 7 years ago instead of crying out to God?
Like I said I am stuck and I do not want to end up like those trees. I do not want to be bent, twisted
Just up from our street there are trees that have been bowed down. We have strong winds in this area and they bent all the trees forward.
Maybe they are praying like me.
I have 3 neighbours in my area moving out and I am praying that born again Christians move in that we can fellowship with. Not freak people out with. Sometimes I just do not like sharing b/c the sin is so great.
When my oldest dtr. was up here I went to church with her. She was buying a car. My husband and I have gone there before. They offered prayer. I do not go up. I think b/c I would bawl and freak them out.
Sometimes all I can do is worship God and cry.
Sometimes carrying my husband is killing me.
I am tortured by: if I leave him who would pray for him or care. His childhood was as difficult as mine.
So around and around I go.
I need a promise. Something to cling to one way or the other.
Anyhow… I apologize for dumping on u but I needed someone to talk to.
I wept when I read Dee’s prayer b/c it is my prayer as well.
Is it just b/c I believe a lie that I am unloveable?
I know the enemy comes to steal and destroy.
The other night I googled a church to go to.
I looked at their website and saw them worshiping and I was afraid.
Afraid of trusting Christians.
After church splits and not going to church for 8 years except on occassions u think I would be more ..
I really do not know what to say anymore.
Except I do want to be a Godly woman not a baby Christian. To be pleasing to my Lord. that my life would be a pleasant fragrence in His nostrils.
I do have good news my sister accepted the Lord. she goes to church and reads her devotional book. I do not want to burden her or share too much. She has just come back into my life after a long absence. She suffered the most rapes etc. under our grandfather.
My grandfather was a man of God. He would pray and have the rosary etc. My father never wnated him in the house. He was my father’s stepfather but mom insisted. He started raping my two older sisters at the age of nine. He preferred one sister over the other. She lives with a women who attends the Salvation Army church. Like one my pastors said some people are so damaged they can never recover. I do not want to share anymore b/c then people define people by the things they share. I mean do we always have to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps? Do we always have to pretend things are perfect when they are not.
Mellany- I will be praying for you and I wanted to give you one promise I cling to daily to respnd to your stating “I need a promise. Something to cling to one way or the other”
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
I know there is one place I find true comfort and that is at the feet of God. Reading scripture and praying is where I find hope.
Mellany, your post truly touched my heart. I’m sorry you are hurting so much. :( You will truly be loved, not judged, here. We care about you! Keep looking to God. He loves you sooo much, no matter what you have done. You are His child and He sent His only Son to die for YOU!
I will keep you in my prayers. Keep coming here, keep reading and keep writing out your help. God bless you!
Krista
oh Mellany-so, so much pain. I am so sorry. I thank Him for leading you here and will pray now for you and your husband. Remind yourself of His truths. He sees your pain, He grieves with you, He holds you.
Oh Mellany.
I feel like you are in quicksand and I want to give you a hand — but am too far away. I would love for you to get counseling — have you looked into that? I know CCEF is a great resource. Focus on the Family can sometimes help you locate someone good too.
We will all be praying.
Mellany I also love Jeremiah 29:11 and I would have to say that is my favorite, it says it nicely what God wants for us. When my marriage was in a shambles I stood on scriptures all the time and prayed them over and over. The one verse for me was – Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV). When I thought of this verse and said it over and over I would picture God being one of the strands wrapping his arms around me and my husband, holding tight, keeping us secure. You need to be in the Word all the time like the other ladies have said and no one will judge you here. This blog is where you can be you. Give the situation of your marriage over to God and let him restore it for you along with the love you had for your husband at one time. He can bring that back again, but you will need to let him and get out of the way so He can do His job. This is too big for you to handle on your own and we (me included) always think we can handle these issues our selves, but the minute we move out of the way God can do what He feels He needs to do. I will be praying for you and your husband and your marriage and for God to give a clear picture of what HE wants you to do.
im so sorry. I am glad you are here. we have all had to walk through our own sin here and are still doing it and we are blessed to walk with you through yours. please do not forget that God is in the business of bring life out of death and that healing is NEVER impossable. we are all praying for you. please find a Chrisian counsler to help you walk this walk. we can love you but we can not go to the level that needs to be gone to.
Mellany,
I am glad you returned to post….you’ve been absent for several weeks after sharing a lot of pain with us and I wondered if you felt too bad about sharing that you left -please don’t be afraid to share honestly here with us. We all carry our own hurts from our past and present here – you have way too heavy of a load to try to bear it yourself, and you’re not meant to. I hope and pray that you can seek and find a good counselor who can help you – this is too much to try to go it alone. I also pray that God will give you the courage to reach out to other Christians for help – perhaps try attending that church you googled – or go meet with the pastor privately first – take baby steps, but each step you take is a step forward.
Mellany,
There is such power in confessing and bringing things into the light, I wish I could hug you for real!
There is great power and hope in Christ, he has not given you a spirit of fear, so when fear is what you feel, run to Christ, consider doing just the thing that scares you, like finding a church.
Don’t be afraid to cry in front of your brothers and sisters, they/we exist to help carry your burdens and lighten your load.
I am SO GLAD you poured your heart out! We want to know you better and support you well!
I remember when I started here, fearing my needs were to heavy, that my posts were too long and that no one would want to be bothered with my pain. I was so wrong! God has used this group mightily in my life. I pray the same will be true for you!
I am praying you find comfort and support here. We all fall short…..and depend on God’s wonderful grace. I have 2 thoughts,: I am a Stephen Minister which is a non-denominational organization that trains laity to walk with someone who is going through a difficult trial/crisis. The national organization is in St Louis and can tell where Stephen Minister churches are in your area. 2-During a really hard time I would have moments of fear and anxiety I made some index cards of scripture that i would read over & over
No you don’t have to pretend anymore, Mellany. You are safe here with us, in your grief. We can at least pray for you here.
I always wondered why I picked bad husbands too, but I didn’t know Jesus and to pray for my decisions then. I’m ashamed I’ve been married three times and didn’t want to admit it either. And no your not being punished, or your husband, or reaping what you have sown. I use to think that too. Don’t listen to those lies from the evil one. When you hear the doubt in your mind about God not being real…say “Get ye behind me Satan” and sing songs of glory and praise the Lord.
And the past is past…don’t worry about what you should have done. God is trying to let you know that he is there, as you said that you have experienced the move of God in your life. He is there now and never leaves you. He’s holding your hand and wants you to lean on him and take everything to him in prayer. Because you are right…when you are weak…he is strong. Don’t depend on neighbor’s or family or anyone but God. Put your all into him and he won’t disapoint. Read or listen to the word (youversion.com) and meditate on God and how much he adores and loves you and gave his life for you. Jesus would of been punished and died JUST FOR YOU! That’s how much God loves YOU…to send his only son to save YOU. You are worthy and God is longing to be with you. You are forgiven of your sins. Trust him for everything…depending only upon him. He wants you to be ALL HIS …so badly!
I know you say you don’t love your husband now, but God can change that too. it sounds like your husband is reaching out for God too. Go get real help…from a church or counceling or a christian willing to listen and help you. You have deep set pain in your life, you need help and you’ve let yourself go. Do you health insurance? Would it pay for a lap band? Or maybe go to a “women only” health fit club? At least get out and walk everyday if you can and read Dee’s book, “Idol Lies” to see the things you are running to for help, instead of God. I’ll be praying for you, I promise. We all will be.
For you, Mellany, “When I Am Weak, He Is Strong”
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
So much pain here — but we are under the wings of the Lord.
And Rebecca is very sick with the flu.
Oh dear, poor Rebecca. :( I was hoping she would be feeling a bit better!
Abba Father, we bring before you our precious Rebecca. Please hold her close and let Your healing hand be upon her. Help her to keep looking to You even as she feels so awful. Help her to remember You are still in control and You are right there with her.
In Jesus holy name, Amen.
Mary, I hope you do not mind that I quote you, but what you said hit me powerfully!
“The only thing I could see when I read “Yet it also symbolizes my sin when I am bitter and when I hate, and it was placed on His head.” was a picture of my twisted sin being placed on His head, the thorns causing Him to bleed.”
It is sooo true! What an image! I don’t want to cause my Saviour pain! And yet, I am, whenever I sin, whenever I let the bitterness and forgiveness dwell in my heart. Jesus, please forgive me!
Thank you for this image, Mary. I needed it.
No Krista I don’t mind, but we should actually credit Susan for the image. It was her words that trigger the picture in my head.
I think sometimes we need hugs from the Lord, other times a “reminder” of what our sin cost. These days I need both.
Okay, so that credit goes to you and Susan. :) Yes, I need both as well.
I want to ask for prayer for Krista and for her 4 year old Josh. Josh is sick with a high fever and he is at his Dad’s being taken care of by the other grandmother. Krista is really struggling, wanting to be there with her sick child and can’t be because of the estrangement. This whole situation just seems so wrong to me. The mother in me just bleeds for the aching heart of my daughter but also for Josh who tends to be really sick when he is sick and I am worried that all of them at that house will get sick and also Krista who had the boys on the weekend.
Thanks Mom. Yes, it is true, I really am having a hard time not being with Josh right now since he’s sick. :( What makes it even harder is that one time when he was 2 he had a febrile seizure, and though it’s only happened that once I get *very* nervous when he gets a high fever. I hope whatever it is will be short-lived, and he doesn’t get REALLY sick like he was in December. At least he talked to me on the phone before he went to bed. So that is good. When he feels really awful he won’t even do that. I will definitely be checking on him in the morning.
oh I will be praying I know how hard it is to be away from your children when they are hurting.
Father, we ask that you place your healing hand on JOsh, prevent a seizure, and calm Krista. We ask that You change hearts and move in this painful situation, O Lord.
Thank you, Dee. Your prayer truly touched my heart. <3
Praying for you, Krista, and for Josh…how it must hurt you to not be there, and it is unfair. Praying for Josh to get well, and no seizures, and for hearts to change in your situation, and that you’ll get the love, support, and encouragement you need and others to come around you at your DivorceCare group tonite.
Thank you, ladies. He seems to be better this morning, but will still be checking to see how he’s doing through the day. Thankfully my husband is keeping me updated.
Oh thank you Lord that Josh is on the mend. Please continue to heal his body to perfection. In Jesus name I pray, AMEN.
Krista, how is Josh by now? Praying for him and all the boys and you too. How was group tonight?
When I talked with him this evening he seemed much better, his cheery self again. :) Not sure why he had the high fever, but thankfully seems better! Thank you for asking.
2. Most of us, like Judah, have hated, have experienced this twisting of our soul.
Can you share a time when God “broke through” to help you recognize your own wrong? Well it appears that this is the “ex” week on the blog. After my divorce, I did work through forgiveness, it was a long time to work through. But there was a point about 10 years after our divorce that I felt the Lord “broke through” one of my many barriers and asked me to apologize to my ex. I was surprise and figured I heard wrong. I did go back and ask if He was serious as the breakdown of our marriage was almost entirely my ex’s fault, like 99.5% (or some number close). The answer I got was simple…what about the .5%. I had to own my own part, no matter how small that part was…if it is greater than zero, then I have even a small part. That was very hard and very humbling to do.
My ex never did apologize to me, or ask for any sort of forgiveness for his 99.5% and I never expect him to. But I needed to accept responsibility for my responses, reactions, animosity and other defense mechanisms that I put up when he was being the not so nice person that he was during our marriage.
Interestingly there are other events in my life that is harder for me to own and it is so much easier to see other peoples offenses against me and not see how I respond or react to those offenses as being a problem. If I was able to respond, consistently, in the same manner as Julie did with her ex and girlfriend, I would think I was making huge progress in my relationship with the Lord.
Oh Mary I don’t mean anything bad about your post but it made me chuckle. I don’t know how I did it with my ex but I do know God was the one speaking as I’m not a confrontational person at all. I would rather just back away and not have to confront someone, but He was not letting it die. The requests for help kept coming so I gave in. I know too in my marriage it was 99.5% my husbands fault, LOL but I did ask him to forgive me and today I can honestly tell my kids I tried keeping our family together but he did not want to willingly want to live with me any longer. You did the right thing by following the leading of The Lord.
Julie, I laughed at your concern about how I might interpret your response, so I guess we’re both seeing the humor (in hindsight). I too would rather step into the background and I avoid confrontation when I can. In my personal history, standing up bring noticeable generally had negative consequences, so caving is easy for me to do. Interestingly, I find I have a tendency to accept responsibility for something easily, yet not truly feel responsible, it’s just easier to be responsible than confrontational.
While I was rereading your post and doing my response, it occurred to me that perhaps because of my past of accepting blame, even when the fault really belongs to someone else, perhaps I have a tendency to be blind to the times when I really am responsible.
I really do feel the Lord trying to get me to see something, not sure I am seeing it, but I am seeing that yours and others posts this week are poking at something. I will definitely have to be praying for what that is.
I can relate to this…..”we can augment it, stereotyping, and refusing to look at the sin in ourselves. We must guard our hearts when we have been hurt and not give the devil a foothold.”
I LOVE the Keith Green song. I can remember singing it in high school youth group and then in college and so often it comes to mind and I sing it as a prayer when I am struggling. I love so many of his songs, they just SHOUT such an amazing relationship with Jesus.
some of you know this story so please feel free to skip it :-)
about 6 years ago my marriage almost ended. We had adopted a child from China, Paul was a Deacon in our church, I was a homeschool mom of 4, I was in leadership in MOPS…..and I was full of PRIDE. I didnt know it was pride, I thought my husband was just a broken man who could never understand me and never be emotionaly “there” for me and the children and I did not want to live in a “dead” marriage any longer. I pushed and pushed him to be “emotional” to love me the way I “needed” to be loved. I was angry with him
for always wanting sex and never being able to connect with me on an emotional level that I wanted. I did all the cooking , cleaning , child care, I was super woman and I hated him for being a weak man. I pushed him until he got angry because at least that was an emotion and I felt quiet superior when he would get physically agressive with me (never hitting but pushing, pinning me to the couch)
Ok, I said all that so you could understand just where I was. I went to a MOPS meeting on the day after we said we were going to seperate adn there was a book on a table that i was drawn to. it was called “becomeing his helpmeet”. I read it cover to cover that day and was BROKEN by my sin. I had taken my heart from Paul because he had hurt it and I never gave it back. All my husband wanted was for me to love him and it was the one thing I just would not/could not do. I could be super wife but I was not going to give him my heart so that he could tramble it again. Well God and I had it out that day and He promised me if I would give my heart/love back to Paul that HE would put my heart back together when he broke it. I was hit in the face with my pride when i read that book like I had never been before. I do not think its a wonderful book, it was what God used to show me my sin of pride and self protection. I still get shaky when I think about it. all the counsling we did said it was Paul. and He is emotionaly damaged and he did not change over night and he still can not cry and he still is a distent father at times, BUT I love him, I love him I love him……Because I made a CHIOCE to love him instead of hang on to my pride. I shudder when I think of that prideful/hurting Cyndi. I am so glad we have a God that heals the broken hearted.
Things have not been all roses and rainbows but I am no longer twisted and knarled with pride…..it still tries to push through, I still tend to put the layers of the dragon back on when im feeling volnorable and hurt, but I go to Aslan and BEG him to rip them off as soon as I see them.
sorry so long, but I felt it was a story that need to be retold this morning.
Cyndi, thank you for posting, to show how the breaking free of our idols can turn things around in our lives and that God is there all the time and uses many ways to get into our hearts and minds.
Cyndi, This is such a God- touched beautiful testimony. It touches me deeply. I especially like ans smile at the aspect that is ongoing, that is so like me too. “I still tend to put the layers of the dragon back on when I’m feeling vulnerable and hurt, but I go to Aslan and BEG him to rip them off as soon as I see them.”
CYNDI — THIS IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL TESTIMONY THAT ENCOURAGES US ALL TO LOOK AT OUR OWN SIN. THANK YOU.
Wow Cindy. This is so powerful, and I’m glad and I agree with you that this is a story “that need to be retold this morning.” There are parts of your story that describe my situation right now, like being in a “dead” marriage, and taking my heart from husband and never giving it back, and the sin of pride and self protection. I hope I can arrive at the point where you are someday.
Cyndi, thank you- as a newcomer I am grateful you shared this again. What a testimony to the restoration of your soul and your marriage.
This morning I pray that our eyes may be open to God’s directives, those with husbands here- become the helpmate we are intended to be and those with empty arms this morning feel the presence of Christ and his love in a real way that allows their soul to overflow with joy.
I sometimes feel guilty for having such a loving husband. I am reminded that I need to thank God for him and his ability to lead our home, truly showing me the love Christ has for the church. My life was not always this way and the fact that God brought a man into my life who can daily live out the commandments and act in love blows my mind. I recognize that my gift came after I was no longer looking to man to fulfill my needs. So regardless of my marital state I drop my burdens at the feet of the savior and raise my hands to worship Him. I am forever grateful for the passion He has in compassion for the wounded.
Cyndi, thanks for your honesty. The truth not sugar coated is what helps each of us in our struggles. It is good to know that someone has been there and truly understands.
Cyndi, I’m so glad you told us this again, as we forget and it’s always good to hear what God can do. Thank you
I am going this morning to my church – I signed up for a Bible study and it starts today. We will be using the books Empty Promises by Pete Wilson and Images of God by Dale and Sandy Larsen. I haven’t been in a face-to-face study for over 3 years and I really need this kind of fellowship. I’m not familiar with these authors but I think the first book deals with the empty things we place our trust in rather than God.
Thanks to all for your encouragement, by the way. This seems to be a week where everyone is really sharing their past and current struggles, and so many of you, like Joyce, have had heavy, heavy loads to bear.
Just saw this Susan and I am praying right now–for good fellowship, for this to be a source of encouragement and joy for you. Wish I could be there! :)
Hope your study went well, Susan. Praying for refreshed hope.
I don’t want to be a worrier–but any of you with facebook heard from Chris? She’s usually not gone this long. And still praying for dear Rebecca–any word today Dee?
I think she is at Disney world. She is posting pictures of Disney stuff on Facebook.
thanks diane! sometimes my worry-gene goes into overdrive ;)
I haven’t heard from Rebecca this morning. :-(
But I posted a video interview on my author Facebook page I did on skype with a good interviewer and Chris commented. So she is alive and kicking! I am missing her and Renee too!
Awwwh shucks…you guys bless me so!
YAY you’re back and ok, good to see you Chris!
Oh man I hope Rebecca is starting to mend. Will continue to pray for her and her family so they all get better soon.
Dee, the interview was great!
What stands out to you from the above and why?
The truth that we are all sinners
I went looking for this C.S. Lewis quote:
“Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man… It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition is gone, pride is gone.”
And found this one too:
“Whenever we find that our religious life is making us feel that we are good – above all, that we are better than someone else – I think we may be sure that we are being acted on, not by God, but by the devil.”
I am part of Gods family because He has revealed Himself to me & redeemed me, not because I earned or deserve anything over someone else , what I have I have been given, there is no room for boasting.
“Oh Father, may I and each woman doing this study be open to Your reproval, and to turn from the darkness to the light, “so that what is lame may not be put our of joint but rather healed.” (Hebrews 12:13) Help our souls to untwist and glorify You”
This brought tears and Amens
2. Most of us, like Judah, have hated, have experienced this twisting of our soul.
Can you share a time when God “broke through” to help you recognize your own wrong?
After my husband had been unfaithful to me I had very dark thoughts. I imagined running both of them over, hitting them with my car. It was a scene I delighted in, I played it over in my mind, how it would feel and sound. It is embarrassing now to admit.
I wanted to be sure that it wouldn’t happen again if I continued the marriage, I wanted certainty.
I had thoughts assail me, doubts, anger, bitterness.
I read the passage:
2 Corinthians 10:5
“5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
I knew God hates divorce, I didn’t trust my husband at that time, but I could see that he was broken and repentant. I understood that Christ had forgiven and accepted me in spite of my sin, that I needed to extend that same grace to my husband. I began to take the negative thoughts captive, and to pray quickly when they bubbled up.
I see now, looking back (this was all nearly 20 years ago) that my obedience has been rewarded beyond what I imagined possible. Bill is a different person, because of Christ, than he was then. I am so thankful I stayed through that difficult time when I so wanted to run. When Daniel was injured, I thought how much additional pain and heartache would have been endured had Bill and I been divorced, and facing that trauma.
Chris, such a powerful testimony. So glad you’re back! (next time you might let little worrier here know you’re going on vacation…or I guess I should trust and not worry ;)
Chris, loved your testomony too…I remember you telling it but it’s been a long time and it’s good to remind us of how God worked in your life then too.
Well I am caught up reading comments & really wowed!
What power there is in this weeks study, Praise God!
I have prayed for many of you as I read through, there are so many powerful stories, I am grateful for all of you!
Praying for Rebecca and Josh and for the Holy Spirit to have his way with each of us.
Glad to have you back!
Thank u all for your kind remarks
The night I went out with my dtr. to church I signed up for a weight loss program that is Christian based.
I start tht tomorrow night.
I would like to request prayer that I meet a mentor/friend there.
I will continue to trust God and pray and offer thanks that God will answer prayer in His timing not mine.
I have a notebook and a daily devotional book that I read and I write down what God is telling me.
I don’t understand all things but I know that the Lord God Almighty loves me and is mighty to save.
I can rest in that.
Thank u for your prayers and kind comments.
In Christ
Your eternal sister
Mellany
Love seeing you taking faith steps, Mellany. I am praying!
Mellany -wanted to share with you an online site called “Pray fit” that emails me a word of encouragement and powerful scriptural support for the healthy choices i am trying to make. If you have time- look it up I really love the scripture based fitness information. I am so happy you have reached out- I know first hand that it is scary -but you are not alone!
Great start Mellany…praying for you.
Mellany, we would love to know how the meeting went for you?
3. Meditate on Hebrews 12:14-15
A. What command are we given? Strive for peace with everyone! See to it no one fails to obtain the grace of God.
B. What warning? (Find warnings within the warning!)That a root of bitterness does not spring up causing trouble so that many will be defiled.
4. Review Genesis 38:24-26
A. How did Judah respond in verse 26?4. Review Genesis 38:24-26
“She is more righteous than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.”
B. This statement is both surprising and profound. What are some of the applications that you see in this statement? He did the wrong thing so she did something smart to handle it herself (though it was a sinful act)
C. What change do you see in Judah that indicated the untwisting of his soul? (Look carefully and give phrases.)Him even to admit she was more righteous and seeing his own sin by not giving his son Shelah.
I was just reading Matthew 14 of Jesus walking on the water. I’m processing out-loud here, may not make sense! When He tells Peter to come to Him, Peter is fine until the wind scares him. It wasn’t that the wind that made him sink, but that He let his fear be greater than his trust in Christ. I think about the different struggles I have had—and when I am brought to despair, or fear in them—I tend to think my despair is because of what is going on, because of my circumstances. Yet, my state of despair is not caused by my circumstances, but because I let them be greater than Him. When I take my eyes off of Him, the circumstances will consume me and bring me down. But if I continue to gaze at His truth, His face, I will be able to walk with Him even amidst the storm. Simple, but a good reminder for me. No circumstance is strong enough to take me down-nothing is stronger than Christ, and in Him I find rest and hope.
Pastor Tullian says something similar about Peter here:
http://liberatenet.org/2013/01/pastor-tullian-at-liberty-university/
Here are my notes from this part of his message:
“The focus of the Bible is not the work of the redeemed, but the work of the Redeemer.
There is nothing in the gospel or about the gospel that encourages me to focus on me. It is never honoring to God when we center our eyes on ourselves.
Peter in faith gets out of the boat, but when he looks down to see how he is doing, he begins to sink. This is the Christian version of self-improvement.”
This was really good, Diane. I really enjoy his teaching. “It is never honoring to God when we center our eyes on ourselves.” I’ve mentioned before how ‘obsessed’ I have been at times with the desire to have life without chaos. But today, looking at this Scripture afresh–I am reminded that the goal is not to have my storms calmed around me, first…but to stay so focused on Him that the wind does not startle me to fear.
Elizabeth as I read this and recall previous posts you have written about chaos I remembered something I heard years ago-
Peace is not “the absence of chaos” -Peace is “the presence of God”. Its one of those things I know logically but don’t always feel emotionally. I keep thinking if chaos is gone I can focus better on Him but the fact is I question if chaos is eliminated and life is cleaned up and simple would I turn to God like I do in the storm? Reminds me of a song asking for it to “rain” in order to be uncomfortable and draw closer to the savior.
No Peace, No God
Know Peace, Know God
Sorry I said that backwards.
No God, No Peace
Know God, Know Peace
Praise God Elizabeth…I find that I do the same thing…if I take my eyes off of him.
4. He saw his sin, before he didnt see his sin as sin. I cant help but wonder if he would have EVER saw his sin if he had not been afraid of being found out.
I think its the secret sins that are the hardest to see, confess, and repent of. Its so easy to rationalize our actions until someone else sees them and calls us out.
First of all a few comments…I was reading the blog at lunch time but was not able to make comments; I made some notes for responding after work.
Becca, what great thoughts about how even the smallest of root allowed to remain causes havoc…reminds me of a root canal; if all of the root is not cleaned out, the pain/pressure/infection is bound to return.
Cyndi, thanks SO much for sharing about your past marital issues; you gave me much food for thought on pride…my own pride that doesn’t necessarily appear to be pride, but surely is. Loved the God-incidence of you finding that book at the most opportune moment…
Chris, I am appreciative of your post regarding your struggle with your marital relationship; you provided the answer I was looking for…”how can I stop thinking, obsessing on a hurt when my mind gets stuck in that track?”…your answer: recite choice scripture verses; refocus your mind on scriptural texts (or as Cyndi suggested, perhaps a singing a select hymn)…thanks gals.
Mellany, I’m so sorry for what you are going through…I wish I had words that could make it better, but I feel speechless. Kudos to you for stepping forward in the Christian based weight loss program…I will pray for you to meet a friend/mentor, as well as finding direction regarding your marriage. Each small step takes you one step further to where you want to be.
This morning I was reading “Renovation of the Heart in Daily Practice”…Dallas Willard & Jan Johnson. What a gift I received…
“The primary learning in spiritual formation is not about how to act, just as the primary wrongness or problem in human life is not what we do…it is who we are in our thoughts, feelings, disposition, and choices–in the inner life–that counts. … we mistakenly, try to be loving by acting patiently and kindly–and we quickly fail. …little progress is to be made in that arena until we advance in love itself–the genuine inner readiness and longing to secure the good of others. Until we make significant progress there, our patience and kindness will be shallow and short-lived at best.”
The concept is the same for forgiveness, non-judgment, etc. …I can “act” forgiving and non-judgmental, but unless it truly comes from my heart than it is “shallow and short-lived at best.” Maybe this is the why those hurts/disappointments that I think I am over resurface…maybe I haven’t really forgiven in my heart and am trying to “stuff it” by “acting” forgiving.
3. Meditate on Hebrews 12:14-15
A. What command are we given?
Work to live at peace with all; to live a holy life.
B. What warning? (Find warnings within the warning!)
Those who are not holy will not see God; watch out for the growth of the poisonous root of bitterness; one’s bitterness has the capacity to corrupt many.
4. Review Genesis 38:24-26
A. How did Judah respond in verse 26?
Judah recognized and admitted that his actions were what prompted/necessitated Tamar to take the actions she did; Judah was acutely aware of his guilt due to his lack of righteousness.
Nanci, that is a great quote from Willard and Johnson. It gives me a lot to think about. I can see how easy it is to make up my mind to try to “act kindly”, etc…towards others, but even my motivation can be so self-serving! I may want others to think highly of me (oh isn’t she nice!) or I may even be feeding my own idols of approval/affirmation or security – trying to get my own needs met, which means I’m not focused on the other person at all – my true motivation is not “longing to secure the good of others”.
I’ve observed it in some very mature Christian women – they are so secure in their own relationship with God that they are motivated for the good of others and forgetful of themselves.
My exact thoughts. On the way to work today I was thinking of the many masks that I wear trying to seek approval of others, when my focus should be on Him. Through this blog, my eyes have been opened to my own sin over and over again, and I thank you and Him for that.
I know what you mean VJ
Love your Dallas Willard quote. So good. Pray for me as I plan our Lenten study which is related to this.
I will pray Dee
I also appreciated the quote….I long to ‘advance in love itself’
3. Meditate on Hebrews 12:14-15
A. What command are we given?
I am going to personalize this for me: “Susan, you are to pursue peace with all men, and pursue the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. Susan, see to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled.”
I looked up a few words in the Concordance:
“pursue” – to run swiftly in order to catch a person or thing, to press on: figuratively of one who in a race runs swiftly to reach the goal; to seek after eagerly, earnestly endeavor to acquire.
“sanctification” – consecration, purification, sanctification of heart and life.
So when it is up to me (and as Keller says, in the matter of forgiveness or peace-making, it is always our move first) – I am to have the attitude of eagerly and earnestly endeavoring to make things right between me and the other person; wow, no dragging my feet or being reluctant here. And as I do this, it is part of my being sanctified, which is another matter that I am to be seeking after eagerly and earnestly, meaning I have to be willing to cooperate with the Holy Spirit.
And, I am to see to it that I do not allow a root of bitterness (“pikria” – extreme wickedness, a bitter root producing a bitter fruit, bitter hatred) to spring up in me that will defile (contaminate, pollute) others. I am trying to see how this is connected with the first part, to see to it that no one comes short of the grace of God…could this mean that we as believers are to exhort and even reprove one another if we see bitterness in a fellow believer and/or that an unbeliever may miss the grace of God because of our bitterness?
B. What warning? (Find warnings within the warning!)
No one who is not sanctified (made pure) will see the Lord.
Some may miss (come short of) the grace of God – it’s possible.
Bitterness causes trouble and can defile many.
Loved how you personalized it to fit you, Susan
Yes — I think this is true Susan, this, what you pondered:
could this mean that we as believers are to exhort and even reprove one another if we see bitterness in a fellow believer and/or that an unbeliever may miss the grace of God because of our bitterness?
Review Genesis 38: 24-26
A. How did Judah respond in verse 26?
He admitted his guilt because he says she is more righteous than he.
B. This statement is both surprising and profound. What are some of the applications that you see in this statement?
He realized his sin was way worse than her sin. She was just trying to receive what was expected in that time for widows. She would have no other choice. He had the upper hand and allowed her to be harmed.
C. What change do you see in Judah that indicated the untwisting of his soul? (Look carefully and give phrases.)
He knew he couldn’t sleep with her again because she was now more “revered” in his eyes. He says she is more righteous. He saw his flaw.
You are a model of a teachable heart, something we all need every day.
4. Review Genesis 38:24-26
A. How did Judah respond in verse 26?
He recognized his personal belongings, and realized that he had not slept with some temple prostitute, but it was his daughter-in-law. His response, “She is more righteous than I, inasmuch as I did not give her to my son Shelah” indicates that he recognized his own sin and how it affected Tamar.
B. This statement is both surprising and profound. What are some of the applications that you see in this statement?
Surprising because his statement prior to this one was “…let her be burned!”
I don’t know how to explain this but it’s as if he was totally blind to his sin in his indifference toward Tamar, blaming her for his sons’ deaths, promising her something he never intended to fulfill, sending her away so he could just forget about her. But when tangible objects were placed in his hands, his eyes were opened. There was the evidence of his part in this matter. He could not deny what was staring him in the face. I like that he made no excuses and conceded that Tamar had acted more righteously than him.
Applications – Dee wrote that our lives can be filled with “ungrace” when we forget our own sinfulness. When I allow bitterness to take over my heart, my words and actions are so influenced by it and I can be blind to it, yet many times I realize that the other person whom I see as the “offender” is acting more righteously than me.
Also, sometimes I need to recognize my “signet ring, cords, and staff”, meaning when I see the undeniable evidence of my sin – a broken relationship, hurting my child with my words or tone of voice enough to produce tears, the fall-out from a lie, my sin causing another to fall into sin…this verse tells me to open my eyes and see-recognize; like Judah finally did.
C. What change do you see in Judah that indicated the untwisting of his soul? (Look carefully and give phrases)
His anger and bitterness toward Tamar-wanting her burned, suddenly seems to vanish.
“And Judah recognized them” – he didn’t try to say that those were not his things, so he was admitting publicly that he was the father of her child. I think he recognized more than his stuff – he recognized how he’d hurt Tamar.
“She is more righteous than I” – Judah is humbling himself and giving honor to Tamar
“I did not give her to my son Shelah” – admits his wrong
“he did not have relations with her again” – he is the child’s father, but he keeps the
proper boundaries with Tamar.
I pray you are feeling better Rebecca; is it the influenza? I heard eight people have died of it here in Nebraska:( I thought I was escaping the worst of it, but today I’ve been worse. Maurice and kendra are doing much better now. Hope no one else gets this crude! As I type, I have a kleenex stuffed up one nostral to keep it from running! Kendra is laughing at me! It seems to last about a week. I’ll sure be glad when it’s gone from this house and I can fumigate it!
sorry you are still feeling awful, Joyce. Hope you feel better real soon. This is nasty stuff.
Oh Joyce, So sorry to hear you have it too. :( So you do the kleenex stuffed in the nostril? I do that too. :) I will pray for you sister-hope you all get this out of your home fast!
So glad to see you back on here Rebecca…how are you feeling? I’m alittle better tonight…praying for you and your family to escape this.
Joyce…you just lay low with your kleenex stuck up your nostril and take good care…more people do that “kleenex in the nostril” thing than what you think…how else to keep the nasal drip from dripping out…:)
Going through some very tough struggles with Sarah these days. Satan is near and spewing his lies to her. Would you please pray for her? Pray for her to remember Jesus, be concerned about being a sinner, and making good choices. Pray for me as well; to know the correct things to say to her to help her understand. Thanks.
Dear Lord, we pray for Sarah and Laura dancer. Do your work, Lord. Help Sarah and Laura to see your truth and love for them. Give Laura your love and patience toward Sarah, and to not believe Satan’s lies.
Lord, You know what is needed…draw Sarah ever closer; shield her from the evil one; help her to be acutely aware of Your presence. May Your Holy Spirit equip Laura. Amen.
Yes, Lord I pray with these women for Sarah and for laura, her mother, to say and do the right things, as Sarah is so vulnerable now. Please keep the Evil one at bay and let Sarah draw near to you, Lord.
Praying for Sarah, your mom, and for you Laura.
3. Meditate on Hebrews 12:14-15
Hebrews 12:14-15
English Standard Version (ESV)
14 Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
A. What command are we given?
Strive for peace with everyone and for holiness.
B. What warning? (Find warnings within the warning!)
Without holiness no one will see the Lord. ESV Study Bible says, “Holiness is clearly expected of all Christians (without which no one will see the Lord… holy living is a part of the perseverance encouraged throughout Hebrews.”
It is possible to fail to obtain the grace of God. We should do everything we can to help others understand and receive God’s grace.
ESV Study Bible notes say, “The author warns against “bitterness” by alluding to Deut. 29:18, which describes one who turns away from God and pursues other gods. A bitter and resentful person is like a contagious poison, spreading his resentment to others.” It is a form of hatred and is a poison to me and all around me.
So I see that bitterness is pursuing an idol – sometimes that idol is control, like when I obsess about my difficult situation, trying to fix and control things that are not up to me to fix and control. Sometimes that idol is security/comfort when I see my pleasures threatened and I start blaming others and God for not giving me the things I think I need and deserve.
Basically I am making myself God, thinking I know better than He does. Tim Keller says, “Worry is not believing God will get it right, and bitterness is believing God got it wrong.”
I started to look at the verses in Hebrews in their context and found lots of more helpful stuff. Here are the verses and then some of my thoughts for those who are interested. It is a bit lengthy so feel free to skip.
(Hebrews 12:3-15 ESV)
“Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”
It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;”
(Hebrews 12:3-15 ESV)
My thoughts:
Much of our Christian life is difficult. God is not as interested in our happiness as in our holiness. His discipline is like surgery; painful but for our good.
First of all we need to focus on Christ while enduring discipline: “Consider him” (vs. 3) Without our focus on Him, nothing else makes sense. We can lose hope and despair.
The next verses tell us why he disciplines us. It is because he loves us like sons. He does it for our good so that we may become holy, and bear the fruit of righteousness. “For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives”, “but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness”, it “yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”
So then we should: “not grow weary or fainthearted”, “do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary”, “lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet,” as well as “Strive for peace”, “See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up”.
The writer of the Hebrews keeps mentioning “don’t grow weary”. This is a marathon. Endurance is critical. Don’t give up. The prize is ahead. God knows us well. The flesh is weak. We don’t like working hard, especially when we don’t see that good is coming from it. We have to keep our eyes on the goal – Christ and our Christlikeness.
Also in vs. 13 it mentions that the discipline is because there is something “LAME” in our life that needs to be “healed” to make us righteous, and holy. If we interpret “the grace of God” in verse 15 as not just salvation but God’s daily continuing “grace” (undeserved favor) in our lives, we can see that His discipline is because God loves us SO much that He does not want to see us continuing to limp because of our sin, but healed and leaping in his praises with our feet “like hinds’ feet”. We need to cooperate by not getting discouraged or giving up, by not taking it lightly, by striving for peace in our relationships, and seeing the big picture so that we do not become bitter which poison us and those around us.
Personally, I KNOW there is LOTS “lame” in my life and I WANT IT HEALED. Lord, help me to submit and to keep running this race with my eyes on You. Make me holy, Lord. Whatever it takes!
How you are pressing in in the midst of distress, Diane.
Wow this is great ‘food for thought’ this morning Diane!
I know I’ll be reading this a few more times to let it penetrate my thinking!
I haven’t spoken to a my ex best friend for two years, not because I was angry with her but because our relationship was very unhealthy and idolatrous.
Because we have mutual friends I may have to see her at a function and it’s giving me anxiety because she has always been a in your face type.
I am hoping she has grown and learned not to resent me for cutting off a relationship that was unhealthy for both of us.
Thanks for your kind words, Laura Marie. Praying for you as you meet this former friend that you will trust in the Lord and be wise in your conversation with her.
Thank you for going the extra mile here, Diane, to put these verses all in their context and then to share your own thoughts.
Diane–this is beautiful–really ministered to me. I especially appreciated your insights “Without our focus on Him, nothing else makes sense. We can lose hope and despair.”
Yesterday Rebecca said she was making a turn, getting better.
I’m so glad Rebecca is feeling a bit better. Give her our love.
Love you Diane! :) How are things going with you lately? I have been praying for you all. I so admire how you have been pressing in to Him. :-)
Hi, Rebecca. Glad the aches are gone even if you are not completely better.
Things are fairly calm here at the moment. I would appreciate prayers for Krista. She has a job interview today and no way to get there. It is too cold to take the bus and even if she could, it would take a really long time to get there (very poor connections). We are having FRIGID temperatures here in eastern Canada this week. Dangerous to be out for too long. But if God wants her to have this job …
For those of you who have prayed for Krista and the job situation, she has found a drive. Now may the interview go well.
I pray for Krista to have an opportunity to shine and that God open doors for her.
Amen to Becca’s prayer…
Thank you! It seemed to go well. This is what I wrote on my Facebook status:
“Job interview seemed to go well. I’m excited about the possibility of working there! Actually got to stay and play with the kids for about an hour because the car wouldn’t start! Had to wait for CAA. Just needed a boast, it’s soo cold! But I had fun, and the kids seemed to warm up to me fairly well. :) I love the after-school age group. Well, I love ALL kids’ age groups, but with after-schoolers they are more independent. And 3 of them totally kicked my butt at air hockey. :P It was fun!”
Thing is there was another girl there at the same time being interviewed, and also hung around with the kids for a bit, and was still there when I left. She seemed really nice and good with the kids, but it made it feel more competitive. I wish it had just been me there getting to know the kids. Who knows how long she stayed after I did. So, that makes me worry a bit, but what will be will be!
I will pray about this right now Krista–for His will regarding this job. I’m so thankful you were able to get there and it went well. Hold to hope!
Praying too Krista, but if you don’t get this day care job, there will be something that will be a perfect fit for you and a ride too, because we are all praying for you!
When will you hear news about the job Krista?
1. What stands out to you from the above and why?
The video..I am like those men who were going to stone her-judgmental look at other’s sins and not my own, yet needy for His Mercy and Grace like the woman for I sin!
Also the twisting of the soul-how easily our condemnation of others when they sin against us leads to bitterness-how satan uses it to crush us and destroy us, but how God wants to free us like He did with Judah-how He wants to jolt us awake.
2. Most of us, like Judah, have hated, have experienced this twisting of our soul.
Can you share a time when God “broke through” to help you recognize your own wrong?
I have to go back to when my first husband left me. I was a brand new believer the last year of our marriage. He left out of the blue-when I came home from work everything was gone. I was devastated, but when I found out he was seeing someone else-I was angry-went into anger mode and remember screaming on the phone to him-”How could you do this to me?!” My soul was beginning to twist..I didn’t realize it but God went before me and was breaking through in my heart before my husband left..I happened to be reading the book “Beloved Unbeliever-Loving your husband into the faith” and I was working on our marriage-really loving him-God revealed to me through that book, my sin which was not loving him well..so God was already softening my heart toward him and had me razor focused on his spiritual condition, not his sin and had me focused on repenting and turning from my sin.
While I was hurt and angry-especially when he filed for divorce so quickly after he left-and when I tried to recommend us getting into counseling he refused. Eventually God broke through again before my soul could twist any further. I can’t recall exactly how God did it but He had my eyes focused on HIM-I recall saying to myself-Okay my husband is gone, I will solely focus on Jesus, and as I kept Him as the center of my life-as a single especially- I could really focus on Him. I was able to forgive my husband completely for leaving me and having an affair-I think it was easier because God showed me my sin in the marriage of not loving well so I didn’t see him leaving me as it all being his fault even though having the affair was wrong. There was no hate, no animosity, nothing bad against him at all. That is the Lord-not me. :)
Thanks for sharing that rebecca. And look what God had in store for you…your wonderful husband and boys…things always turn out for the best when we love God!
Sisters, I have tried to read some of your comments! Thanks so much for praying for me..I am on the mend but have this horrible cough..I have a history of-I can’t recall but think they said they suspected I had COPD..whatever that is but I have to be careful when these things go to my lungs..I have had bronchitis about every year and pneumonia a couple of times so I am keeping an eye on it to see if it gets better. I am sure it will..Thanks so much for praying! I just enjoy not having those horrible body aches anymore-Praise God these things pass! :)
I’ve missed you so much Rebecca–will continue to pray for complete healing!
Good to hear the you are improving, Rebecca. Take good care.
chronic obstructive pulmanary disorder. :-) basicly the lining of your lungs gets swollen and you cant get enough air in them. take care of yourself!
Cyndi, THanks for that info-you must be right because that is what it is basically! I have had asthma my whole life along with chronic bronchitis the past five or six years. A few years ago when they had me blow in this tube it was way below what it should be, and the Doctor said, you mean you have been like this for this long and not gotten seen? I am not great at going to the Doctor..So then he prescribed Advair. :)
Is it the influenza A or B? We have the B and Kendra and I had the flu shot last Oct. It is a nagging deep cough that is so hard to get rid of. Please take care, so it don’t get worse.
Joyce, I am not sure what type..In my case I got on Tamiflu right away which made a huge difference. Some doctors say it doesn’t make a difference but this is my second go around with the drug and it does for me at least. I do have that nagging cough left over but I am doing my asthma inhaler in the morning and that seems to help throughout the day-but at night it is hard to breathe-so I have to take it again.
Thanks ladies for praying for me, I am feeling much better. :)
So glad to know it!
Judah’s turn was huge! For one I am sure based on the pattern of favorites that Benjamin was probably treated with more favoritism than Joseph. Yet Judah pledged his life for safely returning Benjamen. So now we see an exchange, take me in my brothers place. Judah now knows too what this will do to his father if he loses the last son of his beloved Rachel. Judah is no longer thinking of himself.
Isn’t that a wonderful parallel? Good discernment, Angela.
3. Meditate on Hebrews 12:14-15
A. What command are we given?
I read the passage as well as a reference from Deuteronomy 29:18
“…that there may not be among you a root bearing bitterness or wormwood ”
Bitterness is like a bad cancerous growth that starts with resentment and animosity in one person but quickly spread to a group of individuals.
It zaps you of your focus, peace and eventually your relationship with Christ.
I’ve seen bitterness spread in my own family. It’s a generational curse. My grandfather was a bitter resentful man who hated my grandmother and did nothing but talk ill of my grandmother even though she passed years before he did. He was bitter with her because she would not divorce him. I heard stories in my family of how my one Aunt refused to talk to her own mother for over twenty years.
I have a brother and sister who have not spoken in over 30 yrs to each other.
My mother is bitter and resentful toward my father and jokes she knows she will go to hell over it.
I have struggled in this area my whole life but only recently have started to allow the Holy Spirit in me to release myself from the anger I have held toward certain individuals. This have given me great inner peace and has helped me to grow in the Lord.
B. What warning? (Find warnings within the warning!)
In Deauteronmy bitterness is warned to not spread through the community and eventually nation.
In Hebrews it is warned to not spread in the individual , it can quickly grow and reach those around you.
Wow — Laura Marie — you certainly have experienced this. Thankful for your peace in the Lord.
As I read this I thought is seems a picture of what Satan has done…spread his bitterness like a cancer.
“Bitterness is like a bad cancerous growth that starts with resentment and animosity in one person but quickly spread to a group of individuals.”
Meditate on Hebrews 12:14-15
What command are we given?
We are commanded to strive for peace with EVERYONE. Looking up the definition helped me, this requires effort on my part.
definition of STRIVE
1: to devote serious effort or energy : endeavor
2: to struggle in opposition : contend
We are commanded also to look to the interest of others by making sure they do not fail to obtain grace.
And to be on the lookout for roots of bitterness :
BiblicalDefinition: Holding on to or showing feelings of intense [strong] animosity [hatred, anger], resentment or vindictiveness [wanting to get back at someone]. — Other words that describe bitterness are: merciless, unforgiving, holding a grudge. Bitterness is also described as feelings resulting from something that is difficult to accept.
Review Genesis 38:24-26
A. How did Judah respond in verse 26?
Judah responded with acknowledgment for his part in the situation. The message version states “She is in the right; I am in the wrong”. He did not say we both messed up. He sees that if he had done right to begin with that she would not have been in a situation to sin.
This statement is both surprising and profound. What are some of the applications that you see in this statement?
It makes me think how a sin we commit, whether it be inward or outward, can lead others to sin and stumble in their walk. Although we may never know the end results here on earth and see the “womb” bearing our transgressions, we are in the wrong. I must be on high alert to keep vigilant in my walk.
I do not want to pass germs when I am ill especially to those I love. I try to ensure harmful bacteria and viruses do not spread to others, making them ill and suffer. I will wash my hands a million times before holding or playing with my grandchildren who are especially vulnerable. As soon as I realize I am ill I take precaution to protect others from the potential suffering. I must also keep vigilant that my sin is discovered as soon as it forms. It must be exposed and removed in order to protect others from the illness, suffering and destruction I may spread. As I strive to demonstrate God’s love to the people here on earth I want to help protect them from the suffering sin causes.
Thanks for your analogy, Becca. I don’t think I ever thought of bitterness in that context, but how true…
What warning? (Find warnings within the warning!)
I must be overdoing it but I see more than one?
“That we will not see the Lord without the holiness we must strive for”
and “that roots of bitterness will cause trouble and defile many.”
I am eager to know more about this passage.
The commentaries I read didn’t illuminate much
Chris: Here is Spurgeon on it:
http://www.spurgeon.org/sermons/2902.htm
Sum it up and let us know. I think I know, but want to see what you glean.
Thank you Dee!
I read through this one and it lead me to hunt for this one, a sermon on both verses;
http://www.spurgeongems.org/vols16-18/chs940.pdf
I am so behind with my work, and absolutely must get to the vet and then grocery shop so my summary will have to wait. Both the sermons were so rich!
I am convicted about a couple of things, one relational and one personal after reading these.
We have been pounded with heavy snow and bitter cold, I haven’t left the house since we got home Monday night. Today is sunny and not so very cold, so out I must go!
Brrrr. Yes — go get provisions!
I have sort of gone off on a tangent here, I know this is long, no one needs to feel compelled to read it, I am doing it for myself!
14 Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. 15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;
I have had a limited understanding (and still do, I know), of what the holiness that we are called to strive for really is, or what it looks like.
I knew that to be holy meant to be ‘set apart’
The following is from The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia
“In psalm and prophecy, however, a purely ethical conception comes into view–the conception of a human holiness which rests upon righteousness and truth (Psalms 15:1) and the possession of a contrite and humble spirit (Isaiah 57:15). This corresponds to the knowledge of a God who, being Himself ethically holy, esteems justice, mercy and lowly piety more highly than sacrifice (Hosea 6:6; Micah 6:6-8).”
“But Jesus proclaimed a new view of religion and morality according to which men are cleansed or defiled, not by anything outward, but by the thoughts of their hearts (Matthew 15:17-20), and God is to be worshipped neither in Samaria nor Jerusalem, but wherever men seek Him in spirit and in truth (John 4:21-24).
The New Testament leaves no room for the thought of a holiness divorced from those moral qualities which the holy God demands of those whom He has called to be His people.”
I see the temptation to legalism that can be indulged as one starts to think of personal holiness. There is always that inclination to compare ourselves with others. But I am convicted that I have taken too light a view of the call to work hard at being set apart, in my thoughts and actions, especially were food is concerned. It consumes far too much of my thoughts time and effort. I indulge my comfort idol through food and feel the need to take stock in this bent and provide more resistance than I have been willing or able to in the past.
Spurgeon on Holiness:
“Now, we do not follow imputed righteousness, for as soon as we put our trust in Christ we are justified through His righteousness. It is not a Grace to be followed, it is a benefit possessed already by every Christian. This text deals with inward, personal holiness, and nothing else. Imputed holiness is a gross misuse of terms. It is not Scriptural, and it is a thorough perversion of this passage to force such a sense upon it. This is a holiness produced in us by the Holy Spirit, which we progressively manifest in our hearts and lives.”
“Follow holiness, without which no man can see the Lord.” I understand by this sentence, in the first place, that no person who is unholy can see or understand Christ the Lord, or God His Father. That is to say, he does not know who Christ is so as to have any real fellowship with Him. He may know His name, and know His history, and have some theo- retical ideas of what the Redeemer did and is, but he cannot see with spiritual eyesight as holy men do. He cannot, in fact, discern the spiritual Character and teaching of the Lord.”
“Now, see, my dear Friends, the text says, “Follow holiness.” Follow it, that is to say, you will not gain it by standing still. Nobody ever grew holy without consenting, desiring, and agonizing to be holy. Sin will grow without sowing, but holiness needs cultivation. Follow it, it will not run after you. You must pursue it with determination, with eagerness, with long-continued perseverance, as a hunter pursues his prey. You have not yet gained all the holiness which you may have and ought to have.”
“A moral man does not swear, but a holy man adores. A moral man would not commit outward sin. A holy man would not commit inward sin—and over that inward sin, if committed—he would pour forth floods of tears. I can hardly explain to you the word “holy,” except by calling you to notice that it comes from the same Saxon root as the words “heal,” “whole,” and “all.” A man who is made spiritually whole is a complete man, all the virtues are there. His heart is right as well as his outward acts. Heal, all, whole, wholly, holy, by these steps you reach the word. A holy man aims to be like God, complete in His Character, motives, and thoughts—renewed after the image of Him that created Him in righteousness and true holiness.”
This from Spurgeon was a comfort…I do have the desire… the yearning.
“Now, if our text said that, without perfection of holiness, no man, could have any communion with Christ, it would shut every one of us out, for no one, who knows his own heart, ever pretends to be perfectly conformed to God’s will. It does not say, “Perfection of holiness,” mark; but “holiness.” This holiness is a thing of growth. It may be in the soul as the grain of mustard-seed, and yet not developed; it may be in the heart as a wish and a desire, rather than anything that has been fully realized,—a groaning, a panting, a longing, a striving. As the Spirit of God waters it, it will grow till the mustard-seed shall become a tree. Holiness, in a regenerate heart, is but an infant; it is not matured,—perfect it is in all its parts, but not perfect in its development. Hence, when we find many imperfections and many failings in ourselves, we are not to conclude that, therefore, we have no interest in the grace of God.”
The next verse after the ones we have been studying convicted me, especially after I read the commentary below on it.
“16 that no one is sexually immoral or unholy like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal. “
From Jamieson, Fausset, and Brown’s Commentary On the Whole Bible:
fornicator– (Heb 13: 4; 1Co 10: 8). or profane– Fornication is nearly akin to gluttony, Esau’s sin. He profanely cast away his spiritual privilege for the gratification of his palate. Ge 25: 34 graphically portrays him. An example well fitted to strike needful horror into the Hebrews, whosoever of them, like Esau, were only sons of Isaac according to the flesh [BENGEL]. for one morsel– The smallness of the inducement only aggravates the guilt of casting away eternity for such a trifle, so far is it from being a claim for mercy (compare Ge 3: 6). One single act has often the greatest power either for good or for evil.”
Yikes, this is quite a warning! It is easy to skip over it sort of thinking ‘I have no birthright to loose as Esau did’, but we/ I am warned so what am I giving up when I lust after food?
I am praying for a greater awareness of my sin here, for a loosing of the bonds it has on me by the Spirit. I shopped very differently yesterday. I desire to have food and eating to be appropriate, a good gift enjoyed rightly, not elevated, not worshipped. I have sort of winked at gluttony,I certainly have not “poured forth floods of tears” over it. I don’t want it to come between Christ and me anymore.
Spurgeon:
“I do not suppose any of us have in our most desponding moments ever grasped the desperate character of our own ruin by nature, and the terrible character of our personal sinfulness apart from Christ. You are undone. In your flesh there dwells no clean thing, and even your righteousnesses are as filthy rags. O child of God, get to the foot of the Cross and lie there. But what then? By all-conquering faith look up and say, “Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, my faith is fixed on Him. O You precious Lamb of God, like the publican I cry, ‘Be merciful to me, a sinner,’ renew me, cleanse me, purge me. I hate my sins, deliver me from their power, keep me that I sin not against You. Hold me up and I shall be safe. On the blood which cleanses I depend. O let it come to me in all its purifying, sanctifying, force—and make and keep me pure within!”
The second thing the Spurgeon sermons and contemplating these verses convicted me of was that maybe I do have a root of bitterness where my sister is concerned.
I have mentioned her before, she was married to a manipulative controlling husband who separated her from everyone, he treated us as enemies who were not to be trusted. They hurt our family repeatedly, said so many untrue and hurtful things. I thought I had forgiven, but now she is struggling and I feel angry when I think about her. If she is in need of my help, I don’t want to be indifferent, I am praying for guidance, if I need to repent where she is concerned that God will make that plain to me. I am praying for emotional health and restoration for the whole family.
This is from Spurgeon on pursuing peace:
“The text says, “Follow peace,” and the word “follow” indicates a hunter in pursuit of his game. He tracks the foot- steps of his prey. He follows it over hill and dale, by the edge of the precipice, over the dangerous ridge, across the brook and along the river, through the wood and down the glen. Follow peace in this way. That is, do not merely be peaceful if nobody irritates you, but go out of your way to be peaceful—give up many things that you have a right to enjoy. The respect that is due to you, be willing to forego. In fine, yield all but Truth for peace’s sake.
“Charity suffers long, and is kind.” “Charity bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Often the Alpine hunter, when pursuing the chamois, will leap from crag to crag. He will wear out the live-long day. He will spend the night upon the mountain’s cold brow, and then descend to the valleys. Then it is up again to the hills—as though he could never tire, and could never rest until he has found his prey. So perseveringly, with strong resolve to imitate your Lord and Master, follow peace with all.”
Sorry this is so long, I needed to form my thoughts and am grateful for the opportunity
LOVE all of this Spurgeon–I have always loved his “directness”. Thanks for posting Chris, I’m still “chewing” on it…“’Follow holiness.’ Follow it, that is to say, you will not gain it by standing still.”
Chris, Thank you for going off on a tangent…I have gone back to read this a few times. I love Spurgeon, I have a very thick book with a number of his sermons and God has used them alot in speaking to me in the things I need to hear. Actually the one thing that God reminded me of is that it has been some time since the last time I worked through a Spurgeon sermon and that is something I need to do on a more regular basis. But thank you again, your “tangent” helped me alot this week.
5. Read Genesis 44:16-34
Find phrases that show that Judah’s soul has been untwisted — that he now has a heart of compassion.
“we stand guilty before you, ready to be your slaves” Judah knowing he had not stolen from Joseph’s house was taking responsibility in spite of his innocence. Offering himself to take the blame and share the burden of his brothers!
“He’ll die of grief and we,…will have killed him” demonstrating that Judah rather than blaming Benjamin as guilty, entitled to slavery and responsible for Isaac’s death (due to his absence)- took responsibility onto himself for being the potential catalyst in Isaac’s death.
“Let me stay here as your slave”- this makes me weep as I feel this symbolizes the sacrifice Christ made for us by standing in our place and taking our punishment.
If I am truly following Christ, I need to walk away from proving I am right/righteous and take on other’s pain.
““Let me stay here as your slave”- this makes me weep as I feel this symbolizes the sacrifice Christ made for us by standing in our place and taking our punishment.”
I felt the same when I read it
What stood out to you and why?
The wreath reminds me of all the nights I have spent twisting and turning in bed thinking and rehearsing how I could fix my problems. Instead, i should have turned them over to God, the only one who could help. Please Lord, cleanse me of my idol of pride.
What command are we given?
Be the peacemakers of the world. By striving for peace, you are showing grace to others.
What warning?
Do not let the root of bitterness take hold, as it will keep coming back and cause trouble.
How Did Judah respond in Verse 26?
He recognized her righteousness and his own sin.
This statement is both surprising and profound. What are some of the applications that you see in this statement.
He admitted in front of others that he had sinned against her. His pride would have been hurt. I believe admitting to others our sin is the first step in healing. He also acknowledged that he lied to her about his son, Shelah. He thought her to be more righteous than him, even when she sinned also.
Find phrases that show that Judah’s soul has been untwisted – that he now has a heart of compassion.
Being innocent, he took the blame along with Benjamin for the cup found in Benjamin’s sack. He had compassion for his fathers other son by Rachel by not wanting to take him from his father. He would have given his life so Benjamin could return to his father.
4. Review Genesis 38:24-26
A. How did Judah respond in verse 26? He stopped is vendetta against Tamar and said that she was more righteous than him.
B. This statement is both surprising and profound. What are some of the applications that you see in this statement?
He didn’t make excuses for himself or follow through with his vengeance against Tamar. God is more concerned with injustices (especially against widows and orphans) than He is with individual sin.
The issue that I haven’t seen discussed is that Shelah was sinning also. As a man, it was his duty to raise up an offspring for his brother, not wait for his father to get the ball rolling or wait for his permission.
Tamar had recourse also which she failed to do she should have brought the matter to the elders.
Deut. 25:5 5 “When brothers live together and one of them dies and has no son, the wife of the deceased shall not be married outside the family to a strange man. Her husband’s brother shall go in to her and take her to himself as wife and perform the duty of a husband’s brother to her. 6 It shall be that the firstborn whom she bears shall [a]assume the name of his dead brother, so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel. 7 But if the man does not desire to take his brother’s wife, then his brother’s wife shall go up to the gate to the elders and say, ‘My husband’s brother refuses to establish a name for his brother in Israel; he is not willing to perform the duty of a husband’s brother to me.’ 8 Then the elders of his city shall summon him and speak to him. And if he persists and says, ‘I do not desire to take her,’ 9 then his brother’s wife shall come to him in the sight of the elders, and pull his sandal off his foot and spit in his face; and she shall declare, ‘Thus it is done to the man who does not build up his brother’s house.’ 10 In Israel his name shall be called, ‘The house of him whose sandal is removed.’ ”
Even though multiple sins were committed, God used these people to bless the world through eternity. Perez grew to be so great a man that he was used as a blessing “Moreover, may your house be like the house of Perez whom Tamar bore to Judah, through the offspring which the Lord will give you by this young woman.” Ruth 4:12.
If everyone had made the right choices then Christ still would have been from the line of Judah, just with Shelah as a father. Instead although we are given free will and we make horrible decisions, God’s will and purpose is still done. Through His grace He uses our sin for good. That doesn’t mean that we should sin—Romans 6:1 “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase? 2 May it never be!…”
That’s an interesting insight about Tamar and the elders…
Good stuff Dawn!
Dawn I reread this a few times “God’s will and purpose is still done. Through His grace He uses our sin for good.” I keep thinking how great is our God who overcomes and completes His will in spite of our failures. And isnt it so amazing how we get to see the big picture- the complete story of a repentant sinner played out! It gives hope that our past mistakes do not limit our ability to serve God in a mighty way. I know how I appreciate and find hope in the success stories of overcomers- such as someone overweight or financially struggling who succeed and overcome similar challenges as I face. those stories mean much more to me than the always been thin /always been financially secure. God’s word is filled with “see what I, the almighty creator, did in this pathetic life- give me a chance and I can do great things for the kingdom with yours too! when i read of the failures of humans and the triumph of God I am renewed. I am like Judah. I embrace my selfishness and insecurities rather than obey my Father. Yet in his story I am reminded of how God can work in spite of my failure and sin if only I chose Him! Hallelujah!
So easy to embrace our insecurities — yet, yes, God can work!
5. Read Genesis 44:16-34
Find phrases that show that Judah’s soul has been untwisted — that he now has a heart of compassion.
He was actually concerned about his father, and what taking Benjamin would do to him. He even offered himself up to take his place.
4. Review Genesis 38:24-26
A. How did Judah respond in verse 26?
He said “She is more righteous than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.”
B. This statement is both surprising and profound. What are some of the applications that you see in this statement?
His eyes are opened to his own sin, he is convicted, humbled.
C. What change do you see in Judah that indicated the untwisting of his soul? (Look carefully and give phrases.)
He publicly declares her more righteous—owning his sin completely. After he admits his own sin, he turns away from it—the mark of true repentance.
5. Read Genesis 44:16-34
Find phrases that show that Judah’s soul has been untwisted — that he now has a heart of compassion.
Judah cannot bear the thought of putting his father through the pain of losing a son, a second time. He respectfully asks that he go in Benjamin’s place, a substitute, in order to lessen the pain for Jacob.
6. Why did Hosea 4:14 say that God would not punish the women caught in adultery? What does this tell you?
Because the men were responsible for their actions. There was a double-standard and God was addressing the sin in the men who were pursuing prostitutes, allowing it to continue. It tells me more of God’s justice, and fairness.
7. Keller said that what Judah was saying was not that Tamar was innocent, but that he was more guilty. What thoughts do you have about this?
When Christ brings about spiritual awakening in me, when He opens my eyes to my own sin—one that I was not looking for, one that I was blind to, then I begin to see that I am no better, in fact in my self-righteousness, I am worse than those I have criticized and despised.
8. Keller said that Judah needed to believe bad things about Tamar. He was continually “sticking pins” in her in his mind. Have you done that with anyone? Has the Lord broken through to you?
I have been very critical of others many times. There are several examples recently though where I have heard my thoughts—and the Lord has brought almost an identical instance to mind when I was in the wrong. It’s interesting, because I’ve begun to see ones who’ve offended me differently lately. I can’t explain it—but a few different people I’m thinking of right now, who have hurt me, who in the past I had a spew of critical thoughts about—I see them more like me now in my mind. I guess it’s that I see myself more and more as an imperfect, weak but trusting, child in His arms—and maybe they are too. Maybe when they have said and done the things they have, maybe it was from their own weak and hurting place, their wounds that still need His care. A simple example, I have a friend who will do something nice for you and then continually remind me of it—wanting repeated appreciation. It used to irk me. But this last time, I prayed for them instead—to be broken of the approval idol I know so well myself.
Not as simple, I’ve also had a few very difficult instances recently where at first it seemed “fair” to retaliate with my defense. But I held back. I let Him speak grace through me. I don’t know the outcome, but I know I did not inflict more pain in response to darts thrown at me—and I have SO much more peace than I would have otherwise.
9. How does Keller (as only Keller can do) have Judah point to the “ultimate” Judah?
Jesus, the ultimate Judah, is the opposite of this Judah. This Judah was punishing Tamar for his own sin—the ultimate Judah, Jesus, punishes Himself for OUR sin. So He can look at us, with all our sin, and call us righteous. The story of Judah and Tamar points to the Gospel. Go after justice like Tamar, go through self-discovery like Judah, and experience His grace.
Wow — Elizabeth — so wonderful to see Him coming to you and changing your thinking. I love this:
There are several examples recently though where I have heard my thoughts—and the Lord has brought almost an identical instance to mind when I was in the wrong. It’s interesting, because I’ve begun to see ones who’ve offended me differently lately.
I just had another example of question 8 today–I was rushing to the store before getting kids early from school (we had a 1/2 day called last minute for weather!) and I had 2 items. I went to the self checkout lane and all 4 were being used, all by people with carts-full (or at least well over 10…) I had that thought of “that is so unfair of them…” and then remembered a few times I’ve been in a rush and done the same thing. I thanked God for reminded me and asked forgiveness. It makes me realize what a blessing it is when He gently nudges me like that, challenging my thoughts–it’s His gracious gift of untwisting me from becoming a wreath! ;)
How I wish we could all be in the same room. How I would love to to sit and listen to so many of you talk. Dee, Elizabeth, Rebecca, Susan, Chris, Laura, Becca, and I could go on! Thankfully I do have my mom. :) But how I wish I could meet so many of you. You have so much wisdom, and such a deep relationship with God! Thank you for blessing me. I truly love this blog and reading what all of you have to say. :)
Krista
I wish we could too, Krista!
Krista, We love having you here sister! :)
Although it would be wonderful I think if we were all in the same room at the same time so much less would be accomplished. I am taking college courses and have learned much more in the online discussion boards because the opportunity for expression is greater. I am much more open and honest here then i have ever been in a live study group! Krista my heart does ache to talk with you more because of the pain you are in right now, having been there and also the other circumstances you allude too- I want so much to help you avoid many mistakes I made. I pray for you and you can picture all of us encircling you across the country in prayer, Are hands are held tight (with the Holy spirit filling any gaps) as we pray a hedge of protection to surround you!
Becca, your words truly blessed my heart. Brought me to tears, grateful tears. :) Thank you.
So sweet to see this between Becca and Krista.
3. Meditate on Hebrews 12:14-15
A. What command are we given?
Make an effort to be at peace with everyone, to be Holy, not fall short of the Grace of God, and not let a root of bitterness spring up.
B. What warning? (Find warnings within the warning!)
Without Holiness, no one will see the Lord. When we don’t extend Grace to someone and allow a root of bitterness to grow inside then we will be causing trouble and defiling many.
4. Review Genesis 38:24-26
A. How did Judah respond in verse 26?
This says a lot about Judah and about GOD and Him moving in and knowing hearts!! In an instant he went from a wicked curvature of a bitter root inside toward Tamar saying ‘take-burn’-to humbling himself-calling out his sin and holding her up as righteous..That is a pretty quick pulling of a root that is huge and has been festering for years. Judah could have said, “that is not my staff, my cord-I don’t recognized it” and denied, denied..We do that even when it is obvious we are guilty.
B. This statement is both surprising and profound. What are some of the applications that you see in this statement?
oops..Maybe I answered above..but I think my application is when God reveals the dark waters of my heart-Psalm 139..”search my heart God and see if there is any offensive way in me..” I need to respond as Judah did-Okay God you are right I am wrong-Help me as I turn and trust you.
C. What change do you see in Judah that indicated the untwisting of his soul? (Look carefully and give phrases.)
When he says she is more righteous than I-before he thought he was more righteous than she-that she had the problem and that is why his sons died. When God wakes him up with Tamar asking him “Haker na”-his soul untwisted pretty fast it seems. He went from bitterness-take, burn to stepping in her shoes and feeling her pain to have been abandoned without a husband and at the same time admits his sin-when he says, “since I wouldn’t give her to my son Shelah. And he did not sleep with her again”.
This convicts me and makes me want to have a heart like Judah-that when God opens my eyes to an offensive way in me-or a root of bitterness growing that I would humble myself and agree with God and turn QUICKLY. That I wouldn’t say, that isn’t my staff and cord!
So good to have you back, Rebecca.
It is great to be back! :-)
“Good Morning, good morning, good morning – its time to rise and shine”! Woke up with that song in my head. I was woken up with it as a child and used to sing it to wake up my children! At my age it has been many years since I have heard it and since my youngest is 22, It has been many years since I have sung it.
Just thinking how it was not always the most pleasant sound to hear, especially on cold winter mornings (like today) when the darkness outside says’ stay cuddled up under those comfortable soft blankets’. This blog directed by Dee and filled in chorus by all of you ladies is so much like that song to me. I am being strongly prompted to pull back those cozy comfortable blankets (idols) I cling to and being asked to shine! So today I rise and I shine and give God all glory for his goodness!
We’re loving having you here, Becca.
Yes..so love having you here and your encouragement and insight blesses me so! :)
I know just how you feel, Becca. I love your analogy. Some days it is hard to crawl out from under our warm blankets (idols) and turn our face to God and the light. The frigid cold of facing our faults and sins is not fun or inviting, but the Sun (Son) will come.
For some reason I can’t get the fast turn in Judah out of my mind..I think God jolted him yes, but he could have gone any way with it-he could have said that Tamar stole his things and is lying..I think God had a lot to do with Judah’s heart changing..I think God gave Judah a tender heart to begin with and over his life over time Judah let seeds of bitterness set in..I think God pursued Judah and allowed all of this-God knew what it would take to open his eyes-for him to make that turn. Judah reminds me of Peter. Peter had major issues-even denied Jesus but God is faithful-had His Hand on Peter’s heart and continued making him Holy-transforming him over time. This sure does give this ragamuffin gal relief! So I rejoice- What Hope, what love and I know that even if I have a deep root that he exposes-and I am sure I do- it isn’t so big that He can’t rip it out by the roots- It is sweet that He is building this confidence in my often scared shaking self! :)
Good analysis. I agree. Leah made her turn when he was born, and I’m sure trained him.
Verse 26 from The Message:
26 “Judah saw they were his. He said, “She’s in the right; I’m in the wrong– I wouldn’t let her marry my son Shelah.” He never slept with her again.”
This statement is both surprising and profound. What are some of the applications that you see in this statement?
“Judah saw they were his”
He saw that the greater part in the sin was his. Tamar was not innocent, but Judah saw the weight of his own sin and was humbled.
What change do you see in Judah that indicated the untwisting of his soul? (Look carefully and give phrases.)
“She is more righteous than I”
He was willing to bear the public disgrace of admitting that he was the one in the wrong.
He stopped blaming and hating Tamar.
I wonder how her treated her and her children thereafter, if he ‘bore fruit in keeping with repentance’. I suppose that in showing he never slept with her again could be an indication, that he didn’t continue to see her as an object.
I suspect he treated her well for we see his heart change with Joseph.
4. Review Genesis 38:24-26
A. How did Judah respond in verse 26? – Because Judah recognized the items Tamar brought out to show him he rescinded his first remark about having her burned and said that Tamar is more righteous than he was.
B. This statement is both surprising and profound. What are some of the applications that you see in this statement? – He ended up seeing that he was wrong to be so judgmental and double minded about Tamar. He realized that him and his sons were the ones that were in the wrong. Tamar was getting what he should have given to her in the first place.
C. What change do you see in Judah that indicated the untwisting of his soul? (Look carefully and give phrases.) – vs 24 Judah is very judgmental where he says “Bring her out and have her burned to death!” and then in vs 26 he turns completely around when he admits that he recognized them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I wouldn’t give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not sleep with her again.
5. Read Genesis 44:16-34
Find phrases that show that Judah’s soul has been untwisted — that he now has a heart of compassion. – All throughout these verses Judah is pleading with Joseph, like begging him to not take Benjamin from them that by taking him would kill his father. That he will put himself in the place of Benjamin, he would now do anything to spare his brother Benjamin and his father’s life. In these verses he is showing more love, compassion and concern for others over himself. He is willing to give up his own life now instead of taking the life of another.
Yes — so good.
I have a prayer request, actually I have two.
The first one is for my daughter Crystal, I think I have mentioned before that she works with YWAM in Kona and is working on setting up a school of dance studies at that base, the first school will start this summer. She has been struggling with a few things, including being busy helping other schools at the base. I have been feeling for a while that God has been trying to get her attention on something (not sure what) but that she has been too busy to take the time to hear clearly. She called me today distressed and depressed. She has decided to step back from helping the other schools, things are not going well and its now affecting her health. She wants to focus just on the school of dance (that she has been praying 4 years for) but she hasn’t been very successful in raising additional support so she is having a really hard time with basic things, like paying her phone bill. She is going back and forth emotionally about coming home or staying where she is. She feels called to the school of dance and ywam, but because of all this other stuff, she is struggling period. Because she gets called so much for various things in Kona, she really wouldn’t easily be able to step back for a few weeks and just spend time with God figuring things out. I suggested that she come home for a few weeks, where no one could bug her (I would have to pay for her flight home) and she could just spend that time quietly with God (and us). I will be talking with her again on Sunday to make that decision and I would pray that she is able to clearly hear what God wants her to do, with respect to both the few weeks home as well as whether she is on the path He wants her on.
My second prayer request is actually for me. This week I have had difficulty with this bible study blog, I have been able to read all the posts, absorb some of the points, but when I try to read the questions and think for myself, it is like my brain is trying to work through a wall. It is like I am totally detached from the discussion and as a result, I stepped back to try to figure things out. I realized today that stepping back quietly was probably not a good thing to do and that I could be completely honest about what I was trying to get through with this group. I am not sure what is going on, why I am having such a hard time. Since joining the blog a few months ago, I have heard and learned a number of things and have come to appreciate each and everyone of you. You have helped me, even when you weren’t aware that your comments were impacting. This week however is for some reason very hard to even think through. The only thing that I can think of is that there is something the Lord wants me to see and the enemy is working overtime to try to prevent that.
I would really truly appreciate your prayers for both myself and my daughter, especially over the next while. Thank you so much.
Father, we so ask for You to watch over Crystal in Korean in YWAM, bringing her back to her first love, to spend time with You. And for you to protect Mary from the distractions of the enemy, bringing her back and helping her focus.
In Jesus Name
God we just ask that you would give Crystal discernment and that you would come to her and break through anything that is hindering her from you-open her eyes yet bring her encouragement at the same time for you are the God of All Comfort. Help Mary-search her heart and help her to see what is blocking her this week, still the enemy and we trust you will only give him enough rope to hang himself. In Jesus name, amen.
Yes, Lord, I agree in pray for Mary and her dear daughter Crystal–thank You that You are a God who pursues us, protects us, and hold us close–I pray that for Mary and Crystal today
Amen to these good prayers, I am glad you told us whats on your heart rather than “quietly stepping back”, keep on keeping on Mary!
Praying also Mary, for you and your daughter.
Ladies, I wish to thank you so much for your prayers. This week there was alot I didn’t know, but one thing I did know, without doubt, that I could request prayer support from this group and that it would come. I also knew that there would be some who would pray for us, even without posting that they would (I do that, so I think others do as well). But I so honestly feel supported by a group of diverse women from all over North America, that I feel that God had really answered my prayers last fall for a group to connect with. God didn’t answer that prayer in a way that I was expecting, but then again, He rarely does. I still don’t have any answers and I will be talking to my daughter later today after I get home from Church, but I did want to thank you all so much for your support.
6. Why did Hosea 4:14 say that God would not punish the women caught in adultery? What does this tell you?
God is a God of justice-Even though it is wrong and He doesn’t say it is right-he will mitigate their punishment because of His compassion for them for their men have heaped on them a great injustice, and oppression.
7. Keller said that what Judah was saying was not that Tamar was innocent, but that he was more guilty. What thoughts
do you have about this?
That lines up with Hosea 4:14. My thoughts are that God didn’t design women to be treated like this by men-God isn’t like this-He hates oppression. Tamar knew her plan was the only way to bring justice to her life-she wasn’t desiring to be a prostitute-and I wonder if most women because of oppression by the men in their life felt they had to go into prostitution. I think Judah was twisted in his view of women and in how he treated them. Judah accused her of sinning-but she did in order to bring justice to her life, yet his sin was lying to her, oppressing her and going to prostitutes-I think his oppression and injustice toward her caused her to stumble so he is partially guilty for her sin as well.
8. Keller said that Judah needed to believe bad things about Tamar. He was continually “sticking pins” in her in his mind. Have you done that with anyone? Has the Lord broken through to you?
I am going to think about this and come back to it. I can’t think of anyone right now but that doesn’t mean I haven’t done it.
9. How does Keller (as only Keller can do) have Judah point to the “ultimate” Judah?
Tamar got her life back when Judah says in spite of your sin you are righteous and she got her life back. Judah is pointing to the ultimate Judah-we need to hear the ultimate Judah look at us and say truly despite all your sins you are righteous. The real Jesus took the punishment for our sins-judah didn’t..that is why Jesus can look at us and say, “righteous.”… Jesus points to how Judah should have been.
10. What is your take-a-way and why?
I’ve been thinking on this a few days, may come back with more—but for now, I love, love what this passage tells me about my God:
His providence—His plan could not be thwarted by Judah’s scheme or the sins of his sons;
His power to bring beauty from ashes, to straighten crooked paths, to use the least to fulfill His will;
His grace exceeds so far beyond anything we can imagine
His tenderness towards those mistreated;
His justice and intolerance of disobedience;
His unrelenting pursuit to break us free from sin and bring us back to Him. He claims me, carries me like a lost sheep over His shoulder, safely to Him.
Yes. So well put.
5. Read Genesis 44:16-34
Find phrases that show that Judah’s soul has been untwisted — that he now has a heart of compassion.
“We have a father, an old man, and a young brother, the child of his old age. His brother is dead, and he alone is left of his mother’s children, and his father loves him.”
“as soon as I come to your servant my father, and the boy is not with us, then, as his life is bound up in the boy’s life, 31 as soon as he sees that the boy is not with us, he will die”
“For your servant became a pledge of safety for the boy to my father,”
This was the one that really struck me:
“If I do not bring him back to you, then I shall bear the blame before my father all my life.”
“33 Now therefore, please let your servant remain instead of the boy as a servant to my lord, and let the boy go back with his brothers. 34 For how can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? I fear to see the evil that would find my father.”
Susan, did you make it to that new bible study? I know a lot was canceled here because of the snow earlier this week.
Yes, I did and I think it’s going to be good. We watched the first short video – I also found it on Youtube – it’s Pete Wilson Empty Promises DVD 1, and he talks about idolatry, and how often the catalyst to idolatry is having to wait. Our leader is a retired teacher – she’s very organized! We didn’t have the snow here on Tues., just the bitter cold. Our snow came yesterday…I’m hoping for some sled riding this weekend!
I listened to a youtube interview with Pete Wilson on “Empty Promises”. I was very interesting. I am so glad you are in a face to face study group. I hope the Christian fellowship fellowship will be a real blessing from the Lord for you. You are such a special person.
I am glad for you Susan, I hope the study will be a great experience.
It has been snowing here all morning, I wish I felt like going sledding…I admire your ambition!
A small side note.
In reading this, Genesis 38:28 “As she was giving birth, one of them put out his hand; so the midwife took a scarlet thread and tied it on his wrist and said, ‘This one came out first.’ 29 But when he drew back his hand, his brother came out, and she said, ‘So this is how you have broken out!’ And he was named Perez. 30 Then his brother, who had the scarlet thread on his wrist, came out. And he was named Zerah.”, I couldn’t help but think OW! what a traumatic birth for Tamar to go through and with no pain meds. It’s a miracle that they were even born at all. Zerah would have to have been sideways to have his arm sticking out. It’s a wonder she lived through it.
Ohhh — that brings it to life!
I have a prayer request. A major confrontation has occurred today between our son-in-law Jeff and my husband Aubrey. Aubrey confronted Jeff both by phone and by hand-delivered letter spelling out to Jeff what we have discovered about Krista’s legal rights regarding custody and access rights toward the boys (none of which Jeff has been abiding by). We fully expect a severe backlash from Jeff toward Krista, but we feel we could not stand by and allowing him to keep emotionally berating her and refusing her due and proper access. Please pray for Krista’s protection and for her courage to respond is a tough but godly manner to Jeff. Also pray that our “tough love” will bring about Jeff’s repentance and that God’s will be done in this situation. My husband is very “slow to anger” so this is a major, major step for him to take in defence of our daughter and I am scared but SO PROUD of him.
Lord, I come before You now and ask that You work mightily in this family! Thank You Lord for Aubrey being bold in protecting his daughter. Lord, please protect Krista and the boys. I pray Father that Jeff’s heart would be broken–that this would finally break his stoney heart and draw him to repentance and bring about healing for he and Krista.I feel so many emotions I don’t even have words to pray–but please Lord, please rescue this situation and be glorified in it. I ask too that You would be a strong Comforter to Diane and Aubrey now–thank You Lord
Amen..
Read this in my email, have been praying too, I keep asking that Jeff will see his covenant role as a husband and father, and that his heart will soften towards Krista.
Praying for wisdom and peace for all of you.
Thank you. So far I haven’t talked to Jeff. Usually I do briefly when I call to talk to the boys in the evening, but he wasn’t home from work yet…which honestly I was thankful for. But I know I will have to talk to him soon.
Really need to go to bed. I feel like I’m getting a cold, I hope it won’t be too bad!
Diane, Prayed last night and will keep praying! This is so hard..
Just seeing this now, Diane….oh…I think Aubrey did the right thing in speaking up for Krista. I will be praying along the lines of Elizabeth’s prayer.
Oh — I’m thinking of that photo of Aubrey and how gentle he looked. This is major and I’m so grateful to him. I pray God uses it mightily.
Dear Diane, I’m in prayer for the very things you ask. I feel a real heart tug for Krista and her boys and I’m so proud of your husband to stand up and speak his piece for Krista! After all those summer’s I cried watching my ex’s girlfriend drive away with my babies in her car…crying for me, to drive from NE to PA, I found out later from a very good lawyer that I would not of ever had to let my kids go with her at all. The exchange was to be made between my ex and myself,(meeting half way, which we did the last few years) as they were not even married. I didn’t know because I was ignorant and had a very low paid lawyer then. It’s when he tried to get custody of the kids a few years later, that I got a better lawyer and was told this. I agonished over it and blamed myself for years. So pay for a very good lawyer and get the best advise for everything and save her and the boys from heartbreak. It’s hard enough to go through divorce with kids, so never listen to Jeff…only her lawyer. I’m praying!
Thanks for the warning, Joyce. We will try to be very careful about making sure we have a good lawyer.
Thanks, everyone, for your prayers and concern. Pray for Krista as she sees the boys at church today as well as has to interact with Jeff and his family. So far she has had no outward reaction from Jeff, so we all sit on pins and needles waiting for the explosion, if it comes.
Diane, I have been praying for Krista and you and Aubrey since I read this in my email a few days ago. I have been wondering for a while whether Krista had a lawyer. I haven’t said anything previous as I wasn’t sure what to say, however since I am also a Canadian, I do want to let you and Krista know that my understanding is that there is a Federal law that deems that in every divorce that the best interests of the children is joint custody, unless there is a compelling reason for that not to be. I happened to remember this part as I was divorced under the old federal laws and therefore ended up with sole custody. If my divorce was under the current law then my ex would have had joint custody and that would have actually worked out worse for my daughter, as he would have interfered in things like sending my daughter to a Christian School, taking her to Church etc. He is the type to control where possible, in my case I was grateful that he couldn’t control anything. If Jeff is playing games,then I strongly encourage Krista to get a lawyer, preferably the pit bull kind, to respond to Jeff’s seeming quest of parental alienation. Also I would suggest that you keep written notes of every encounter with Jeff. The written letter that Aubrey delivered to Jeff will most likely end up in front of a judge when that time comes. If you keep notes of every encounter, dates, times what was said by anyone in your family with anyone in his family, that can also be important in court. However it is important in your notes just to stick to the facts, no impressions or feelings etc, just what happened. Be honest, don’t gloss over anything, again just facts. This notebook will be very important if and when they end up in front of a judge. If your note book sticks to the facts and is seen by the judge as honest, then that could work in her favour.
I cannot stress the keeping detailed notes on the facts enough. About a year ago I was a witness in a court case, it wasn’t family law, it was a situation that involved a former employer. Another company did something wrong and my former employer sued them. When I realized what the other company did (or in this case didn’t do), I spent time detailing all of the events, conversations, notes that had taken place between myself and the other company. That “note” ended up being about 5 pages typed detailing everything that I knew and could remember. The guy for the other company did not do the same thing and my 5 page memo was admitted as evidence when it finally went to court. Since I was in court as a witness 6 years after the events happened, my memo carried more weight than anyone’s memory, especially since the other company didn’t make any notes and was going on his memory.
Good luck, I will continue to pray for you all since God can work in ways that no lawyer can. But I still recommend that you go and get a lawyer, not one that does many things, find one that specializes in family law, that is where you will find the one who will help Krista (and by extension the boys) the most.
I also hope you don’t mind my suggestions, I think that it’s important to try to cooperate and live at peace as much as possible, however if Jeff is doing the opposite, a good lawyer will know what to do about it that will protect Krista and the boys.
I appreciate your advice, Mary. I can’t go into details here but we have already had some advice from a lawyer and are in the process of seeking more. Again we have already been advised to keep notes on what is said between Jeff and Krista, but your more detailed suggestions are helpful. Also, seeking a lawyer who specializes in family law is a good one.
Thank you so much Mary, I truly appreciate your thoughts!
Krista
10. What is your take-a-way and why?
That God even cares about the Oppressor and wants to untwist his soul and set him free. I keep going back to God hates oppression..yet he wants to set the oppressor free..He is the Lion and the Lamb. This is the Gospel.
Do i REALLY care about the things God cares about-does my heart ache for the things he aches for? In this area of justice I am not sure-I so desire justice for the oppressed but i want a harsh justice for the unrepentant oppressor. Yet Jesus died for me in my sins-sure I haven’t enslaved people and oppressed them but is an oppressor’s sin any worse than mine? NO. Am I any better than an oppressor? NO. He gave his life while I was yet a sinner, while I was yet unrepentant.
So good, Rebecca.
5. Read Genesis 44:16-34
Find phrases that show that Judah’s soul has been untwisted – that he now has a heart of compassion.
V16 – “What can we say…how can we justify ourselves…God has found out our iniquity…we are all your slaves” – this shows Judah’s repentant heart. He is past making excuses, he is not rationalizing sin. He says, in effect, we are all in this together – we’re not leaving Benjamin here, we will all stay.
The next several verses show Judah explaining about their father, and how if he were to lose Benjamin, it would bring him down to the grave in sorrow. Judah didn’t care about Jacob’s grief when they lied about Joseph being dead, but now he is showing compassion for his father.
V33 – “Please let me remain instead of the lad a slave to my lord…” – Judah offers himself in the place of Benjamin.
Heading into the battlefield… Will be seeing my ‘difficult relationship” person and praying for peace and joy. Really fighting right now to not allow the bitterness to well up and i am physically and mentally exhausted already!
Praying for you, Becca. I know how you feel. God is our defender.
Praying!
Praying Becca
Why did Hosea 4:14 say that God would not punish the women caught in adultery? What does this tell you?
I feel it tells us that God is not simplistic in his understanding of human behavior. That when those who have power and responsibility are guilty of sin it affects others, God sees this, He has understanding, He wants those in leadership to go first in holiness.
Keller said that what Judah was saying was not that Tamar was innocent, but that he was more guilty. What thoughts do you have about this?
Judah had all the power and responsibility, Tamar was under his authority and dependant upon Judah to fulfill his duty toward her.
Her pursuit of justice was more righteous than Judah’s withholding of it, though they both sinned, he had more power and greater responsibility.
Keller said that Judah needed to believe bad things about Tamar. He was continually “sticking pins” in her in his mind. Have you done that with anyone? Has the Lord broken through to you?
Ugh, I am trying to decide if I am guilty of this with my sister. It is hard to differentiate between healthy boundaries because of real misdeeds and an over doing the blame and fault finding.
I am working on this and praying for discernment. She is a widow…I don’t want to ignore that.
PRAYING FOR DISCERNMENT FOR YOU.
10. What is your take-a-way and why?
After listening to Keller, I think 5 times, I have learned so much! About sin, forgiveness, loving others, and being humble. Thank you Dee for sharing Tamar with me :)
You bless me!
6. Why did Hosea 4:14 say that God would not punish the women caught in adultery? What does this tell you?
Keller said that this verse states plainly the sin of the women/daughter-in-laws – their sin of prostitution and adultery…God calls their sin what it is, He’s not saying it’s right; yet…God calls out the men – they are just as guilty – they are going to the prostitutes. The sin of injustice can overshadow the sins of the people. God is mitigating the women’s punishment because the men are more guilty than they are.
This tells me that God is the only One qualified to truly judge sin and pronounce judgement.
7. Keller said that what Judah was saying was not that Tamar was innocent, but that he was more guilty. What thoughts do you have about this?
Keller called this Judah’s spiritual awakening; when the people you used to despise-you recognize you’re no better than they are, and maybe worse. I feel this must have been a truly humbling moment for Judah.
I’ve seen this in my own marriage – what my husband says or does may be sinful, but my reaction-unforgiveness, bitterness, is just as wicked and God sees it as sin.
8. Keller said that Judah needed to believe bad things about Tamar. He was continually “sticking pins” in her in his mind. Have you done that with anyone? Has the Lord broken through to you?
Keller said Judah needed to justify himself in his own mind, so he needed to hate Tamar and blame her for everything-that was so much easier than admitting there was a problem with his sons, or with his parenting. Yes, I’ve “stuck pins” in people in my mind.
When I read this question, it brought the image of a voodoo doll-sticking pins in the doll was supposed to cause real physical ills to the person it represented. We may not lift a finger against another, or open our mouths, but our thoughts can reach that kind of hateful intensity – that’s why Jesus compared hatred to murder. We can murder another in our thoughts.
This sermon helped me to understand the reason I “stick pins” – it’s more than silently complaining against them – it is to justify myself, cover-up my own sin.
9. How does Keller (as only Keller can do) have Judah point to the “ultimate” Judah?
Judah wanted to punish Tamar, but in the end, he gave her her life back because he covered over her sin. He said, in effect, in spite of your sin, you are more righteous than I.
Jesus, the ultimate Judah, looks at us and says, in spite of your sin, you are righteous – He can do that because He takes our punishment upon Himself.
I really liked this sermon! I always saw this chapter in Genesis as somewhat of an interruption in the story of Joseph, and I was anxious to get back to “what’s happening now with Joseph?” Now I see how this theme of “Haker Na” began with Joseph’s tunic dipped in blood, to Judah’s seal, cord, and staff, and finally to Joseph and his brothers finally recognizing him…I see now the change in Judah’s heart. I understand better how God feels about injustice and oppression, how Tamar was a victim of that.
Susan, your humble estimate of your own twisted thoughts is very convicting here. You live every day with injustice, yet you humbly turn to the Light. I need to do this too, constantly asking forgiveness instead of “sticking pins” on those who wrong me. Your spirit is so beautiful.
10. What is your take-away and why?
There seemed to be a theme running through lots of the posts this week – ladies sharing honestly about how they have been hurt, and how, by God’s help, they have forgiven. This has helped me to “see” forgiveness in action – not just reading about it and knowing I’m supposed to, but to see it modeled and lived-out.
I think it a helpful and stern image to take with me about how bitterness and hatred will twist my soul, and how Judah was twisted with hatred for his brother and Tamar.
My prayer will be for the grace of God to be shown to me, as it was to Judah – to untwist, to help me see and recognize my own sin, to turn toward the light.
Good you saw that theme — God is on the move here! Loved your thoughts on “the interruption in the story of Joseph!”
I’m back and we are all better. I’ve been so tired tho. I pray no one else gets this awful flu!
So glad. Rest, dear friend.
Dear ladies, Thank you for the prayer support yesterday. Overall it went ok, will share more later. One neat “God” thing was the You version “verse of the day” was John 15:12-13 This is my command; love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love…
Anyway I woke up with Krista and her family on my heart. (Yesterday I was facing my husband’s former spouse.)I was reminded how divorce is so destructive to all. I want to commit to praying more intensely for Jeff to experience true mercy and forgiveness from God so he may extend it to Krista. I was thinking of this verse in exodus and how we must help Krista hold her hands up to God for victory in this battle. I was hoping some of you may commit to one day a week to storm heaven with prayers for this situation for the next month. I know my family has done this type of prayer chain on other occasions and it is powerful. So if anyone is interested just post what day you want to intensely pray for Krista and Jeff and I will take whatever day(s) are left. And we can always double up too. I just really feel that God is a God of impossible. And Krista please don’t signup for a day because this is us holding you up darling girl.
Exodus 17:12
When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up–one on one side, one on the other–so that his hands remained steady till sunset.
Oh, Becca. I am overwhelmed. This idea of concentrated prayer for Krista and Jeff just touches my heart so deeply. Our arms are tired and we really need others to help hold them up. I am in tears.
Becca…thank you. I’m in tears as well. Having a hard day, just something else personal I’m going through with someone who used to be a very dear friend.
Anyway, this would mean sooo much! Jeff acted “fine” around me today. Honestly I’m wondering if he even got the letter Dad wrote him, yet. Though I did notice that his mother made sure I had time with the boys at her place this afternoon. I was very grateful for that!
God bless you, truly!
Krista
6. Why did Hosea 4:14 say that God would not punish the women caught in adultery? What does this tell you?
The culture overlooked the male participation in adulterous acts…women were viewed as “the sinner” while men got off without much of a second thought. God is interested in justice…He abhors hypocrisy…He has a heart for truth and mercy.
7. Keller said that what Judah was saying was not that Tamar was innocent, but that he was more guilty. What thoughts do you have about this?
I loved this clarification…it helped me to view events in my own life in different, more clarifying terms. Tamar was not without fault…the deception she employed in entrapping of Judah sexually was wrong, BUT what predicated Tamar’s actions was Judah’s inaction and false promise of arranging marriage of Tamar to Shelah. Judah’s deception was more sinful and overshadowed Tamar’s sin, but both were guilty of sinning in this circumstance.
8. Keller said that Judah needed to believe bad things about Tamar. He was continually “sticking pins” in her in his mind. Have you done that with anyone? Has the Lord broken through to you?
yes and yes…
9. How does Keller (as only Keller can do) have Judah point to the “ultimate” Judah?
A sinful Judah is willing to sacrifice his life to slavery in exchange for the freedom of his brother, Benjamin…a sinless Jesus willingly sacrificed His life to free us from our sin and its consequence, death.
Becca, I would very much like to participate in a concerted prayer effort for Krista and Jeff. Let me ponder what day might work best for me to be my “focused prayer day”…what a tender heart you have, Becca.